Hello? This is Adrants, right? So where's our commentary on the Lane Bryant ad featuring a woman whose breasts are apparently too big for Fox and ABC? Excuse us if we took off a few days to enter the actual world where women with actual breasts and actual cleavage exist. And who aren't cast off as mutated oddities as the networks seem to have done to the women in the new Lane Bryant commercial.
"Good God! She has breasts! Holy shit! Look at that cleavage! We can't possibly air that! That would break our B cup limit! That would likely cause men to get erections in public!The cause groups would eat us alive! Besides, the she weighs more than 120 pounds! And that makes her fat! No one wants to see fat people in ads. Tell those fatties over at Lane Bryant that if they want that spot to air, they're going to have to cover up that cleavage."
So sexy. So not what your father's network would air.
Haven't we all had enough of these stupid commercials that promise you the world if only you drink a Coke...as if that can full of sugarized crap has anything to do with your ability to achieve success on your own?
So here we have some crap about a "boy who didn't know how to celebrate so he set off on a quest to find his own celebration." Complete with joyous lyrics about freedom and fire, the boy flies, fights against robots and climbs mountains of celebrations. But it's not until he takes a sip of Coke that he realizes the only place he needs to search for celebration is inside himself.
Gag! Please! Seriously? A kid needs to drink a a Coke to realize his potential? Seriously? What twisted sort of education is that for today's youth? Oh wait, it's the same thing every other marketer does. Buy our product and you will be magically transformed in the most supremely perfect person on the planet.
If you can get over the fact, Coke is just unhealthy sugar water to which the entire human race is seemingly addicted, then you might be able to enjoy a modicum of excitement for the new limited edition Coca-Cola Light packaging from Karl Lagerfeld. And if you can get over the insanity of a soda brand pimping itself as if it were DKNY or Dolce and Gabbana then you can come to appreciate the fact a brand as big as Coke can do anything it wants (New Coke, anyone?) and still succeed.
Then again, this all happening in France which makes it completely normal.
A skank? A skank? How dare you skankify the lovely Kiki whose only crime was to be born hot. We think it's fine to trash the idiotic behavior that finds its way into commercials but to pick on a sweet, innocent young lady just to score some points with the God of Snark? For shame! For Shame!
What the hell she was doing up in a tree we have no idea but that doesn't give you the right to pummel the poor child with vitriolic barbs! And why Keystone's Keith Stone thinks it's OK to actually say, "What's the dealio?" is beyond us but to even mention him in the same sentence as the far more suave Most Interesting Man is a travesty. It's like comparing Busch beer to Oban scotch!
Good God, AdFreak. It's almost as if you drank some AgencySpy for breakfast!
Last night, ESPN and The Golf Channel aired a new Nike commercial featuring Tiger Woods...and his dead father. The black and white commercial with Woods in Nike garb staring motionless into the camera is voiced by his late father, Earl Woods, who says, "Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?"
Of the commercial and Woods, himself, Nike said in a statement, "We support Tiger and his family. As he returns to competitive golf, the ad addresses his time away from the game using the powerful words of his father."
While reading Bob Garfield's farewell piece today in Advertising Age, nothing really surprised us. The man said everything we expected him to. He lobbed a few barbs, apologized for a few missteps, trashed ad blogs, pimped his books, reminded us he's almost always right...and told us he's 55. Say what? 55? Only 55? Seriously?
OK, that's just mean and it plays right into Bob's hatred for the horror we ad blogs purportedly promote: the cheap punchline. To wit, Garfield wrote, "What is paramount is being an honest broker of your own judgments, and never succumbing to the temptation of skewing negative for the sake of a cheap punchline. If you wish to see what happens when this principle is ignored, spend five minutes reading the ad blogs or Gawker. They are intermittently amusing, deliberately mean and ethically bankrupt."
When you move to the middle of upstate nowhere, you become privy to some seriously wacky shit. Like yesterday's Live Bait vending machine sighting. And the daily onslaught of local Hyundai car dealer Billy Fuccillo. Maybe you've already caught these over the years but everyday the man barks into the camera and utters his long-time catchphrase, "It's HUUUUUUGE!" And he really does say it that way. Actually, he says ,"It's HUUUUGJA!" You just have to see it to believe it.
Of course it's no surprise car dealers are famous for this sort of idiocy. But, as with all advertising, if you can latch onto something memorable, you might as well go for it. And in acknowledgment of Fuccillo's pervasiveness, his advertising has spawned many a parody. There's Fuccillo Blow. No One Likes Billy Fuccillo. There's Ka-Bam from a competing dealership. There's Fuccillo-style bible sales. And then there's the HUUUUUGE outtakes. And make sure you don't miss the HUUUUUGE mistake he made on air when he said, "Go fuck your wife." No, seriously.
After reading a post on AgencySpy entitled Mullen's CCO Promotes Crowdsourcing in AdWeek Opine which commented on Edward Boches participation in a gathering of 30 agency folks at SXSW, I commented to share my thoughts. Here's what I wrote (with some additions):
In an ideal world, this scenario (crowdsourcing-ish cloud creative) could and would work. In today's world, it's not so clear cut. The changes needed to make this model work go so drastically against current agency models that this sort of change, in my opinion, can only come with generational change.
- Warren Buffet does Axl Rose in Geico annual meeting video.
- Chocolate pudding brand unleashes it's inner David Lynch.
- It's O'Dell vs. Hall on SXSW Suckage.
- YouTube and Viacom: like two nursery school kids fighting in the sandbox.
- More Vulva hotness.
- Purina Bark in the Park work angers Copyranter. And not because the work's not good.
- Near naked hot dudes cursing in their underwear. No, seriously. It's a new Calvin Klein campaign.
- Let's do the SXSW High Five!
It seems there's a lot of negative reaction to this year's SXSW. Revision3's Jim Louderback complains he's been blackballed and wonders why the event still needs panels...even though he snuck in and participated on three. The Huffington Post's Mayhill Fowler says the event has grown too big and lost its edge. ReadWrite Web's Jolie O'Dell wrote a post entitled "Why SXSW Sucks" on her personal blog which now has 127 comments and counting.
In reaction to O'Dell's article, SiliconAngle defended the event in an article entitled Why SXSW Doesn't Suck (and used a picture I took last year thank you very much) citing the fact they got 15 to 20 hours of usable video content from the event.