Speaking of people who might off you with a grin, Martin Scorsese joined MySpace and now my homepage is splattered with banner ads that read "MARTIN SCORSESE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!"
Tough to reject the guy who pimped Jodie and fed mobsters their lines for a whole generation. Plus, he has such an earnest smile. Almost like he wants to feed you cookies while peeling off your skin.
Here's a Ryan Iverson parody of Dennis Hopper's Ameriprise ads -- which were creepy to begin with.
Seems like it was just a matter of time before this guy got spoofed. Something about his choice of sunglasses and the way he touches index finger to thumb while talking. Plus, he does kinda vibe like he wouldn't mind killing you.
Whomever is responsible for buying Disney's online media is - or soon will be - getting an irate phone call from Mickey. Again.
Last Fall, some contextually placed Disney ads appeared in a webcam video of "Andrea" fondling her breasts. Now, a series of banner ads are appearing on celebu-porn site Egotastic next to Keeley Hazell covering her breasts, images from a Kristen Davis "sex tape," images from a Lindsay Lohan sex tape, Denise Richards displaying her crotch and more. Screenshots are here. No nudity per se but possibly NSFW.
That tangle of head and hair spilling out of a corset is Fergie posing for Mac's VIVA GLAM campaign, which sells lip gloss to fight AIDS.
Fergie remixed her Glamorous single for the VIVA GLAM VI Special Edition Lipglass, joining spokeswomen like Eve and Dita von Teese to combat AIDS with vanity (which, unlike the compulsion to love thy neighbor, is irresistible). Download the song, watch video footage or send safe sex e-cards from the Mac Cosmetics site.
Advertising Age says 100 percent of proceeds for the $14 lip veneer will go to the MAC AIDS Fund. Considering the thought of Fergie hashing out her (safe!!!) sex life makes us grimace in a way that scares small children, we'd hope for no less. Bravo, MAC.
Circus is this brilliant boomer lifestyle magazine that describes itself like this:
"Debate, discussion and controversy. Let's talk about the over 50s."
The third page of its February issue featured this gorgeous image of Sophia Loren perched just above the lower margin, drawing plenty of attention to the articles around her (mainly because we were scouring the text going "Who is that girl?!").
We also got to check out the magazine. It includes raunchy boomer poetry, sex and business talk, and spiffy little featurettes like The Ad that Never Ran. (Think Thatcher and Scottish oil. Feeling greasy?)
Anyway, it's refreshing to see a senior publication that's not splattered with AARP messages and bladder control ads. It also looks like an awesome resource for boomer culture.
Here's to hoping they're still around when we're pushing 50 and looking for saucy reading material.
With money to burn from Hanes, a scruffy guy called Dave -- who's clearly approaching midlife with misgivings -- is challenging celebrities to games like Rock Paper Scissors or wrestling. (Somewhat more entertaining than watching Sarah Chalke moan off a wedgie.)
Dave has so far lost challenges to Cuba Gooding, Jr., Reggie Bush and Nelly, among others. But he did win a Comfortsoft Pose-Off against Paris, who unwittingly forfeited the game when she just didn't bother to look at him twice.
We'll clarify. She looked at him once, then tore him to shreds with her stare and publicly forgot he existed. It was superhuman.
Dove is using the (apparently) drama-rich life of Alicia Keys to appeal to women in their 20s. Dove Go Fresh and MTV give you "Fresh Takes," a heavily promoted series about three girlfriends figuring shit out while looking pretty (an acquired skill).
Hrm. Think Crossroads would've been better received if it was less about Britney Spears and more about pastel deodorants? Somebody at Camp Dove must have thought so.
To retain its position as the quilted ass-polisher of choice, Cottonelle has launched a campaign called "Be Kind to Your Behind."
See the TV spot and associated outdoor print.
And boy does she need it. (Janice Dickinson fills us with dangerous emotions, mostly of rage and quiet angst.)
The ad was put together by BBDO and presented to us by an agency guy who finds the Orbit Gum campaign un-funny. Don't worry, man. We do too.
In this article, CNBC writer Darren Rovell uses convoluted logic to ask what consumers, in their childlike naivete, are supposed to extract from relationships between athletes and the brands that sponsor them. (And their trainers. And their trainers' websites.)
Here's the puzzle the column poses: say you're a kid, and you want to be the next LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson is part of Nike's SPARQ training program. He also wears Nikes on the field. But Todd Durkin, Tomlinson's trainer, has a website sponsored by Under Armour.
Assuming you're wack enough to think this will fundamentally alter your destiny, what do you BUY? Nike trainers or Under Armour's? The author's so stuck on this that he's even taking a poll. (Who would you follow: athlete or trainer?)
We'd laugh this whole thing off, because it really is ridiculous, but then we got to thinking. Do sponsored associations between people and products really mean something?