Chirping Birds, Aerial Beauty Shots Soothe, Confuse

So sometimes you'll be sitting on the couch all relaxed watching your favorite TV show and an ad comes on that is so soothing and intriguing that you don't hit the fast forward button. Rather, you drink in its beauty, allowing it to slowly build to what you will assume to be some powerful, feel-good message.

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Don't Stop at Shaking Your Ass. SHAKE TA LIFE.

Viacom is the parent company behind a covert French mobile phone promotion called Shake Ta Life (probably the most wince-worthy Franglais EVAR), where, with one quick shake, phones do all kinds of wild and wonderful things to improve the lives of their MTV-enslaved owners.

An on-site phone customizing doohickey lets you select what you want a phone to do (make you sexier, make a kebab) and how you'd like it to look (girly, glamrock, gothic, geeky).

I put together a geeky kebab-making phone. That's the thing at left. It probably smells nice.

The brand behind the madness will be revealed on April 16th. Try not to stay up fretting over it. Instead, ponder on this: wouldn't it be cool if your phone had a foosball table?

Flickr Users Protest Video, iJustine Says Quit Being A Btchr

What the hell? Flickr decides to make it possible for users to upload videos along with their photos and what do some people do? That's right. They bitch, complaining Flickr is only for photos as if people who take and look at pictures NEVER, EVER, EVER take or watch videos. WTF? Justine tells all the video mimbys to quit being Bitchrs.

Coffee, Tea ... or Richard Kirshenbaum?

Sassy Richard of kirshenbaum + bond is launching a show on Plum called Creative Lunch. Think Oprah, except people will be picking at food while weighing in on almighty Creativity. Slated guests include Martha Stewart, Matt Lauer, and David and Dylan Lauren.

We've seen Richard talk before. He's mesmerizing, especially when he does that swishy thing with his hair. Also, he never ever capitalizes anything.

Hurry for self-fellating agency heads. Now here is a promotional image of Richard barefoot. (The PR company sent it to us, except 34098343908 times bigger.)

No word yet on the debut of a "k" magazine, featuring Richard on the cover in various states of simper, following the success of the talk show. We're sure they're working on it though.

Scott's Knows 'All in One' is the Way to Go For Guys

It's true. All guys are like this. We want simplicity in our lives. We want everything at our fingertips. We want to be coddled in luxury. We want it all. All at once. We want...All in One. Actually, truth be told, we're just lazy. So if we can cut the lawn while simultaneously barbecuing and watching the game, that's what we'll do. And we love that Scott's appreciates that.

MDC Partner agency zig created the spot, it's first work for the brand since winning the account last year. The spot is running in Canada.

Ladies. You Only Have One Beaver so Take Care Down There

Camp Beaver Lake. Camp Beaver. Camp Beaver Fork. Beaver Cross Camp. Beaver Creek Youth Camp. Beaver lake nature Center Camp. Friendly Beaver Camp Ground. Beaver Cove Camp. camp Beaver View. The list goes on. And on and on and on. And you know you can't come across a list like this without cracking a smile. You know it.

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Come On. Deforestation is JUST LIKE Plucking Out Earth's Chest Hair.

Here's a video that will make you think about deforestation in a painful, deeply personal way. Try not to cry.

Except this metaphor doesn't really hold. Because after that virgin pluck session, you get all rhino-skinned and totally impervious to the pain of losing your hair, one at a time, in an agonizingly slow manner.

I know this. I have conducted studies on my own anatomy.

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Geico Caveman Finally Peaks, Begins Slow Humiliating Decline

And he's channeling John Travolta! (Thanks, MTLB.)

There you have it. Fame makes everybody a dancing monkey. Or it could just be SXSW aftershock.

Once You Go Black, You Go Jeff Dahmer. Wait, What?!

That probably generated traffic trouble.

The sex-and-candy action took place last month in Sao Paulo, when 40 panty-clad girls stood eating chocolate body parts in public places. Pics appeared on Irresistivel.net, which pinpointed their locations and Orkut profiles via Google Maps.

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Trains Enter, Facebook Chats, Cuba Gets More TV, Apple Attacks Big Apple

- Durex latches on to Hitchcock's train-entering-tunnel metaphor in a new ad for Durex Play Lubricant.

- Cuba is getting expanded access to television programming without having to resort to illegal satellite hookups.

- Copyranter says it's Big Tits Friday. OK, so he said it last Friday.

- Jenna Jameson launches post-porn career. Help promote her new movie, Zombie Strippers, by writing some taglines.

- Again confirming its belief people are idiots who can't determine the difference between a computer and a city, Apple, earlier this year, filed a complaint to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office claiming New York's new green apple tourism logo is "likely to cause confusion, mistake or deception in the minds of consumers." Who's really the idiot here?

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