European mobile carrier Orange has launched a phone charger powered by dance energy.
"The Orange Dance Charge is the result of months of research into alternate, sustainable energy sources to power mobile phones during summer music festivals," says the pressie with a straight face.
The unit was developed with help from GotWind, whose unfortunate name refers to renewable energy research, not the thing that happens when you pull Uncle's finger. The charger's system of weights and magnets provides an electrical current when a person flails about.
Orange Dance Charge was tested at the Glastonbury Festival last month. A promotional Dance Charging Man helped newbs charge phones in exchange for a dance.
Yeah, I've fallen for that one before. Just one dance, baby ... and I'll give you a charge, all right.
Under Pressure, little more than transparent hype for Dove's self esteem fund ("You support our efforts every time you buy Dove!"), is probably the weakest of its Ogilvy-manufactured Real Women series. The parts that aren't naked promotion look cobbled together from scraps of Onslaught.
The spot follows up from Amy, the lonesome story about a lovestruck boy who doesn't understand why his girlfriend hates herself so much; and Hair, one woman's pursuit of gorgeosity via shoe polish and peroxide. It kinda brings Requiem for a Dream to mind, except it's missing "ass to ass!"
A handy-dandy rule of thumb: avoid using a service whose name sounds exactly like "Fees!" (exclamation included).
PFEEZ! is a site that publishes "creative" photographs of stuff people are selling on Ebay. The lunatic at left, par exemple, is selling a very old Swiss 20-franc piece.
The site positions itself as "a totally bizarre photo/videoblog" that helps sellers "catch people's attention on curent Ebay sales (for FREE)."
If you're a seller on Ebay, you'll need all the help you can get. Guffaw.
Seeking distraction? Practice your competitive discus-throwing skills on Discus Champion, a game Tamba made for King Solomon's Casino, which is kinda funny because until I realized the discus was actually a head-sized poker chip, I thought this was a really lame promotion for Ultimate Frisbee.
In an effort to squeeze as much out of Pink as it possibly can, Victoria's Secret launched a back-to-school campaign for co-eds, as well as the "exclusive!" Pink Collegiate Collection -- which boasts licensing partnerships with 33 schools.
Don't just rock your college sweater. Rock it with hearts and polka-dots.
The Collegiate Collection will be promoted with a green movement ("Recycle Your Sweats!"), an event called Pinkapalooza, and migrating brand ambassadors paid to push Pink at football games. Bleacher blowjobs optional. Just kidding.
Advertising Age calls this the label's "most comprehensive [launch] yet."
Please! Can we just stop with all these forced movie co-marketing tie-ins that make about as much sense as submitting a real ad to Cannes for a Lion? In this disaster, we have a Domino's delivery boy ... oops ... girl traveling through a Dark Night (get it?) in Gotham City (get it?) to deliver a Gotham City Pizza (get it?) to the Joker (get it?) who owes pizza girl a new car because of his random acts of violence. It all kinda makes good 'ol "price and item" advertising ripe for a comeback.
Please, CP+B! Call Barbarian Group and hook up for another Subservient Chicken. Even SCII would be better than this mess.
Check out the Aquafresh interactive mobile, complete with virtual tooth-brushing games and free teeth cleaning duds.
The only thing that would make it cooler would be if you could step inside a giant mouth and bounce on its big foamy tongue while getting slightly high on a fresh-breath smell.
To promote its Star Trek-caliber bubble-killing beer cans, Foster's gives us Ride the Scuba, where you can leap into a virtual SCUBA tank and pop bloated bubbles.
Enter this email/password to beer SCUBA from your desk: firstname.lastname@example.org/thankyou. Our connection's pretty slow, so we spent most of our SCUBA time hovering near a Foster's billboard, sort of like dead fish.
The game was put together by the UK's Play. Props to MTLB, who was all, "C'mon, play beer scuba with me, c'monc'monc'mooooon" until we finally said "Fine, but only if we get a peanut tube."
"Honey, what are you doing in there? You've been on the computer all afternoon."
".......What was that?"
"Mo-om, I'm saving Cookie Puss from getting a faceful of cone!"
If that's not sufficiently crash-worthy, "CookiePussTeroids" is also spelled wrong.
- It Didn't Air is another awards show that aspires to tickle the creative babies that were too ugly or flawed to make it into waking life. Strictly for radio ads -- and only $75 to enter!!
- Anheuser-Busch is going to stop selling energy drinks. Which is probably wise, because tipsy + hyper = high likelihood of Death by Freak Accident. Typically on a train track.
- Mega-Bang turns bald, bearded, nearsighted men into repetitive sex gods. Also, check out his bathrobe insignia. It's a phallus. With an orbit.
- Mattress Firm is looking for the most sleepless person in America. The winner gets a new mattress and a free consultation from a shrink -- er, sleep expert. To enter, write an essay or submit a video, though I think the latter's preferred because that's what all the cool kids do.