Bridgestone Fails to Dazzle, Pays God-Knows-What for Alice Cooper and Richard Simmons

Don't get us wrong. Richard Simmons impressions are funny. Richard Simmons in the flesh is funnier still. How Bridgestone fucked up the formula we don't know, but we're guessing it probably had something to do with the mild shock we experienced from the squirrel ad, which it featured first.

Oh yeah, Alice Cooper's in this ad too.

CareerBuilder Kills Off Sleepy Ideals with Reality's Spider

We dug this Career Builder ad where a Jiminy Cricket-type character brings inspiration to a despondent white collar grunt -- then gets eaten by a spider. Looks like CB's learned how to make good use of irony for its new slogan: "Start building." We thought it would be a lamer campaign than it's turning out to be.

Way better than the cheesy high-intensity office-as-jungle thing they were doing last year. And hey, you can't go wrong with maul-by-spider. LOTR did it, and so did Steven King in It.

Dwayne Wade, Charles Barkley Fail to Excite For T-Mobile

It's not always a good thing to be in someone's T-mobile Fave 5 as Dwayne Wade soon finds out after finally getting Charles Barkley to put him into his Fave5. Sometimes it's just better to be unreachable. The storyline is humorous enough but, for us, it just fell a bit flat. It lacked something. We're not sure what but it just didn't hold the attention like Justin Timberlake did in his Pepsi Stiff commercial.

Angela: "Barkley's getting fat."

Lizards, Naomi Campbell Get Thrillicious For Sobe Life Water

We saw the teaser. We saw the lizard telling his parents he'd be staring in a Super Bowl commercial with Naomi Campbell. Well, this is the result and we like it a lot. We like the effects, the production value, the creativity, the interaction between Naomi and the lizards. Oh, and then there's Michael Jackson's Thriller, a reminder he once was almost normal. Nice job, BBDO. See the commercial here.

Talking Stain Ruins Interview. Tide Comes to the Rescue

Now this Tide commercial is one you just love to watch over and over. In an interview, a man who is attempting to explain why he is the right guy for the job, is distracted, as is his interviewer, by a nasty stain on his shirt...that talks when he tries to talk. Get it? Distracting stains? Distracting noises? In other words, it's best to use Tide to remove your stains before you head to an interview.

We like this commercial. We like it a lot. It drives home the point (with a sledgehammer) that a stain is very distracting and can affect your daily life in a bad way.

Pigeons Destroy City, FedEx Far Smarter Choice for Delivery

So now we know using FedEx is a far wiser delivery solution tha carrier pigeons. In FedEx's Super Bowl spot, we have an underling discussing the use of pigeons as a method of delivery., All seems well until we look outside and see pigeons reeking havoc attempting to make deliveries. The boss say, "We better stick with FedEx.

There's a lot of drama in the ad. Crashing windows. Cars being mangled. When that;s coupled with the calm demeanor of the boss and his employee, it makes for interesting viewing.

Kina Grannis Wins Doritos CGM Contest

OK, Doritos. For a minute there I didn't know I was watching a commercial. Some sizzling sound effect with messages we didn't quote catch. The some girl starts singing about...Bum??? Bum, bum, bum. Huh? So I guess this is the chick that won the CGM contest. Kina Grannis is her name and you can hear her song on the Doritos site.

Visually Stunning Under Armour Commercial Delivers Confusing Message

This Under Armour commercial is visually stunning, wonderfully created, beautifully shot. Amazingly colored. However, as we started intently at it, we soon realized we had no idea what it was trying to tell us. Oh sure, Under Armour is the uniform of those who will lead in the future but when a 300-style dude stands atop a crowd and shouts, "The Future is Ours!" you can't really help but laugh. Well, at least we did. View the commercial here.

Ford F-150 Gets Its Swing On

Well now here's something different. A truck at that doesn't show the vehicle pulling something but rather illustrates its strength by showing how much stress it can take on a centrifuge machine. We suppose it gets the point across. Though we're guessing it was a lot more fun to shoot the thing than to watch it of television.

Super Bowl Ad Orgy Kicks Off with Focus, iPhone Ripoff

Here we go, starting with the outdated-hipster head-bobbing for Ford Focus and Verizon's wannabe iPhone. (Stacking 'em up, knocking 'em down like Dominos? Yeah, nobody's ever done that before.)

The tail-end of the pre-game ads are followed by a bunch of meatheads carefully pronouncing "Resiliency" (phonetic pronunciation in the background and everything). This kicks off the game.

Foreplay foreplay foreplay. Give kickoff already!