High School Food Fight Promotes Eating Better

Oh the lameness that passes as advertising because, well, we all love a good fart joke or a high school cafeteria food fight. It's the latter General Mills, with help from mono, has gone for in launching The Good Food Fight. On the site there are recipes which you can forward to your friends who can view them but as they view them, they are visited by character who throw food at them. So, send one to that shit head boss of yours just for laughs.

Cobras, Ice Cream Won't Convince Us the Zune's About Sharing

72andSunny and Goldfrapp give us Meltdown for the Zune. It takes place in the desert with an ice cream cone and two cobras, which share the sweet instead of fighting for it. At some point their scales get all disco fever, and shortly thereafter, a shitload of other ice cream cones fall out of the sky.

The ad vibes like something off Cartoon Network with the '80s sex music and gyrating cobras and whatnot. We also can't help but wonder, are the ice cream cones metaphors for the now-ubiquitous iPod?

According to the press release, the ad is supposed to illustrate sharing (as in, filesharing) between the cobras, which is rewarded by all those other ice creams falling from the sky.

Wait - is this the same Zune that actually discourages sharing by restricting users to the Windows platform? Half the time it doesn't even play music purchased from the MSN music store. Don't give us this schlock about sharing.

Neat ad, though. Weird, but neat.

Tom Ford and Vulva Create New Trend: Vaginads

Two make a trend and we're dubbing it Vaginads. Yup, vagina ads. Last week, Tom Ford debuted a new campaign which prominently featured his fragrance product directly between the legs of a naked woman. Now, we are tipped to German company Vivaeros which has a product called Vulva.

And yes, as the name indicates, it has everything to do with that particular female body part and the (good) smells that emanate from within. While the whole thing reads like one big spoof (an email to the company confirms it's the real deal, though), there seems to be some seriousness to it. The company, reacting to the predominance of erotic products which makes a person more attractive to another, has bottled the smell of sex (in the form of a "beguiling vaginal scent") and is selling it as a fragrance for men to wear seemingly to bring them pleasure in the absence of the real thing.

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iQdoU? Billboards Proliferate NYC, Have Roots in Canada?

Adrants reader Amy sent us a shot of these iQdoU? billboards and asked if we knew what this is all about.

After some intelligent sleuthing (read: consulting Google), we found a cliffhanger-style website that invites the inquisitive to "unwrap the secret" on September 23rd.

Dissatisfied with that, and with the crappy think-tank music, we checked the meta tags, where we found terms like "celebrity shopping" and "seen on celebrities."

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KFC Sponsors Mystery Meat Macrophotography Photo Series

So there's this Mystery Meat macrophotography thing floating around. It consists of people taking close up pictures of processed meat products. Next to one of the images, courtesy of contextual advertising fuckery, we have a text ad for KFC talking about their nutrition guide. Mmm, mmm, good.

Aap!Steps - Because People on the Move, But Not Moving, Need Something to Stare At

Here's something we never thought of before. Aap!Steps - branded escalators!

It's not like you could make an escalator uglier, right?

Axe Makes Women Crazy, Tom Ford Delivers Snatch

When selling men's fragrance, most marketers rely on artist but meaningless photography of alluring situations meant to capture what they believe to be some ethereal state of being obtained only by using the marketer's fragrance. But not Tom Ford.

Ford removes all pretense in his latest fragrance campaign and celebrates what every man wants: to fuck. In this ad, Ford less than deftly places the product in the place all men hope the it will get them: snatch. Crass? Certainly. Objectifying of women? Sure. Attention getting? Most definitely.

Of the campaign, a Tom Ford Beauty Spokeswoman told Women's Wear Daily, "We loved the original Marilyn Minter images, but while on a shoot with [Richardson] in Milan, we decided that a sharper, more graphic approach clearly communicated the bold and provocative mood of the fragrance." Sharper and more graphic, indeed.

Hey, Kid. Want Some Manpower Candy?

We got the coolest spam today. Check it out here.

For those too lazy or too distrusting to click, it says:

"Hey, can you make love more that 10 minutes? Yes, you can with our 'manpower candies.' All love enhancers (and many other meds) at one online store!"

We're not really sure what manpower candies are. They sound like a cross between our favourite peppermint treat and Power Thirst. We looked them up on our handy-dandy internets and only found more questions than answers.

Sprint Loves Itself Some NFL

Sprint is really laying it on thick with its "Sprint ahead" campaign. In tangent with Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, SF, Exopolis has put together a Sprint ad that will appear on stadium jumbotrons this NFL season. It is called "NFL at SprintSpeed Jumbotron." No, we didn't make that up.

Anyway, the ad features a couple of football players running shrouded by darkness except for the ambient light and enchanted microfiber magic surrounding them. The end of the spot culminates in a glorified tackle that looks more like a Lifetime movie embrace. This tryst explodes into still more light, flying symmetrically out of the two bodies and toward the rest of the frame.

It's very Disney.

Then there's the Sprint logo. Then, "Proud sponsor and avid fan of the NFL."

Avid, eh?

Bulletproof Baby Has Trouble Pulling Off Bulletproof Guerilla Stunt

Have you ever felt your baby was just not bulletproof enough? (If you are 50 Cent's mother, probably - or not, depending on how you look at it).

Visit Bulletproof Baby for bulletproof cribs, strollers, vests, toddler tasers and disturbing product-test videos, all meant to ensure that you, the discerning customer, have a happy bundle of steel.

Actually it's a stunt for New Line Cinema's Shoot 'Em Up, which is linked pretty prominently on the homepage. Even so, a PR person still saw fit to shoot us at least three emails this morning about how it was dramatically unveiled as a promotional effort after a long and controversial internet run. (We have serious doubts about this.)

And while we have no idea what that movie has to do with babies, we know it has plenty to do with bullets. And Clive Owen.