While it may be true that Bill Murray does, actually, hang with porn stars, we're thinking if he's good enough to hang with Scarlett Johansson, he probably doesn't need porn stars. Having said that, our favorite text-trashing text link poster child, IntelliTXT thought the "actors" Bill Murray was with when he played golf the other day might need a little help scoring their next gig and helpfully linked them to xxxpornjobs.com. (You do know that's not a work-safe link, don't you?) Don't you just love contextual advertising fuckery?
In one swift blow Ms. Dewey has effectively done away with the stodgy librarian and that other search engine persona that we could never see ourselves warming up to by a fire.
She's saucy, she's sexy, she even poses provocatively from time to time with a cute little notepad - but beware, like most hot chicks she is chatty as hell and gets a little needy when neglected (along the lines of "Hel-loooo? Type something here!"). Also, sometimes she sings. We don't get embarrassed often, but we got embarrassed then. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
OK then. Things just get weirder and weirder. A pig, Red, which recently appeared in a Perlorian Brothers-helmed commercial is apparently set to be slaughtered and the kind folks at Reginald Pike feel sorry for the little guy and want to save him:
My name is Red.
I'm a pig.
Recently I had a supporting role in a television commercial for a major international cellular telephone provider. The commercial was directed by the Perlorian Brothers and written by Mother NY.
Everyone was very nice to me, and I think I did a pretty decent job for my first time on set, but I've since learned that I'm scheduled to be slaughtered in a week. This is not good for an actor's career. I knew it was a non-union job and the residuals weren't anything to get excited about, but I wasn't expecting to be hung by my foot and have my throat slit.
Fortunately, my new friends at Reginald Pike, Toronto, Biscuit, L.A., and Mother are working to find me a new home at a petting zoo (despite all this, I love humans). You can help me too by getting a limited edition t-shirt with my picture on it at http://www.reginaldpike.com
They're only $20 and proceeds go to my care and feeding.
Looks like it's a good month for men and their menstrual issues. Catch Up Lady points us to Men with Cramps, a site about male cramping which has "directly or indirectly influenced all the most important events in our history." Sufferers are invited to participate in a study with the MacInnes and Porritt Institute which houses the illustrious Dr. Fardel. One participant confides that male cramps "Is like a tiny man playing a triangle in my stomach."
If you've ever wondered what a menstrual pad does when it's not between a woman's legs, this video might help provide an answer to that crucial question. In this video for Seventh Generation's chlorine-free feminine products, a guy dressed as a pad goes about his innocuous daily routine just so we can all feel...well...according to the press release "at ease with the topic of periods." Not that anyone educated past grade nine should really have a burning phobia about feminine hygiene but apparently some do, hence the creation of the supposedly educational video. Either that or it's some sick fantasy for guys who like nothing better than to spend the entire day between a woman's legs.
While we'd agree with Adrants reader David Panaccione that breast implants could certainly be categorized as "something that draws a crowd" as this Silpada Jewelry ad opposite a Glamour article on breast implants reads, but we're not sure breast implants give "more time for myself" as the ad also reads. Implants may certainly draw a crowd but if a crowd is drawn, there's not much opportunity to be by oneself. Anyway, the juxtaposition of thr ad and the article is marginally odd.
Something that may (or may not, depending on how you look at it) appeal to the vast expanse of red states in the country: PETA puts the heat down on non-human milk drinkers by reminding us that if Virgin Mary's vitamin-rich human milk was good enough for Jesus, so too should we stick with the good stuff.
This would be neat and even meaningful if not for the fact that, once you're over the age of maybe three, it's a social faux-pas for milk-lovers to latch themselves to a nipple and partake (depending on how you look at it). Then again, people get riled up over the topic of breastfeeding anyway so here's a sanction from us: guess it doesn't really matter how old you are. Suckle away. -Contributed by Angela Natividad
According to Animal, New York's MTA is dramatically stretching the definition of a city block in a currently running poster campaign which declares the "Diamond District" an actual neighborhood. The kicker? The diamond district consists of barely one block. We wonder just how many neighborhoods the city would consist of if this definition became widespread.
There aren't many people who use the term "brand spanking new" let alone use it to announce a "brand spanking new website" let along film four thong-clad women actually spanking each other while jumping up and down on a gigantic bouncy castle. But, there are some and biker insurance company Bennetts, located in the UK, is one. If you're interested in biker insurance or, more likely, even if you're not, wallow in the silliness that these three spots deliver and remember, we work in the same industry from which these wondrous creations came. For its pure foolishness, we like it. Ariel, not so much.
We're sure this Captain Your Halloween promotion and accompanying cheesy DRTV-style commercial are supposed to be kitsch-filled fun but, we just don't see it. Perhaps it's seeing grown adults in Halloween costumes meant for kids. Perhaps it's a liquor company's trying to make a kid's holiday into an adult's holiday. Perhaps it's just Captain Morgans' attempt to be dumb in order to be seen ad funny when it's really just dumb in the first place.