With money to burn from Hanes, a scruffy guy called Dave -- who's clearly approaching midlife with misgivings -- is challenging celebrities to games like Rock Paper Scissors or wrestling. (Somewhat more entertaining than watching Sarah Chalke moan off a wedgie.)
Dave has so far lost challenges to Cuba Gooding, Jr., Reggie Bush and Nelly, among others. But he did win a Comfortsoft Pose-Off against Paris, who unwittingly forfeited the game when she just didn't bother to look at him twice.
We'll clarify. She looked at him once, then tore him to shreds with her stare and publicly forgot he existed. It was superhuman.
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Dove is using the (apparently) drama-rich life of Alicia Keys to appeal to women in their 20s. Dove Go Fresh and MTV give you "Fresh Takes," a heavily promoted series about three girlfriends figuring shit out while looking pretty (an acquired skill).
Hrm. Think Crossroads would've been better received if it was less about Britney Spears and more about pastel deodorants? Somebody at Camp Dove must have thought so.
To retain its position as the quilted ass-polisher of choice, Cottonelle has launched a campaign called "Be Kind to Your Behind."
See the TV spot and associated outdoor print.
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And boy does she need it. (Janice Dickinson fills us with dangerous emotions, mostly of rage and quiet angst.)
The ad was put together by BBDO and presented to us by an agency guy who finds the Orbit Gum campaign un-funny. Don't worry, man. We do too.
In this article, CNBC writer Darren Rovell uses convoluted logic to ask what consumers, in their childlike naivete, are supposed to extract from relationships between athletes and the brands that sponsor them. (And their trainers. And their trainers' websites.)
Here's the puzzle the column poses: say you're a kid, and you want to be the next LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson is part of Nike's SPARQ training program. He also wears Nikes on the field. But Todd Durkin, Tomlinson's trainer, has a website sponsored by Under Armour.
Assuming you're wack enough to think this will fundamentally alter your destiny, what do you BUY? Nike trainers or Under Armour's? The author's so stuck on this that he's even taking a poll. (Who would you follow: athlete or trainer?)
We'd laugh this whole thing off, because it really is ridiculous, but then we got to thinking. Do sponsored associations between people and products really mean something?
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Oh for fuck's sake! So a Governor had sex with a prostitute. Sex. He had sex. He didn't murder anyone, blow up a building or otherwise harm another person (as far as our limited knowledge of the man allows). He had sex. OK, he paid for it but it was still sex. Anyway, he's not Governor any more and has been endlessly shamed for his wrong doing. Rightly so, as many believe. If you don't know who we're talking about yet, you've been on another planet.
So leave it to a marketer to capitalize on the downfall of another by...offering money to place the image of Ashley Dupre/Youmans/DiPietro, the call girl that caused the downfall of the aforementioned Governor Eliot Spitzer, on the backs of buses to promote vodka. Yes, Georgi vodka wants to pay Dupre a low six figure sum to become the vodka brand's "butt girl."
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These are really, really bad! No, wait, these are really, really good! No wait....damn it, we're conflicted about this new DISH Network work sent to us from Fueld (yes, that's spelled correctly) Films. In the three commercials, comedian Frank Caliendo takes on the personas of Al Pacino, Donald Trump and George Bush. He does a fairly good job but we're not sure these commercials sold us anything.
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- On the outs with Nicole Richie for some time, Pars Hilton wants a new BFF and MTV has launched a new reality show to help her find one.
- DDB Barcelona brings out hand string games to somehow illustrate how its cars are built. We sure hope they're made of something stringer than string.
- Ziff Davis Media, publisher of PC Magazine among others, filed for bankruptcy citing falling print ad revenue and subscriptions as the reason.
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- The Art Director's Club is holding its 6th annual Young Guns Awards. Call for entries opens April 3 and the judges consist of previous Young Guns winners.
- The Facebook application My Perfect Bedroom, created by TAMBA, lets you sex up your virtual bedroom...for you graduates of Disney's Webkinz.
- Have a little fun with the Extensis Typematching game where you can determine which typeface you are and match yourself to other typefaced (damn, there's a creative social network in that name somewhere!) people.
- Today, everyone's talking about Christvertising. We mentioned it back in December. Come on people!
- Now this billboard promoting New Zealand's premiere of American Psycho with an image of George Bush is just funny.
- HP? Goodby, Silverstein & Partners? McGarryBowen? A new CMO? Now that's a recipe for some gossip.
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- Those Argentinians sure know how to orchestrate a big ass car commercial. apparently it took a crew of 170. Hmm. CGI sounds cheaper.
- Our favorite political pundit, Obama Girl, has been named by E! as the "#1 Hottest Woman on the Internet."
- Advertising Anarchy didn't like the "Bud Light" hottie on the poster in the Dell Lounge at SXSW.
- Don't miss the world's worst small business ad. Or is it the world's greatest viral for YouTube...or somebody.
- AOL is buying social networking site Bebo for $850 million. Damn! That's a steal compared to overly bloated Facebook :-)
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