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"Jetting" is set to ELO's Mr. Blue Sky and has a poppy feel-good Target vibe -- except, you know, more blue. It's also jam-packed with effortful Jet Blue-isms like "Jetting is decked out in leather," "Jetting means business," "Jetting isn't flying," and "Jetting thinks you deserve a snack."
Aww, Jet Blue gave us a coooookie.
About as surprising as a traffic meeting on a Monday morning, Epoch Films, after talks with Cannes organizers, JCPenney and Saatchi & Saatchi, has decided to withdraw its Speed Dressing Cannes entry which was awarded a Bronze Lion. The ad, one of the best ever created for the clothing retailer since Saatchi & Saatchi won the account, was shot by Epoch films without, as all parties claim, the knowledge of JCPenney or Saatchi & Saatchi. It's not the first time a faux ad has been submitted, duped everyone and won but it has turned into one of the more high profile offenses.
Following the questionably-real video of a guy back flipping into a pair of Levi's, a new, definitely not real video has a guy with his pants filled with helium float off into the air. OK. A.) Ever try to see how many helium-filled balloons you'd need to get yoursself off the ground? Exactly, you gave up after 100 which wouldn't even launch your dog. B.) Curiously, the guys is always floating in the same position...as if hung buy a wire that was later digitally removed. Not at all like the people you see floating around in space or on dive planes.
OK, it's fun but this is just dumb. Some poor low IQ idiot is going to try this at home and kill themselves thinking they can jump off their roof with a bit of helium in their pants. Law suits will ensue. Levi's will apologize. And American stupidity will continue to reign supreme.
Today, not more than a few hours after word of George Carlin's death spread across the internet, this atrocity arrived in the Adrants inbox:
"Today, we learned of the passing of comedy great George Carlin, an unintentional champion of freedom of speech.
Over the years, the discussion of WHAT CAN BE SAID on TV has raised eyebrows, and court gavels. From "period" to "pregnant," how are companies talking to their audiences these days and how has it changed since years before.
An editor at [redacted] is available for commentary on this new media culture, including:
Ric Kallaher, the photographer who took all those awesome shots at One Show in May, ditched the Cannes International Ad Festival for the Coney Island freak show, otherwise known as the Second Annual Wrath of Cannes.
And he's not sorry.
"Who needs Cannes?! Beter yet: who WANTS Cannes?!" he concluded, having obviously returned a changed man.
"THIS is everything an advertising awards show should be: last minute, no hassle entries open to anyone & everyone, free beer, rockin' surfer-guitar music (blasted out by the ever-cool Tarantinos), raucous fun on the beach, and on-site, in full-view judging for clients that could never exist for ad campaigns that could never air.
"But, hey, with modern mobile platforms, why not?!"
Below: 8 Freakish Things We Learned About Wrath of Cannes. (Illustrated.)
This was published here a little over a year ago and in the interest of reviewing the predictions made in the article, we're reprinting it. All the predictions haven't come true but we are certainly on our way.
What? Wait a minute. This just isn't right. Have we finally realized women aren't the only objects that can be used to sell beer? Is it possible a hot guy could attract as much attention as a hot girl? Just what is going on here? Are we observing a new trend of sorts? What, pray tell, are all the leering, slobbering, Budweiser drinkers going to do now that they may be subjected to the trite objectification of men instead of the beer babeliciousness they have come to expect from most brewers' advertising?
We are stunned. Stunned! Have we reached a culturally significant watershed moment here? This just boggles the mind. This turns things upside down. Are the Coors Twins out of a job? What about the Miller Lite Cat Fight babes? The St. Pauli Girl? The Rolling Rock Beer Ape Babes? The Milwaukee's Best Automotive Girl? The Foster's Beer Boob? The Bavaria Beer grocery store stripper? Beer.com's Virtual Bartenders? The Troegs Beer burping and farting babe? The Labatt's Blue lesbians?
- Repeating successes at One Show and the Clios, Uniqlo's "Uniqlock" (agency: Projector) won the Cannes Cyber Grand Prix. "Year Zero" for NIN (agency: 42 Entertainment) took Best Viral; "Sol Comments" (Mediafront Oslo) won Online Advertising.
- Gawker chose Gorilla Nation to sell its ads in Canada. The deal is exclusivo, no word if it's multi-year.
- Diggin' R&R's Tarot-style print campaign for the Rio Suites Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Adfreak isn't sold, though.
- WeMix and VoodooVox enable anyone to "drop a flow" (THEIR WORDS! NOT -- MINE!) from their phones and broadcast them. Ludacris is sponsoring. More cringey self-laud: "VoodooVox is the leading In-Call Media revolution." What does that mean?
- MTLB is upset about PETA, the one-sidedness of 30 Days (esp. the carnivore-meets-vegan episode), and changing people via persecution instead of supplying appealing alternatives to destructive lifestyles.
Well if you ever want to watch the world's longest, most boring dissertation (um, blatherific business babble) on in-text advertising, give this Cannes Fringe video a watch in which Asa Bailey interviews Vibrant Media CMO Sean Finnegan who goes on and on and on and fucking on about the insanity that is in-text advertising.
The original writer of AgencySpy, SuperSpy, has launched Fifth Column, which aims to improve the advertising business by soliciting comments for improvement which will then be sent to the agencies they apply to and, ultimately published for public consumption.
On Advertising Fifth column, formerly anonymous blogger SuperSpy now refers to herself as Sabrina Duncan which, if you do a Google search doesn't help much since all you get are endless listing of Kate Jackson's Charlie's Angel character, Sabrina Duncan.