The primaries for Ohio and Texas are fast approaching. Tensions are high between Hillary and Obama. Unless Hillary scores these last two states, she's pretty much ether.
So after Hillary went all Exorcist on Obama about some slanted flyers his campaign disseminated -- pretty normal fare in a political death match -- we were like, Okay, the girl has snapped. It's over.
Then this picture of Obama wearing Somali garb surfaces. And instead of going "Uh, yeah, Obama's dad was African -- is that a problem?", camp Obama goes apeshit and accuses camp Hillary of smearing their Fearless Leader in the last dregs of this doomed pissing contest.
To drive us into the arms of BankWest (Australia), some kittens sang us a song. It was weird and they were scary (like furry robot gremlins), but they spelled our names and everything.
The campaign was put together by Host and Glue Society. Its purpose is to associate banking with happiness. (Guess that depends on why you're at the bank, though.)
OK, so.....are we to believe that Beate Uhse condoms are so good (or is it bad?) they can help a guy last so long he'd get bored of all that intense thrusting and just start playing games of Sudoku or connect-the-dots on the stomach or back of his sex receptacle? And yea, if all the guy is doing is pounding into the girl while playing games on her then, yes, she is being treated as a sex receptacle. So are we also to believe Beate Uhse thinks that's all women are good for? WTF?
Maybe Justin Timberlake is the new ad babe. He hooked up with Pepsi for that Pepsi commercial that sucked. Now, he's hooked up with Parfums Givenchy to be the brands spokesmodel for an un-named fragrance to be launched in August. The dude's a singer, actor, clothing designer and now a cologne salesman.
And let's not forget. He's the "wardrobe malfunction" guy that, as a result, has given us a steady stream of old rockers every year for the Super Bowl. Which, perhaps, is not a bad thing. After all, if they're still doing it at age 60, they must at least be sorta good.
UK-based National Pig Association surveys say consumers would pay more to keep high-quality British pig farming in business. Currently, farmers lose about 20 pounds ($39.09) per pig.
The elegant solution: "Stand By Your Ham," an objectively painful pop appropriation. Stay safe and Read the lyrics instead.
Sensory molestation aside, will the song save British farmers from losing their livelihoods? (It sure as hell won't save pigs.)
See ponderous print ad too.
"But how do I do that?" you wonder.
Actually, you can't. But if you have a Blackberry, Treo or iPhone, you can locate a dealership and schedule a test drive.
"This is everything I've ever wanted!" you cry.
Wait! Don't thank us. Thank Ford, Mediaedge:cia and AdMob.
To win the youth vote Obama stole like a thief in the night, Hillary further strains our suspension of disbelief with "the playlist for YOUR future."
It's a UGC support site! (We like how when you mouse over the videos, the bottom right-hand corner says "Posted by Americans!")
Does Hillary speak for you?
Monster.com's "Your Call is Calling" campaign has been a buzzkill since launch, particularly against CareerBuilder's darkly funny "Start Building."
But "The Stork" -- a :60 spot by BBDO, NY for Monster -- begets a bit of greatness.
You know that "What hath God wrought!" look your parents give you when you talk about what you do for a living? Apparently storks do it really well. Two hours later, we're still wallowing in quiet shame.
Jokes aside, the ad left us with a sense that there's magic and meaning in what a person chooses to do with his life. It's melancholy, well-timed and worth the watch.
"Crack One Open" is a Cenergy Communications-developed campaign for Steinlager. It involves rugby and broken bones. We don't really get it.
To help us get it, the PR guy was all, "If fart jokes say 'beer,' why not bandages, rx pads, x-rays?"
And then we were like, "Fart jokes say beer? Oh right. If Budweiser says so, it must be true."
We're assuming these three Kelliher Samets Volk-created commercials for Efficiency Vermont, an organization which encourages people to use compact fluorescent bulbs, were purposefully created to be bad. If not, we have no other explanation for why the they are so goofy. See one of the spots here. The other two are nearly identical.
Along with the three spots, the campaign includes local newspapers, online ads and a website on which "Jesse Fewer Watts" (get it?) and his Western buddies ride into town to collect "Incan Derek" (that's stretching it) for his crimes against light bulb efficiency.
OK, OK. It's for a good cause. We'll stop complaining.