In early October we wrote an open letter to GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons suggesting he "retire breasts that don't bounce" meaning it's time for plastic-breasted Candice Michelle to go. Of the long-running campaign, we wrote, "It was mildly funny when she rubbed her boobs against the window while on that window washing scaffolding. But it's hardly funny at all to watch her run through sprinklers across a golf course while an old dude gawks 'Oh, the GoDaddy Girl!'"
While it's not clear whether Michelle is gone for good, a deal, in the works for a long time, with Andretti Green Racing IndyCar racing star Danica Patrick will become official tomorrow when Patrick is officially introduced as the new GoDaddy spokesperson at Victory Lane in Avondale Arizona. As part of the deal, GoDaddy is a sponsor of Andretti Green Racing.
During the event tomorrow, Parsons will interview the sleeker, highly-unlikely-to-bust-a-shirt-strap Patrick and it's expected he'll make his Super Bowl advertising plans known. With Patrick in the GoDaddy house, breasts will, apparently, take a back seat for a while.
Sucks when you launch big holiday promotion and your site tanks. That seems to be what's going on right now with Micrsoft's MSN Holiday Challenge, a celebity-filled contest in which people can watch videos to get clues to win $50K, $20K, $10K prizes and a grand prize of $100K. Al Roker, Kristin Cavallari, Jerry Rice and Perez Hilton (fame whore:-) ) will be on hand to deliver the clues. That is once the site actually works.
- Cynopsis reports, "ABC has slid The Nine into hiatus status. The Wednesday night 10p time period this week will be home to a special edition of 20/20. Elsewhere, in another schedule change, NBC will replace Friday Night Lights on Tuesdays at 8p beginning December 26 with a third weekly installment of Dateline NBC. NBC has ordered up a full season of Friday Night Lights, but at this point has not announced its new time period."
- Swarovski Crystal is taking advantage of Rockefeller Center Christmas treee anticipation with a giant scaffold wrap.
- Apparently those Times Square Charmin toilets were a hit with people waiting up to 45 minutes to offer their leave behinds.
- Kate Moss may pull out of her Agent Provocateur marketing deal because she's miffed company owner Serena Rees is dating Clash bassist Paul Simonon, former husband to Moss' best friend Tricia.
Blah blah, blah Lindsay Lohan blah, blah, blah Miu Miu blah blah blah Prada blah, blah, blah new ad campaign blah, blah, blah celebrity spokes-ho blah blah blah, recent GQ spread blah, blah, blah former Louis Vuitton spokesmodel blah, blah, blah gossip queen blah, blah, blah panty-challenged blah, blah, blah 2007 campaign launch blah, blah, blah...
Way back in the heady days of 1998 dot com mania, an account director friend who, as much as we did, loved to sling around pompously pointless marketing blather and marvel at the ability of other to, as well, say so much while saying so little thought we'd write a book gathering together all the inanity. We never did but "seven words you can't say on TV" comedian George Carlin created a 3:42 bit on the same topic. For 3:42, he hilariously strings together the pointless blather that not only marketers but all people fling out of their mouths without fully considering how stupid it sounds.
Take note. More than half of what comes out of your mouth in that client presentation is mindless, pointless, idiotic sounding, space-filling blather. Don't you want meetings to be shorter? Aren't you sick of fake words that mean nothing? Wouldn't you rather be actually creating something rather than killing it with the boatload of words you throw at it before you ever show it to the client? Of course you would. So stop talking like an idiot.
Yes, we are the first to bring you behind the scenes "stealth video" footage of Tiger Woods in a shoot for the soon to be released 2008 Buick Enclave. Our "insiders" leaked this very secretive video exclusively to Adrants only moments ago so you too could share in the glory of a spontaneous fart joke! It doesn't matter who took the Senate this week. Tiger Woods made a fart joke, "someone" videoed it and "someone" sent it to us hoping it might get some Lonelygirl15-like YouTube action.
We're not really sure what's happening here but from what we gather a company called WESC sells leather jackets you can wear while on a horse and raising hell in the city at night. Oh wait. That's a sport? That's horseshit. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Make the Logo Bigger points us to a new Benetton ad in which Madonna candidly poses with her three children, including the boy from Malawi whose dubious adoption she's actively campaigning to defend. But hey, we're willing to bet at least $1 that one has nothing to do with the other. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Ashlee Simpson, who seems to be morphing into some kind of plastic representation of her older sister Jessica, has hooked up with Skechers to launch a new line of footwear. During the launch announcement a few days a go, she said, "Skechers is brand that is not afraid to going the beyond. I look forward to representing Skechers clothing line; I also hope to add a few more pairs to my wardrobe," causing some to wonder if English is her first language. Whatever. She looks way better with blond hair and whatever facial/nasal adjustments she's had than her former I-Must-Look-Different-Than-Jessica look she forced upon us earlier.
Old hat at nipping at current events that rile people up, South Park works its boat-rocking magic in an October 25th episode featuring a smiling Steve Irwin, who shows up at Satan's Halloween party with a stingray hanging out of his chest.