Blah blah, blah Lindsay Lohan blah, blah, blah Miu Miu blah blah blah Prada blah, blah, blah new ad campaign blah, blah, blah celebrity spokes-ho blah blah blah, recent GQ spread blah, blah, blah former Louis Vuitton spokesmodel blah, blah, blah gossip queen blah, blah, blah panty-challenged blah, blah, blah 2007 campaign launch blah, blah, blah...
Way back in the heady days of 1998 dot com mania, an account director friend who, as much as we did, loved to sling around pompously pointless marketing blather and marvel at the ability of other to, as well, say so much while saying so little thought we'd write a book gathering together all the inanity. We never did but "seven words you can't say on TV" comedian George Carlin created a 3:42 bit on the same topic. For 3:42, he hilariously strings together the pointless blather that not only marketers but all people fling out of their mouths without fully considering how stupid it sounds.
Take note. More than half of what comes out of your mouth in that client presentation is mindless, pointless, idiotic sounding, space-filling blather. Don't you want meetings to be shorter? Aren't you sick of fake words that mean nothing? Wouldn't you rather be actually creating something rather than killing it with the boatload of words you throw at it before you ever show it to the client? Of course you would. So stop talking like an idiot.
Yes, we are the first to bring you behind the scenes "stealth video" footage of Tiger Woods in a shoot for the soon to be released 2008 Buick Enclave. Our "insiders" leaked this very secretive video exclusively to Adrants only moments ago so you too could share in the glory of a spontaneous fart joke! It doesn't matter who took the Senate this week. Tiger Woods made a fart joke, "someone" videoed it and "someone" sent it to us hoping it might get some Lonelygirl15-like YouTube action.
We're not really sure what's happening here but from what we gather a company called WESC sells leather jackets you can wear while on a horse and raising hell in the city at night. Oh wait. That's a sport? That's horseshit. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Make the Logo Bigger points us to a new Benetton ad in which Madonna candidly poses with her three children, including the boy from Malawi whose dubious adoption she's actively campaigning to defend. But hey, we're willing to bet at least $1 that one has nothing to do with the other. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Ashlee Simpson, who seems to be morphing into some kind of plastic representation of her older sister Jessica, has hooked up with Skechers to launch a new line of footwear. During the launch announcement a few days a go, she said, "Skechers is brand that is not afraid to going the beyond. I look forward to representing Skechers clothing line; I also hope to add a few more pairs to my wardrobe," causing some to wonder if English is her first language. Whatever. She looks way better with blond hair and whatever facial/nasal adjustments she's had than her former I-Must-Look-Different-Than-Jessica look she forced upon us earlier.
Old hat at nipping at current events that rile people up, South Park works its boat-rocking magic in an October 25th episode featuring a smiling Steve Irwin, who shows up at Satan's Halloween party with a stingray hanging out of his chest.
In a spoof on Cribs, segment producer Jonah Rothelsberg appreciates fictional rapper P-Krunk's "unique taste" but "[a] rapper who doesn't capriciously spend all his money on cars and 100-inch plasmas is an anomaly that strains credibility." Seems hyping minivans just isn't Cribs-savvy.
We tried to come up with something further to say about this but Rothelsberg made all the jokes before we could. Guess that's what makes him the producer. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Nodding to the adage that no advertising is bad advertising, the Dixie Chicks are riding a torrent of criticism to promote their documentary "Shut Up and Sing." The campaign includes a Technorati-fed Myspace page created by Deep Focus claiming to be "the largest discussion of free speech the web has ever seen," which is funny because the comments are screened.
Deep Focus CEO Ian Schafer explains that all political views are represented on the site but "jibberish" or threats of violence get filtered out. That's logical. It's not like anybody is interested in hearing fringey deviant opinions anyway. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Well no, not really, unless you think vacuous infamy exerts the same social influence as political diplomacy.
She's actually going to appear in an Indian campaign to introduce a new fashion line from Anand Jon, an American fashion designer of Indian descent. Moving on, AdJab points out Hilton's music video was recently banned from Indian airwaves but her sex tape is still widely available for under $2. AdJab adds "I'm not sure what's more embarrassing, having your sex video available to the public or the fact that it costs less than a king size Snicker's bar."
Provocative point. We're sure it won't hurt her modeling career. It might even help. Don't models do dumb shit all the time? - Contributed by Angela Natividad