Barbie's Birthday Ride, Defiled Desserts, Neo-Con's Golden Child

- White paper in comic book form.

- Meg Whitman for CA gov.

- Two sides of Arnold -- the disgruntled and the loyalists -- come to blows.

- Neo-conservatism's golden child.

- Barbie's birthday Beetle.

- Ugh, dude. Only in Iowa.

- "If they did do it, you'd expect them to be flaunting it. Unless there's no one left in the fucking building to do it!"

SBUX Value Meals, Doe-Eye Prejudice, Recovery for Dummies

- The Obama Administration's recovery.gov logo kinda reminds us of...

- MoMA shoots for socially-minded redesign. (It should probably start here, though.)

- Google's Eric Schmidt's a Twitter-hater. Well, maybe "hater" is too strong a word.

- For once, an instance where extreme prejudice may improve your online quality of life. (Via that one guy whose site's all covered in Skittles.)

- Hella happy over drillwork.

- Starbucks value meals? Seriously? Sell your stock. Now. Because a licensing partnership with Hello Kitty is just around the corner.

Think the Marines Are Hot? Go to War with Ukraine

We knew a guy who got drafted into the Ukrainian military. As the day of his departure drew closer, he turned into a person we hardly knew and who sort of freaked us out. Finally he confessed he was dodging the draft and leaving for London.

"But why?" we said.

"Ukrainian military makes people disappear," he hissed, looking all wild-eyed.

Having just seen this ad for the Ukrainian Army, we have serious doubts about that and resent that he lied to us. Ukraine's first line of defense turns ordinary folk into dangerously charismatic mofos, capable of seducing women of varying hairstyles away from men with BMWs. Said women will shower you with alabaster jugs of vodka and chase your tanks while making marriage contract innuendos. (Now you know why Tony Stewart picks the Russian chicks.)

You will also get a really vivid hat.

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...and Would You Like Sprinkles on that Star-Spangled Animal Fat?

"Muscovites have been puzzling over a series of vaguely Warhollian posters appearing in subway stations. The 'product' being presented is called Amerikanskoye Salo, which translates to 'American Lard' or 'American Fat.'

Judging from the poster, it has several culinary uses, including chocolate-covered lard and lard drizzled with borscht."

According to Read Russia (linked above), Russian business newspaper Kommersant claims this American Lard thing is a propaganda effort by political party A Just Russia, which wants to draw attention to the sick, unhealthy interior beneath the US's tasty veneer (edible or otherwise). Others claim it might be a viral effort to promote a book, and at least one civilian believes this really is just a new food product.

"Sigh. Propaganda here used to be so simple," the author laments. Yeah, we know the feeling.

Guard Your Loins! This Video Will Gay You

Responding to political insinuations that homosexuals "effectively advertise, glamorise and recruit people" to their lifestyle, a handful of creatives used their downtime to develop a tongue-in-cheek recruitment campaign for la vie en gay.

"The Gay Alphabet" is all Sesame Street-inspired eightiesness, cheerfully ticking down an alphabetical list of all the things that WILL MAKE YOU GAY. So yeah, that one time you went out in chaps and confessed to loving Kylie Minogue to a dude who later grabbed your ass? That marked your fall into Sodom -- and one day you will learn to love it.

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President Obama's Life Used As Pro-Life Argument

No matter your stand on abortion, you have to admit this pro-life commercial from CatholicVote featuring President Obama moves you just a little bit. Doesn't it?

Oh sure, CatholicVote is milking this for all its worth but there are two sides to every story and this is one of the better Pro-life arguments we've seen in recent memory.

Facebook's Whopper of a Sacrifice, Polygamous Secrets, GOOG Slims Down

- Facebook shuts down Burger King's "Whopper Sacrifice" app, which offers users free Whoppers after they de-friend 10 people. The data-sharing giant treated the app as a privacy breach.

- Google shafts 100. Dodgeball will be no more; Google Video will cease taking uploads in a few months' time.

- Paris-based Havas is splitting CEO duties between COO Gabriel Saenz de Buruaga of Madrid, and CSO Anthony Rhind of London.

- How advertising works.

- Got a secret, but can't be bothered to make a postcard? Contribute to Big Love's web of secrets. Note that each secret you enter endorses polygamy. Kidding. Maybe.

- Get a load of Obama's beast.

- Oh nooooes, renting a movie is just too hard for some.

- The Social Path lists emerging careers of 2009.

- MTLB's gas-related wisdom.

- Eyewear for the poor.

IKEA Wants the White House.

More specifically, it wants its couches and desks and bedroom sets and carpets and oblong dishware inside the White House. (See concept design for the Oval Office, which doesn't so much say "President" as it does "patriotic single mom with puppy and kindergartener.")

And by adopting the "Change" message that worked so well for Obama, it hopes you'll help achieve its goal. Witness and wince while it slathers Washington, DC's Union Station with bright yellow propaganda:

o "The time for domestic reform is NOW!" (At left.)
o "Fiscally responsible home furnishings FOR ALL!"
o "Change Begins AT HOME!"

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McCain's Country First Fails to Ignite Evangelical Spark

John McCain hopes to reshape the Republican party -- and reignite his supporter base -- using the same social media tools that betrayed their obsolescence.

But Country First, launched with help from the same web consultants that helped him lose his campaign for POTUS, is no contest to Change.gov, the Obama administration's way of keeping people involved with government at a granular level. It currently does little more than solicit donations with cheap euphemisms ("Become a charter member!") while pushing a smarmy, superficial "McCain loves America!" video -- which can neither be embedded nor shared.

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Proof that Advertising is At Least as Informative as Fox News.

One Chicago-based furniture store is happy to admit it sells more seats than Governor Blagojevich -- and at a better rate, to boot.

High-la-rious. But oh, does it beat Virgin Mobile's technicolor spin on Spitzer?