Back in June, we noted The Hills babe Audrina Patridge would soon make her debut in a Carl's Jr. commercial. That day has arrived. In the commercial, we get to hear how Audrina has to give up "like everything" to look as hot as she does in a bikini. But the one thing she won't give up is the Carl's Jr. Teriyaki Burger with which she's "totally obsessed" and cuz, ya know, she has to be "a little bad."
While Barbara Lippert says she "appreciate(s) that it's a somewhat more natural setup than having Paris Hilton hose down a luxury car while sucking and licking the burger on all fours," we still think the Paris Hilton spot was the best Carl's Jr. commercial ever. Bikini + soapy water + famous socialite in her prime = gold.
- Boobs too big? Trouble sleeping while their spilling all over the place? Kush has the answer to that weighty issue.
- Want to watch the world's worst commercial? Here it is.
- ScratchIT. Go ahead. Scratch it. Really. Microsoft wants you to scratch it. S go on. Give it a scratch.
- Creative production company Stardust Studios is out with a new website. Founder/CD Jake Banks said, "Compared with our previous version, this site focuses more on movement and functionality, and aims to give visitors a unique visual experience that will heighten the creativity in each spot we present."
- Black Eyes Peas promote their new album...only at Target. Sell out? Just the way of things?
- BK's Super Seven Incher gets a blow job.
Do you love your mobile phone? The woman in this Nokia commercial does. So much so, she'll do the Titanic-style underwater save...leaving her boyfriend to return as...Jaws? Yes. This Russian (?) commercial has it all. Dancing. Flirting. Hot guy. Hot girl. Hot ass. Photoplay. Facebook! And, oops, a drowning.
We could use a little Scientology right now. After all, according to the church's new commercial, "you are not your name, you're not your job, you're not the clothes you wear or the neighborhood you live in. You're not your fears, your failures or your past."
And there's more. "You are hope. You are imagination. You are the power to change, to create and to grow. You are a spirit that will never die. And no matter how beaten down, you will rise again."
Wouldn't it be nice to cast off the irrelevant, supposedly unimportant, aspects of your life - all that heavy baggage that drags you down - and just start over anew with hope, imagination and "the power to change." The only problem? You can't simply cast those things off because they are part of you and they do define you. They are your history. They are your personality. They are you.
Maybe it's our short attention span. Maybe it's our overly simplistic mind. Maybe it's our aversion to creative full of distracting hack job jumble cuts and irrelevant metaphors. Whatever it is, we had to watch these two DDB West-created, Epoch Films-produced Wells Fargo commercials a few times before we realized they touted the organization's online banking services and automatic savings programs.
Come one Epoch! You guys did that awesome JCPenney commercial. Granted you submitted it illegally to Cannes last year but still. Who got their hands on this Wells Fargo work? Your interns?
In the "this absolutely has to be a spoof" category, comes Pet Airways, an airline that's all about your little furry one. The pets get to fly in the main cabin rather than below and are cared for inflight by airline personnel. Yes, it's true. And it's not a spoof.
The airline, created by Alysa Bunder and Dan Wiesel ans operated by Suburban Air Freight, will begin flight in July with service to D.C., New York, Chicago, Denver and Los Angeles. Each flight costs $149.
And, no, the pet owners do not fly in the cargo hold along with their pets. They have to find their on mode of transportation.
Throw open that beach towel, get a public service announcement: "You're probably not expecting to drown today." Not especially, no.
Other fun-tastic messages in ideal places include "You're probably not expecting to need a helmet today" and "Being run over while jaywalking only happens to other people."
And here are some highly depressing, but decidedly effective, TV spots. Sobering stuff for preventable.ca by Wasserman + Partners/Vancouver.
It's not as bad as it sounds. To encourage women to get regular Pap smears, and to promote its Cervical Cancer Screening Program, BC Cancer Agency partnered with Cineplex Odeon Theatres to air "Eye of the Cervix" in theatres.
Friendly enough ad. The curtain opens to reveal a pretty, congenial doctor. She asks if we're comfortable, does a quick swab and decisively says, "And we're done."
Closing lines bring it home: "It doesn't take long to prevent cervical cancer. Remember to have regular Pap tests."
We like it just fine, and it even made us feel productive, but here's where wanky boyfriends turn to their partners and go, "When was the last time you got checked?"
Here's a new GoDaddy spot that will neither change your life nor get you off. In it, two preppyland hotties on a golf course find an enchanted genie lamp. One wishes for the world's longest drive, har har, and I'm sure you can imagine what happens next.
Bob Parsons stars as the somewhat seedy genie; the more vocal chick is model Anna Rawson, a new GoDaddy girl and LPGA player.
Some bra marketers, such as Wonderbra, love to tout the fact they help a woman look bigger than she really is. Others, such as Ultimo, are more practical and love to tout their product's ability to control what they've already got. Even in the most extreme circumstances like, oh, on several roller coasters at Allton Towers Resort.
Host Holly thanks us for joining her and a bevy of lingerie-clad ladies who illustrate how Ultimo is all about allowing women to enjoy "thrills without spills."
Ladies, do not attempt while wearing a Wonderbra. You will get hurt.