Victoria's Secret is out with its new Miraculous push up bra commercial which claims to add two cup sizes to any woman who buys one. We once worked with a woman who, shall we ever so politely say, was flat. But that never stopped her from going to freakishly painful looking efforts to squeeze together what little flesh she had on her chest into what she perceived to be attractive cleavage. All it did was make her look like she was wearing a rubber band around her chest.
It's all about size, people. Thirteen inch erections and DDD cup breasts. Much like food, many people go to extreme efforts to super-size various parts of their body in an effort to adhere to the impossible standards we've place on what constitutes looking good.
If you have huge boobs, be pleased with them. If you have small boobs, be pleased with them. Get over the obsessive urge to super-size.
Wait, what? Did we just say that? Who doesn't love big breasts? Not Victoria's Secret which, as it has many times before, is hyping a new push up bra. This one claims to add two cup sizes to what you've already got.
And the bra is available available in DD cup size. So if you're already big, you can be even bigger. See? Isn't America great? We like everything bigger. And Victoria's Secret is here to help.
As we continue to digitize everything in our lives, we need to remember not everything is meant to be digitized. And that's the point Tinsley is making in this new commercial for The Florida Keys. In the commercial, we see the usual finger flip action sliding us from one beautiful photo to another while an announcer reminds us, "There's no app for this."
He's right. There is no app for a great tropical vacation so put down that iPhone and enjoy, people!
OK. If you can. Picture yourself in front of a fire. On the floor. With your lover. In the seventies. Laying on a shag carpet. Next to a lava lamp. Under a smiley face poster. With Barry White crooning in the background.
Got it? Good. Now watch this video which celebrates the tenth birthday of Viagra, something that wasn't even envisioned anytime during the entire decade.
If you're going to advertise a product that helps you tighten our ass and make your legs look great, you might as well highlight the results of using that product, right? That's exactly what DDB Chicago did for Reebok in a new commercial.
In the ad, a woman talk about the features of the show and how they can "make your legs and butt look great too." The camera operator, who clearly notices the woman's ass an legs have benefited from the shoes, thinks the results should be highlighted and zooms in on her assets.
While the woman isn't miffed at all by the camera's leer, she has to admonish the operator for an overactive use of the camera's zoom lens.
When you sit down in front of your computer, do you suddenly feel like you're being assaulted with images of the intensity of life? The wonder and glory it brings? The passion and desire it creates? Do you feel like your every sense is being given it most intense workout?
Perhaps you will after you view this new Latin America-focused Sony Vaio commercial from El Segundo-based Ignited. In the commercial, we are asked, What if technology could make you feel more human?" We are then pummeled with imagery Dove Onslaught-style. But the imagery is "good" imagery. The things we want to feel and experience.
- And, yea, there was that whole KFC Colonel Sanders thing at the UN. Everyone's freaking out over the supposed security lapse. Or the stupidity of security guards who must have thought the Colonel was an actual delegate of some country called KFC.
- Something about a snake and Sigourney Weaver.
- This is kind of sad. Sometimes you just want to remember someone in their prime. Not when they should really be sitting on a porch somewhere peacefully enjoying the fact they had a good run.
Rebuilt. Resurrect. Relentless. Recharged. Regroup. Rectify. Reboot. Rewrite. Revolt. Recapture. Revitalized. Restart. Reunite. Reemerge. Refresh. Renew. Repossess. Revenge. Respect. Rearrange. Reactivate. Remedy. Reawaken. Reconcile. Reborn. Redemption. Reaffirm. Reinvent. Rejuvinated. Replenish. Rejoice. Rekindle. Recommit. Reclaim. Revamp. Renewal. Reloaded.
We know we missed a few. See if you can catch them.
- Check out Tweeagle, "a real-time collection of the dirtiest words and wordsmiths on twitter."
- OMG! MINI has "entered a new era of the brand's social media marketing" with...a MINI Facebook page! OMFG! Can you believe it?
- The Meijer Headless Horseman is making his way through Chicago, Indianapolis, Cincinnati and Columbus.
- Into jiggling boobs? Uh, man boobs that is. Then you'll love this Identity Guard commercial.
Admit it. You've done it. At least once. You've walked into a glass door thinking it was open. Yea, you know you have. Fess up. But the real question is, how did you save yourself from the embarrassment of having made such an idiotic move?
Well if you drink Fanta and you're an uber cool cartoon hipster, you become a mime and mime your way out of the debacle. Really. It's that easy. Just watch.
Ogilvy & Mather created. Psyop produced.
When Heather Graham hit the scene in Drugstore Cowboy and then again on Twin Peaks, we were, well, peaked. While we're not quite sure what appearing in a MoveOn commercial hyping a public health insurance option will do for her career, we are very sure she - and all of her hot, blond curvaceousness - has caught the eye of the very bloated, for-profit insurance companies.
As they all stand at the starting line of a race in which they don't need to compete (after all, why exert any energy when complacency works just fine), Heather, and all of her hot, blond curvaceousness, approaches the starting line as a representative of the public health insurance option and gets set to beat the crap out of all the other bloated insurance companies.
All while Peter Coyote (President on Flash Forward!) pleads for us all to contact congress and tell our representatives we need that public health insurance option.