Petco Goodies Give Peppy Pets (Possibly Too Much) More Energy

We can't even count the number of times we've been dragged to some canine haven by an overzealous pet, so this new ad by Petco, brought to us by good old Brentter, definitely struck a sappy chord.

We were jarred back into reality by the voice and branding message at the end, though. It just didn't jive well. The guy sounded like a hard-boiled narrator for an energy drink - you know, like this, except ever so slightly less intense.

That bold-ass font didn't help matters either.

Levi's Targets Gay Community with Equal-Opportunity Ad Production

Advertising Age drew some attention to an effort by Levi's to strengthen its clout in the gay community by producing an ad twice - once for the straight community, and once for the gay one. The gay one ran exclusively on MTV's Logo network (which, unless it branches out, sounds like it's probably getting less play than the hetero version).

As always with Levi's the production is clean but the concept is wrongfully credited for being the first to do the gay/straight coin toss with human beings.

Orbitz, noted by Ad Age for having done this with marionettes, also produced a set of thematically gay and straight ads with human beings.

Oops.

All-Bran Helps You Drop A Load

Magnificently magnifying metaphors, this recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg has no problem touting its ability to aid one in shitting a brick. Or two. Or an entire dump truck load. Yes, the spot is jam packed with endless bowel movement metaphors. Enjoy.

Smirnoff's Multifaceted Purity Message Makes Powerful Statements

With not so subtle environmental and political commentary, this new JWT London-created commercial for Smirnoff - sent to us by Adrants reader Scamp - just blows away any recent liquor ad - or any ad, for that matter - we've seen in a long time. With amazing special effects and bone-chilling Soviet-style music, the sea rebels against man's carelessness and penchant for war mongering by eradicating itself of human byproduct to illustrate Smirnoff's "extraordinary purification" and deliver its "Clearly Smirnoff" tagline.

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Microsoft Zune Distracts from Crappy Product with Emo Ad

This ad for the Microsoft Zune (you must be like, Why are they making new commercials for that?), which AdFreak has dubbed the indie Peter Pan tribute, is a pretty but otherwise fairly pointless experience.

Moonlit ET-style silhouettes aside, the ad would probably suit better for Polaroid, considering there's actually an insta-cam featured between the lovebirds. But considering how hard Polaroid's rolling these days, the spot may ring too sappy for the hard-partying camera execs.

The Perfect Husband Isn't Always Who He Seems

We have no idea who made this Postbank commercial or when it was made and we don't care. We just like it. So we'll thank Adrants reader Rick Bruner for sending it to us and offer up one piece of advice: don't leave for cell phone laying about unless you want to be the butt of a very expensive prank.

But Alltel, Wireless Guys Aren't Geeky; They Wear Pomade, Like You

Brentter was recently sent the latest iteration of the Alltel Wireless ad series, which improves upon the earlier set by adding more geektacularity to the personalities of its wireless competitors.

We agree that the new series is better (the "we could learn to be archers" reference in this acknowledges films-gone-geeky like Lord of the Rings and Napoleon Dynamite), and the campaign's definitely drawn the roving eyes of friends seeking to change wireless plans.

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Smirnoff Taps Pure Spring Water, Alcohol For Source

When we first started watching this JWT-created, Koichiro Tsujikawa-directed commercial, we thought we were watching one of those $40 per bottle spring water ads but no. It's an ad for Smirnoff's new Source vodka (well, sort-of vodka in that light, wine-cooler sort of way) which touts its key ingredients, alcohol and pure spring water. Well its nice to know Smirnoff is making a vodka that's made with nice clean crisp water but what about all the rest of their vodkas and flavored goodies? What the hell are they made out of? New York City tap water? Nice commercial but all it's done is made us wonder wonder whether or not we should ever buy another Smirnoff product...since, apparently, they're just made with plain old dirty tap water.

Under Armour Taps the Boom Boom

We missed the July 15 launch of Under Armour's Boom Boom Tap, it's new commercial targeting the young female athlete they like to call the "team girl." With Boom Boom Tap, Under Armor hopes to see similar success it saw with Click Clack, the marketing slogan for its football cleats which netted the company a 20 percent share of the market.

Focusing on the aspect of team play, the commercial, rather than focusing on a single sport, focuses on soccer, field hockey, softball, hockey and lacrosse. The Boom Boom Tap part of the commercial was born from the sound made during a huddle break. What? Were you expecting some lame-ass, less-than-witty commentary on boom boom tapping? Not this time.

You Mean Ads Can't Stretch the Truth?

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has just burrowed into L'Oreal's ass for the use of false eyelashes in an ad for its Telescopic Mascara, a product that promises to make your lashes "up to 60 percent longer."

The ad features Penelope Cruz, who sported the illicit hairs. According to the ASA, the ad should have made it clear that the actress was wearing falsies. L'Oreal claims this is "common industry practice" - just as, we imagine, all of these conventions are.

Since when are we playing Nazi to the (unrealistic?) appearance of stars in ads? If we're going to unleash the dogs, maybe we should first address the copy writers that come up with lines like, "Imagine, lashes that could reach for the stars."