Heartbeat + Shaky Camera + Drug Addled Hipsters = NATO Huh?

Yea. Give this a watch and let us know why the hell it looks like a bunch of kidnapped hipsters end up happily raving the thump of a DJ. Oh wait.

The tagline line informs, "Freedom to do what you want. We help that happen."

The other two videos are equally strange.

So yea, we get the campaign's message. And that was before we watched the Making Of video. But still.

Malibu Bowling is Now A Downloadable Game!

As if there weren't already enough to do with your "there's an app for that" iPhone. Now, we've got a bowling game courtesy of Malibu Rum. In two kooky (yes, we did say kooky) commercials, we are encouraged to get our game on.

A Rastafarian-esque announcer screams, "Malibu Bowling is now a downloadable game for your mobile phone!" But in these spots, a real game of bowling is played...with melons...that smash against walls. Hmm. Alcohol? Large round objects. Yes, that makes sense.

See the spots here and here.

'Tunnel' Bestows Just Desserts on Unsuspecting Drivers

If you walk away with just one lesson from "Tunnel," it ought to be that there's no major difference between a gold-digger and a crateful of chickens. Also, watch for malevolent tunnels that play three-card monty with the contents of cars.

This strange brew brought to you by Mother/London and production co Rattling Stick for la nouvelle Stella Artois 4 (--percent, that is).

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Rule of Thumb: Before Molesting Strangers with Nipple Tassles, Be Famous.

Berlin agency Aimaq Rapp Stolle promotes HEAD's new "Speed" racquet with a little extra-extra action from Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic. Apparently Speed makes him so virile that he manages to run into the aisle and spit game at a blonde before the ball even returns to him.

But "spit game" is an understatement; the guy busts out with balloon animals (which would've been enough to impress us), boy band moves, nipple tassles, and seals (both animal and Navy).

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Hire My Mom. Because I'm Tired of Eating Cereal Out of an Ashtray.*

We need to create a new category labeled "Overseen Internet," expressly for stuff that we stumble upon by chance and haven't got words for. This banner ad for Hire My Mom is one such gem.

The URL's actually slightly deceptive -- it caters to mom professionals, not kids hoping to score a gig for Mummy, who's busy drowning her sorrows in a bathrobe and gin. Still though.

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Vodafone Unleashes Mad Zoozoos on India

To promote Vodafone's wares in India, Ogilvy dreamt up a small community of incoherent, maniacally laughing, wingless birds called Zoozoos.

Mostly the Zoozoos do terrible things to each other and laugh. Each piece ends with some trite tie-in back to Vodafone.

The spots debuted during the Indian Premier League cricket tourney. (Appropriately, "Cricket Alerts" is embedded below. See more ads here.)

The magic of the Zoozoos lies in that they look animated but aren't. They're actually played by real people wearing white. You can find out what kind of Zoozoo you are at the Vodafone microsite. (Uh, diggin' how response 4 in question 1 automatically assumes you're a guy. But I guess if all Zoozoos have a package like this one, it goes without saying.)

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Our Balls Are Crunchier Than Yours

There's just something wrong with food that resembles left over KFC chicken breading that's congealed to the point where it's nothing more than a fat-laden ball of over-cooked floor scraps. Perhaps Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Clusters aren't quite that disgusting but we (apparently) have a problem with food that, well, doesn't look like food.

Why Pay Clear Channel When There's Fuzzy Bob on 5th and Market?*

There's a lot you can say about dot-coms in general, but you'd be hard-pressed to accuse them of being too scrupulous.

Because it's your industry too, beam with pride while observing how easy it is to place your outdoor work in high-traffic areas for 1/16th of the price. That's right! -- ride the homeless!

Bumvertising.com was developed by Front Door Enterprises, whose founder Benjamin Rogovy recognized the "enormous potential in wasted homeless labor." He also thinks bums "will incur higher revenues from donations" if it seems like they're at least flirting with joining the labor force.

See Bumvertising mini-drama below.

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Sasquatch is Back For Jack Link's Beef Jerky

Three years ago, Sasquatch wandered the woods for Jack Link's Beef Jerky. Now he's dancing atop an iPhone for Living Sasquatch, a site on which you can make your own Sasquatch movie. Somehow this sell beef jerky. We're not quite sure how though.

When High Blood Pressure Is A Good Thing

Oh how we love us a weird-ass, whacked out Japanese television commercial. This one, which, yes, is old, is for Suntory tea which claims to help those with high blood pressure. Though it's a very good thing the guy in this commercial has high blood pressure. Nothing like putting a positive spin on a health issue.

Sadly, we'll never see commercials like this here in America. Luckily, Japan hasn't yet heard of cause groups whose sole purpose is to remove every last vestige of humor from our lives...and from all out TV commercials.