We're amazed by how the Patriot Act has affected every one of our rights except protection from double jeopardy, which remains Simpson's ongoing joke on a rubbernecking nation.
It was only a matter of time before the definitive chapter of his botched If I Did It... book leaked to the press. Our favourite part of what he would have done (if he did it) was the end: "Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can't tell you exactly how."
Laughter. And the smacking of gloved hands.
Read the rest of the chapter summary here.
We'd never be able to turn down anything involving Nick Cannon, and 5W clearly hopes you feel the same way because they've just crowned the young Wild'n Out star with dinner host status for Sundance Escape '07. Other celebs you'd die before missing, we're sure, include poker prodigy Doyle Brunson, who'll also be signing autographs for a book he wrote.
5W PR CEO Ronn Torossian gushes, "We are thrilled to have a presence this year, and to have our clients Evian, Anheuser-Busch and Doyle Brunson, joining." Yeah, presence for these sorts of things is always a plus. The fun goes down in Park City, UT from January 18th- 22nd.
If for some incomprehensible reason you can't make it in the flesh, mouth Nick Cannon's raps in your living room while watching the whole thing live on Stickam. We wouldn't miss it even if we had terminal cancer, so be there or risk making the mistake of your life.
Stashwax makes a Braveheart spoof with the anti-Semitic comments Gibson made during his Malibu DUI arrest. Saturday Night Live does the same thing (but slightly better) with Apocalypto. We have to admit Gibson makes the pairing of his melodramatic films and drunken bigoted hyperbole a little irresistible.
Despite this inarguable fact, Stashwax has its panties in a twist over SNL's outright piracy of "their" idea, even showcasing this momentous battle on their homepage. Stashwax President Lloyd Grenache tastefully adds, "Stay off our gags [...] Gibson is our Anti-Semite - go find your own."
Looks like Stashwax is trying to leverage itself by suggesting it's SNL's only logical media nemesis. And we're sure we haven't seen the end of one-upmanship between TV and the 'net. But there's really no contest here. South Park has long owned Mel Gibson with its own artful rendering way back when Passion of the Christ came out. Sorry.
One day we got thirsty so Shawn over at Shedwa offered us a sip from his water bottle, the contents of which had a distinctively sharp odour. We would have drunk it anyway but when we saw the label read ADEQUITE, we knew better.
Actually that's a lie. And the Adequite water in this print ad is probably similarly unfounded considering how pissy Lohan got over that "Be adequite" thing getting out and making her look all stupid. And as the little red celebu-hoodrat is so fond of sporting her AA pins, maybe she's not even an alcoholic.
We're on your side, Lindsay. It's actually we who are the alcoholics. And we're drunk with love of you.
No doubt, this is some marketers cheeky idea of a promotion but we're going to have to wait a while before we find out who's behind it. But let's not let details get in the way of celebrating the collection of celebrity pubic hairs which, when mounted and autographed, are sold...all to make money to donate to charity. Locks of Love? Screw that. With everyone body grooming these days, there ought to be a whole lot more pubes to donate than head hair. So when you celeb Shave Everywhere, don't just let it all go down the drain. Use your god given attributes to help those in need! Besides, you drain won't clog and it'll be much nicer on your house cleaner.
Oh, there's a countdown clock on the site insuring we check back to see what this is all about on January 15. Hmm. Philips? Yea, we think so.
Oh we're sure Hollywood will screw this one up too but...oh...wait...maybe not. In the movie Perfect Stanger with Halle Berry, Bruce Willis play a high powered ad exec who's apparently power-hungry, ruthless, a jerk and a guy who cheats on his wife. Nah, that couldn't even remotely resemble an ad exec. Anyway, Reverse Cowgirl points us to this trailer for the movie so we can, once again, revel in Hollywood's depiction of the ad industry as a slimed-filled pit of immorality.
For Snakes on a Plane we witnessed what a forum can do when they really like you. For Tom Green we might see what a forum can do when you're teetering over the edge of sanity.
Post Freddy Got Fingered (among other tribulations) it would be an understatement to say Tom is upset with his fans. Since the cancellation of his short-lived MTV show he has little hope that his months-old internet efforts will do much better.
Oh we just can't pass on featuring one of our favorite, over-the-top Bond girls Zena Onatop aka Famke Jansen who is appearing in a "Be An Angel For Animals" PETA ad. Famke and PETA want us to be nice to dogs this holiday season. The ad, shot by Andrew Southam, was unveiled at an event yesterday in LA at Runyon Canyon Park. So don't crate your dog when you go to the inlaws for Christmas this year. Call Famke and I'm sure she'd be happy to come over and watch your dog.
Smirnoff Ice's Save the Mistletoe is an amusingly long-way-around attempt to say Smirnoff brings people together (just like mistletoe - so stop ravaging innocent bushes).
While we remain unmoved by the plight of the sprig, the execution wins us over. By some curious witch magic the campaign features celebrity supporters that we thought were long dead or had found joy in covert day jobs. Natalie from The Facts of Life, Lisa Turtle from Saved by the Bell, Tiffany who crooned "I Think We're Alone Now" and even the Soup Nazi band together to protect the kissing plant from further appropriation by brute force.
That's not all. Kevin at PR Blog divulges having seen a swamp-like creature that was actually supposed to be mistletoe, getting heckled by children at a nearby ice rink for love of the campaign. We wonder which sponsoring celebrity burn-out he happened to be. We put our money on The Incredible Hulk.
nudges us over to an odd ad
for a Mia Hamm interview about the twins in her tummy. The image gave us a somewhat disturbing mental picture of twin knee-sock-wearing socker players kicking like crazy in the leathery interior of their soccer ball mum. "These babies can kick!" says the cheery-as-hell 34-year-old legend.
Weird. But we're fond of Mia because she did those cute "anything you can do I can do better" ads with MJ before he got lame. So congrats on the pair! - Contributed by Angela Natividad