Photogasmic Diesel Commercial Makes Fantasy A Reality

It's well know Diesel does some weird/interesting/racy/bad advertising. They did that global warming thing. They did that two-hotties-in-a-room-S&M thing. They did that Aarif Smaks dance instructor thing. Now Diesel offers up some photogasmic "fuel for life" for, well, its Fuel for Life line of fragrance for women.

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You Can Climb Snow-Capped Peaks With Timberlands. Seriously

Um, right. And we're supposed to believe a simple pair of Timberland sneakers can somehow enable us to climb to the top of a multi-thousand foot, snow-capped peak? With out any climbing gear at all? Oh wait, this is an ad. Of course you can climb to the top of a snow-capped peak with a pair of sneakers because, well, it's all about the apparent fact "everyone dreams of standing on a podium."

WTFvertising Used to Get Kids Off Tobacco

Three high school kids stand at the side of a track. One pulls out some chewing tobacco, then everyone's attention is captured by a rabbit with antlers. Bad taxonomy job? The creature spits tobacco out on the kids, everybody goes "Daaaang," suddenly somebody's missing a front tooth, and the moral is, don't chew tobacco.

"Dip. It can make your teeth fall out!"

By EnviroMedia for Spit It Out Texas. I don't get it. Off-topic, anti-tobacco ads -- no matter how disgusting -- always make me nostalgic for Big League Chew.

Anti-Alltel Sales Guys Bitch About Sharing Lemonade

Alltel's goofy carrier geeks return for another appearance in which they regress to children while continuing to argue about the merits of sharing.

In the commercial, the geek squad, while children, call Chad a ding dong for letting people share the lemonade he sells. Fade to the present: they still think Chad's a ding ding for letting people share Alltel minutes. It's all so very Stand By Me.

Sanjaya Gets Good Advice From Nationwide Insurance

OK so here it is. And it's nowhere near as good as the Kevin Federline version. Yes, it's the Sanjaya Malakar version of the ongoing "you're a has been" Nationwide Insurance ad campaign. In the Malakar version, Sanjaya travels to India to seek advice from the Gurucci (sp?). Hmm. Is that like some sort of inside joke? A mashup up Guru and Gucci?

Anyway, the Gurucci's advice couldn't be more perfect. When Sanjaya asks what the most important thing is in life, Gurucci replies, "A good retirement plan...and a hair cut."

Put a Little Zappos in Your Day!

This Zappos spot, where a smiling courier hand-delivers a little bit of happy to customers in a small neighborhood, is infectiously charming.

I like how it brings the brand offline and makes it feel down-home and local: it's your friendly online shoe conglomerate! This approach would ring disingenuous for most internet giants, but Zappos has a coupla things going for it:

1) Getting a package in the mail gives people warm tinglies.

2) Its service really is just that good. The first time I placed an order with Zappos, the shoes didn't fit, and they sent a replacement pair even before I returned the old ones. "Just drop them in the mailbox whenever you can," the rep said (I could hear him smiling!), and boy did that feel nice. Cartwheel-nice, even.

Read more about Zappos' ad efforts riiiiiiiight here.

Plaid Reminisces, Anna Makes a Comeback, Google Minus Google

- It's the best of this year's Plaid Nation tour! Diggin' the chick who says plaid is God's favorite color.

- Anna Kournikova's still around. I like how her Maxim bio reads, "Before simply being superhot, Anna was a superhot tennis player." Put "simply being superhot" on your resume next time you get shafted, then see who throws sponsorship money at you.

- Naked guy runs across America.

- Last Visa "Go World" spot by TBWA/Chiat/Day. Michael Phelps: he keeps going and going and going and going...

- Check out Google minus Google. Running a search without getting results from YouTube, Blogger, or Knol feels sort of ... fresh.

Berry-Stained Stoli Invades the States from Mother Russia

Imagine if the Coke Happiness Factory got hijacked by dancing Reds that prefer fruity vodka to sugar water. You're probably picturing "Airship," the latest spot for Stoli Blakberi, put together by Publicis/London and production company Stink/Psyop. Music by Prokofiev.

Part of what keeps me drinking Stoli is unwavering affection for its advertising. On TV or in print, it's always got the same feel: over-the-top, cartoony, propagandistic. Disney's "It's a Small World After All" meets the hoarse ballads and frosty grit of Moscow.

Stoli is a proud, heavy-handed romantic, and taking a swig is like surrendering to history: the beautifying dizziness, concrete on your lips, bile in your throat. It's a suffering, and a brand, baptized in nostalgia.

Lots of Words, and Something About a Pony.

The other day I was complaining -- or was it more like bitching? -- about how all car ads seem pretty much the same. (If not "the same," then "zealously derivative.") Then Organic busts out with this really weird ad for the Chrysler Town & Country.

It's all words. The narrator's telling this bizarre story, then the words appear in front of you, so you get this tiring but riveting experience of seeing and hearing crunchy nouns like "pocket pony" and "crabapples" at the same time. (Don't ask, just watch.)

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I Won't Buy a Chevy, but Indentured Servitude Sounds Nice

Here's that Chevy Traverse ad that keeps playing during the Olympics. I sat through it twice yesterday and didn't really get the correlation between Shirtless Man Lovingly Laundering and Chevy Traverse with Folding Seats.

Twitter's not keen on it either.

Fortunately, there's YouTube. Scroll down to the comments. Past all the complaining about double standards and whatnot, someone explains that both the man and the Traverse are "beautiful, useful, and everything you ever wanted ... and them [sic] some."

Ohhhhh. Suddenly the tagline makes sense.