Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books that pretty much let you decide whether you'd die two, or twenty, pages into the story? Visit Twix.com for a grown-man version of the game. You won't get to ride any unicorns, but if you're lucky, you might get to ride something else.
The adventure is called "Get the Girl." The protagonist convinces a girl to come home with him by inviting her over to blog about the media. (That gets me every time.) But there are obstacles! Mull your options over with Twix. (Helpful hint: at the very end, pick "Be honest." You'll dig what happens.)
Accompanying spot: "Oh, blogging! I love blogging!"
Oh look! Trojan really does care how women feel during sex. Oh sure, they make all kinds of ribbed condoms and stuff but if a lady's man can't last long enough for all that ribbed goodness to do its thing, it's all kind of pointless. Enter Trojan Vibrating Touch, a battery-powered finger widget that delivers...um...personalized pleasure and is pretty much guaranteed to last as long as it takes...unlike the aforementioned male-powered method of stimulation.
Guy wants Drumstick. Girl wants Rolo Chocolate Cone. Other girl wants Arrow Chocolate Cone. Guy still wants Drumstick. Guy becomes drumstick. Girls eat him. Guy says, "easy on the nuts." What's not to love?
Check out The Giant by agency Les Ouvriers du Paradis, possibly the most charming bathroom fairy tale ever. You don't have to speak French to infer why Lotus' Just 1 is the toilet paper of choice for mythically large men.
It's so absorbent, you'll only need one sheet! That's the kind of claim that titillates T.P. abusers like me. (I like to yank generously. It's a habit I'm trying to break.)
I want to argue the spot's more logical in the manner of its pitch than Charmin's squeeze-fetish Whipple spots, but that argument fell to pieces when the giant made with the elongated Lotus-fondling.
Yup, it seems the Verizon Dumb Dad is still alive and well. In this commercial for the Motorola Q9, a doofus idiot who's texting while walking down his neighborhood sidewalk, bumps into some pipes and forgets who he is. Well, thanks to the Moto Q 9c, he can look himself up and search for directions to his house where, upon arrival, his wife (one assumes), screams, "get out!", to which loser Verizon Dumb Dad responds, "That voice. Now I remember."
The only reason Verizon gets away with this shit is a.) they are the best network and can do whatever the hell they want and b.) the pendulum hasn't yet swung back to where it's cool to make women look like the air headed refrigerator models they once were.
Nothing warms the heart like the sight of a kid schooling his parents on the importance of travel insurance.
Also see Did you have a nightmare?: "Dents are easy to fix, but liability's the nightmare! Ah, don't get up. I'll tuck myself in." I kinda want to hug him. Or buy him a graphing calculator.
You know what would be awesome? If this kid and the Umpqua lemonaire got together and built the ultimate risk-free lemonade stand, equipped with biodegradable paper cups (to appease the environmentalists) and curved corners for child safety.
Created by Goodby, Silverstein & Partners and directed by Biscuit's Noam Murro, Comcast has ditched the Slowsky turrtles in favor of some hyped up, freaked out, genetically fucked with rabbit with jet turbines strapped on its back driven by an over-caffeinated kook all to,...ya know...illustrate how fast Comcast internet is. I like.
Hmm. Nothing like a good tube of Crest to gloss over the travesty of modernization at the cost of childhood play. Yes, Crest can, in fact, make even the destruction of a playground in favor of a power plant seem, well, pleasant.
Here's another. This one makes even lice seem like a good thing.
In "School," a Greenpeace ad by DDB/Paris, a teacher poses this question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Her students' responses are laced with guilt-inducing grownup undercurrents: climate worries, health concerns and capitalist gusto conceived in ecological exploitation. Fascinating.
Take Back the Tour -- not to be confused with Take Back the Night, though it wishes to be taken just as seriously -- is a movement that aims to "champion [Tour de France] riders who compete clean, while giving a platform ... to [their] passionate fan base."
More to the point, it reminds bike junkies that VERSUS (the sponsor!) is "the exclusive cable television home of the Tour de France."
"Show me another sport that's as tough, as demanding and as epic in its grandeur, grit and beauty than the Tour de France, but it's a competition that has seemingly lost its way over the past few years," said SVP Bill Bergofin of Marketing and Promotions for VERSUS. "[This] campaign ... will provoke a dialogue ... which will hopefully help to restore the Tour to its glory."