Oh how we love contextual advertising. Surely, it's a very effective form of online advertising and does it's thing quite well about 98 percent of the time. That's certainly worth celebrating but it's that other two percent we love so much.
You know it. It's that two percent that give us turpentine ads next to stories about a girl who committed suicide by drinking turpentine. "Card Shark" credit card copy next to an article about a woman killed by a shark. A free dinner for two offer from Olive Garden next to a story about how 250 people fot sick after eating at one of their restaurants.
The Super Bowl ads people claimed to dislike more than others, or that performed poorly in ad popularity studies, turned out to perform quite well in terms of acquiring website visits. GoDaddy, Salesgenie, Office of National Drug Control Policy, Audi, Gatorade, Under Armour, most of which weren't too well received, saw significant gains in site traffic the day after the game, according to Hitwise.
For men seeking rich older women, and older women hungry for pretty meat popsicles, check out Pocket Change.
This week Pocket Change is running a NYC-based event called Sugar Mama Speed Date, which puts a lowest-common-denominator twist on that speed dating thing. The application for men is totally appearance-based, and all entrants must be younger than 35.
Some of the hot hunks of man-toy are in advertising -- and guess what else! We get to show you their pictures and names. Get a leer at the sugar-mama-hunting ad-flesh up for grabs: Joseph Pergola, Jay Kelty, Colin Bennett (at left), David Zarkin, Jonathan Hillman, and Brad Melshenker (don't be fooled by the context).
We actually didn't think these people were serious until we got photos of the harem. If someone would like to bring Adrants home some bacon a la Bennett, don't let your modesty stop you.
If you want a seriously retarded re-cap of this year's Super Bowl commercials, be sure to check out Bob Garfield's video in which he thinks one of the Bridgestone commercials was homophobic, an extremely tame Victoria's Secret commercial somehow compels guys to go home and masturbate, the cartoonish heart in that Careerbuilder commercial as well as the "blood curdling scream" in Audi's Godfather spot will "scare the wits" out of children, Diet Pepsi Max is somehow marketed as a drug, McDonald's somehow shouldn't make people aware it's behind the Ronald McDonald House and that it's impossible for two people of opposing political parties to put aside their arguing for a day and relate to each other like human beings.
Seriously, Bob. Life really isn't as bad as you paint it. Didn't you see Coke's beautiful balloon ballet? OK, so this year's Super Bowl wasn't a stellar one ad-wise but it was not the debacle you paint it.
Gatorade really isn't cutting it with its Super Bowl efforts this year. In a spot for its G2 sport drink, Derek Jeter walks through the streets of New York as a baseball landscape digitally follows him. Like we said here, nice effects but that's about it. We said it wasn't lame but close.
After viewing this Arnell-created commercial for the company's flagship line of drinks, we can, without doubt, say this one is truly lame. For almost the entire length of the commercial, we see a dog drinking from its water bowl. We watch. We wait. We watch. We wait. There simply has to be some amazing punchline this thing's working up to. Will the dog break out in some sort of digitally-enabled, cartoonish, Gatorade-fueled dance? Will we see a loving scene between dog and man with a closing shot of man and dog expressing their love for one another while the man drinks from a bottle of Gatorade and the tagline, "Gatorade. Life is Good" is supered?
So you first start watching this Jawbone ad (of course you don't know it's a Jawbone as yet) in which the camera makes visual love to an OMFG hot lady in a black bikini sunning on a recliner next to a pool and all is well with the world. You're all set to drink in the woman's delicious thighs, her ripped stomach, her perfect waist-to-hip ration, her perfect skin, her magnificent breasts, her stunning Euro-style beauty...until you get cock blocked by a bunch or loud retards (OK, that's not PC so we'll say buffoons) who do what guys do when they get together: make a lot of noise and act stupid (OK, that's not PC so we'll say, uh, exuberant)
This is just too weird to pass over. Apparently, there's an organization called Fuck Death whose mission is "the elimination of death through the generation and distribution of funds to strategically selected causes and initiatives worldwide." Basically, it combats "oldness." OK, then.
There's a website, a mission statement, a weblog, a store and a very strange video.
There's just one problem with Fuck Death's mission. If no one ever died, it wouldn't be too long before every last square inch of the planet earth were covered with human feet. That wouldn't be a pretty sight. We all want to live forever but death does have a purpose. It lets others live.
For Valentine's Day, grocery chain Piggly Wiggly is offering a $5,000 diamond necklace to its Angus beef buyers. The winner will be selected on February 11.
We're weirded out by the contest creative, which feature a woman wearing meat where a diamond should be. Clearly the difference between uncut rock and uncut bloody raw rack is narrower than we thought. Check out the Say it with Beef variant.
If nothing else, we're gonna assume this means we can take Steak and Blowjob Day off the calendar.
Copyranter caught the ad on the back of this week's AdWeek which features 74 year old Julie Newmar - formerly of the original Batman's Catwoman - who is looking to be a a brand's next corporate spokesperson. The ad promises she hasn't been retouched and we must admit she looks pretty good. It's not often you see a 74 year old dressed in lingerie like this. Kudos, we guess. Who knows. You go, girl.
Now here's an ad that, shall we say, stretches the truth...oh just a wee bit. Not much else to say about it other than it appears on Digg which has had quite a few ads of questionable validity over the past few weeks or so. Bigger image here.