Wow. And you thought we obsessed over the beautiful people who appear in advertisements? CNBC's Darren Rovell has taken it to a new level with his effort to track down ripped volleyball player Nora Tobin to find out why she appeared in a recent FRS ad.
Rovell has searched the internet, made phone calls, spoken to a photographer who shot her and, yes, put out an "all points bulletin" to Tobin hoping she'll contact him and tell him her story. Even we aren't that creepy.
Oh wait, is he practicing "real" journalism? OK. It all makes sense now.
If ever there were a commercial which made us not want to be associated in any way with the product being advertised, it would be this Clemenger BBDO-created commercial for Campbell's Chunky Fully Loaded soup.
Seriously. It's like a bunch of Darwin Award winners crossed with Evil Knievel wannabes in search of McGuyver.
Two guys are in a car. The passenger, who's inconsiderately grubbing, mistakenly drops a McDonald's french fry between the seats, compelling the driver to turn to him with a short, harsh "Dude" -- shorthand for "You better pick that shit up and fast."
If you've ever wondered what happens to the stuff lost in motor vehicle ether, here's your chance. Spare change, ballpen caps and -- yes, mislaid fries -- become window trimmings in a universe composed of lost souls, toiling for the pleasure of a crazed, invisible god.
Shoe firm TerraPlana has this new technology called Vivo Barefoot, which gives shoes the power to stimulate your sensory perception "every time you touch the ground."
Not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds suspiciously like broken shock absorbers.
Anywho, to show how free and awesome your feet are gonna feel, the company's disseminating a video called "Pian-Toe."
Bigger is always better, right? Well, at least when it comes to boobs and...wait. what, cameras? Yes, according to Nikon (or whomever created this ad which may or may not be real), like a D cup versus a B cup, 3 million pixels are better than 2 million pixels.
Given this ad refers to 2 and 3 megapixels, it's quite clear it's is several years old. And given current cameras average 8-10 megapixels, were this ad to run today, the poor model on the right would be so big, she wouldn't fit in the frame. And then Nikon would have to start promoting wide angle lenses and then...well, who knows where it would end.
Probably one of the scariest things about human trafficking is that it's kinda like objectification brought to the lowest common denominator: you're not just eyeballing someone like a slab of meat; you're actually treating the person like an item on which you can impose your will.
Bringing this idea to stark relief, the German arm of Amnesty International celebrated the 60th anniversary of human rights in 2008 with "Frau im Koffer" ("Woman in Suitcase"), a guerrilla effort where a live contortionist was squeezed into a transparent suitcase and tossed onto a conveyor belt in baggage claim.
Hmm. So U.K retailer Marks & Spencer runs an ad to apologize for charging more for its larger sized bras because, well, they have more fabric and they cost more to make but they run the ad with the headline, "We boobed," as if equating boobs to a mistake.
So, Marks & Spencer, are you saying breasts - of any size - are a mistake? Hmm. Not a very nice thing to say when you make your money holding up half the world's chests.
Oy. When will we stop the prejudicial hateraid parade towards any woman with more than a mere ant hill on her chest?
In the movie Bulworth, Warren Beatty said, "If we all fucked each other we'd eventually end up the same color." That statement was meant to imply racial tension is caused by the differences among the people of the world and it could all be solved if we all just hopped in the sack with each other.
If you applied that logic to the world of finance, you might end up with this commercial from German finance company Bontrust in which German pianist Clara Schumann, the face of the 100 DM hops into the sack with America's Abe Lincoln for some stimulating economic activity which results in what would appear to be profitable co-mingling.
But Abe isn't the one one who gets in on the action.
If it weren't for Japan, advertising would be pretty boring. Sure, America pumps out a few gems each year but it seems gems are all Japan is capable of. That or the country is just really, really weird. Or...their normal and we just think they're weird. Or, they just have a fixation with young girls in cheerleader uniforms and large rubber ducks emulating Godzilla. Or...oh, whatever. You decide.
This commercial was created by Mother London so everything we just said could be...rubbish as the Brits would say and all this is just one culture's twisted view of another's.
We like to think our Adrants headlines, on occasion, are snark-filled gems of wit and pithiness but this particular headline wasn't written by us. Apparently, it was written by a copywriter whose first language is, it would seem, not English. Or the ad was carelessly pushed through some automated translation software which, as we all know, never ends well.
Add to that boner (look it up. the word doesn't have just one meaning) of a headline the expulsion of a milky white substance, some creepy fireman shapes and a woman who looks quite pleased after she swallows and you've got an ad that, well, would be right at home as an SNL spoof...if they were allowed to go that far on broadcast television.
What's it all about? Some kind of heartburn medicine from Gaviscon.