Guitar Hero Goes on Tour.

And they're bringing jetpacks.

Meh. I'm not sure what definitively killed this ad for me: the retro lightning effects, the radioactive squirrel ("Go forth and ROCK!"), or the sabre tooth tiger that doubled as a magic carpet.

Put together by Bent Image Labs for DDB, LA.

Danish Cancer Commercial Uplifts But Steals Happy Ending

It's really too bad this Danish Cancer Society commercial has such a ridiculously lame ending because, well, until that lame ending, it's really quite excitingly uplifting to watch.

Mr. T Eradicates World of Goofy Speedwalkers

Uh oh. The cause group for...speedwalkers is going to get their jockstraps in a twist over this new AMV BBDO-created Get Some Nuts commercial (higher quality Quicktime here) for Snickers in which Mr. T, atop a Mad Max-style pick up truck, shoots Snicker bars at a speedwalker using a Gatling gun. While hurling bars at the walker, Mr. T lets lose his usual "I pity the fool" tirade telling the walker he's a "disgrace to the man race" and that it's time to "run like a real man."

While most would prefer to rid the streets of these goofy walkers for fear they will unduly influence their children into adopting the goofiness that is speedwalking, it won't be surprising if some speedwalking fanatics make their way to Mars headquarters and slingshot, en mass, their jockstraps at the building pummeling executives into submission.

Hottie Carrie Underwood Makes Men Want to be Small

The men in this Vitamin Water commercial featuring country singer Carrie Underwood are so enamored with her ability to horse whisper sweet nothings to small things, they all want to be...miniature. Not exactly the way most men think but for those not so fortunate men who are on the miniature side of things, they are, no doubt, plenty pleased the very desirable Carrie Underwood has a thing for...small things.

Truth Campaign Continues Broadway Musical-Style Idiocy

It's getting really painful to write about the Truth campaign. It's become so horrifically bad, it makes one want to digitize one's hand, shove it deep inside the internets until it finds the neck of the entity that created this horror show, squeeze really really hard and put the entity out of its misery. You know who you are Arnold and CPB people! Do you seriously believe this stuff is any good? Damn, it makes one wish you'd bring Derek Beckles back!

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Dr. Scholl's: The Insole of Choice for the Table Dancer In You!

In addition to an out-of-control Yaya DaCosta (the smart one from America's Next Top Model), this Dr. Scholl's spot sports dancing insoles and a shadow that never found its Peter Pan.

How far we've come from Papa's trusty, slightly soggy shoe inserts.

Tip o' the noggin to MultiCultClassics.

Scuba Diving Kitty Explained by HowStuffWorks

Just what is it with those Japanese who use guards to cram people into trains or those people with seemingly endless amounts of time on their hands with nothing better to do than...take their cat scuba diving? While these two new commercials for HowStuffWorks can't promise the site will explain why people do the strange things they do but they can definitely tell you how.

The campaign, created by Preston Kelly Inc. is a first for the site which was recently acquired by Discovery Communications six months ago.

When Life Gets You Down, A Heineken and Two Words Save the Day

With but two words, this commercial for Heineken which involves the beverage saving a man from committing suicide wastes no time illustrating the power a good beer has in times of need. It's like copy-based white space. Why say more than you have to? And this commercial doesn't.

And for all you suicide prevention cause group types ... IT'S JUST A COMMERCIAL!

Dove Slaughters a Perfectly Good Queen and Bowie Song

Under Pressure, little more than transparent hype for Dove's self esteem fund ("You support our efforts every time you buy Dove!"), is probably the weakest of its Ogilvy-manufactured Real Women series. The parts that aren't naked promotion look cobbled together from scraps of Onslaught.

The spot follows up from Amy, the lonesome story about a lovestruck boy who doesn't understand why his girlfriend hates herself so much; and Hair, one woman's pursuit of gorgeosity via shoe polish and peroxide. It kinda brings Requiem for a Dream to mind, except it's missing "ass to ass!"

'Goodfellas,' 'Peanuts' Used to Promote...

Goodfellas Peanuts!

You will smirk until the last Peanuty-tense moment.