Woman Gives Birth To Drug-free Teen Without Drugs.

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Contextual madness.

Mastercard Trots Priceless 'Icons' Back onto the Stage

"Icons," a McCann-Erickson/NY spot that aired during the '05 Super Bowl, is a fond standby of Mastercard's "Priceless" campaign.

Prep for serious warm-fuzzy syndrome: it's composed of brand mascots -- Count Chocula, the Vlasic stork, Jolly Green Giant, Pillsbury Doughboy -- having Soul Food-style dinner as Mr. Clean slaves merrily over the sink. Some of the icons weren't even animated for TV prior to this. (Thank Calabash for bringing them to life.)

Too much good stuff. There's even some illicit Facebooky pokeage between Doughboy and Morton Salt girl. Scandale!

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Post Concedes to Putting the 'No' in 'Innovation'

Post Shredded Wheat, that most generic of cereals, did itself a favor and passed on that most generic of cereal commercials: a shot of mom, dad and the happy kids, pouring cascades of milk onto yielding gobs of grain.

Instead it went for another gimmick: Formidable Authority Figure, touting the dangers of progress.

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Green Eyed World, PhotoBucket's Delusions of Relevance, Adweek v AdAge

- Sprite + YouTube + Facebook + pop star = Green Eyed World, an orgy of Entirely Too Much BS.

- How to nail an interview. (Complete with hidden camera footage!)

- "It's not the shape of the thing, I just like the perfect blend of tech-speak and contraception."

- Pharma popped in PPC prevarication shakedown.

- PhotoBucket tries breaking TwitPic territory. Good fucking luck.

- Adweek v AdAge.

- Mattel, please keep your silicone-stained hands off Dora the Explorer. Oh no, too late.

Why Waterboard When You Can Be Fat, Naked and Jovial?

A little Southern soda called Cheerwine breaks the bank wide open on interrogation tactics in the US of A.

We give you "Good Cop, Naked Cop." It went live on YouTube this week, and Feed Company -- the cats that brought you Never Hide and Live Unbuttoned -- is doin' the disseminating.

If the Cheerwine tickles yer fancy, visit the it's a soft drink website. (Glad they were nice and clear about that from get-go, because we were holding out hope there'd be cheery ol' liquor involved.) Site sorta reminds us of that Clearification thing Microsoft did back before Crispin sank its teeth into the account and ripped a hole in the brand equity continuum. You know, you've got a witty but neurotic guy ... just bantering. With himself.

Campaign by Hauser Group; web content by Awesome, Inc. Also keep your eyes peeled for a Cheerwine "Chilled Out Tour" and ambassador program, expected to unroll in select markets in late '09.

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One Show Pokes Fun Without Actually Making Concessions

After all that awkward backtracking over how much agencies dish out for its pencil-shaped paperweights (where does all that money go?), The One Show is under pressure to lighten the strain on its PR team.

Add to that the usual speculation about whether an old boy's club decides who wins what each year. How best to respond? Nudge-nudge the conspiracy theorists back, which is what One Show tries doing in this series of wordy tongue-in-cheek prints.

With headings like "Secret handshakes. Secret passwords. Secret secrets," creatives hither and yon can guffaw while the One Club rib-jabs and wink-winks the following message into our collective subconscious: Think we're not transparent enough? That's because WE'RE NOT!

"Shadowy" is at left. Also see "Whisper" and "Shroud." Work by Charlotte-based BooneOakley.

K-Y Swears It Can Intensify Female Pleasure.

I just showed a Sexually Active Female Friend (SAFF) a spot from the latest campaign for K-Y Intense -- a product that claims it's scientifically proven to get girls off harder.

SAFF's response: "This makes me entirely uncomfortable."

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Trump Lends Moody Scowl to Lifelock Campaign

Lifelock touts its identity theft protection capabilities with this online video about the biggest identity theft scandal in the world.

The premise: one person has won the chance to meet "the Donald." (I like how he's now so important, he's preceded by an article.) As a result, hundreds of thousands of people are claiming to be the person named.

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Cracked-Out Rabbits Spot-Check New Grand Scenic

Renault's launched a microsite for the Nouveau Grand Scenic et Les Tests Cretins des Lapins Cretins, which translates to "The New Grand Scenic -- and Moronic Tests by Moronic Rabbits."

Resulting spots -- in which hyperactive buck-toothed rabbits quality-test Grand Scenics en masse and sans inhibition -- don't need any translating. The effort reminds us of Scion's Little Deviants, except more frenetic and somehow scarier.

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