- The American Cancer Society is hosting a Great American Smokeout today. How liberating. Excuse me while I light up.
- New Anheuser-Busch InBev logo fails to be a turn-on.
- Google is shuttering virtual world Lively, which it launched in July. Guffaw.
- Honeyshed's hurtin' for suitors.
- Clean your free t-shirt with our product. That's confidence.
- Hello Kitty Beaujolais Nouveau -- the bastard child of all things commercial, cavity-inducing and just generally wrong (or right?) with the universe.
- Oh snap, my email just went retro.
This, by far, has to be the strangest tourism ad we've ever seen. Talking snowflakes? Who "hook up?" And awkwardly complain about it? Well it's Utah and there's a lot of snow there so it kinda makes sense. Kinda.
- This...has nothing to do with anything. Call it a commercial break from all the...uh...commercials when through at you every day.
- And that video still of a woman in sexy lingerie? Just a tad misleading?
- Stranger tactics have been used to sell things but paint ball guns for...a coffee maker?
- Seriously. How the hell do you make a Photoshop error as obvious is this?
Riffing on some vague notion that Australia isn't sophisticated enough to conceive of "exotic" naturally-grown foods or handbags worth more than cars, the NRMA's "Unworry" ad invites simple Aussies to "uncomplicate, unstress and" -- naturally -- "unworry."
"We we once dubbed the Clever country, now I'm afraid we're the Un-clever country," whines the guy that sent this to us. "Our poor schooling has finally shown it's head in the workforce and is being broadcast without a comment."
...Was that supposed to be a joke?
Just another idea by our good (if lazy) friend Chuck, who hashes it out like so:
"Give adult entertainment production companies such as Evil Angel and Vivid Entertainment limited rights to music from upcoming video games for use in their adult films, six months to a year ahead of release.
"The soundtracks for most adult films are fairly pathetic, and I am sure that many companies would welcome free, quality music for their films."
Chuck's previous epiphanies have included porno product placement
-- but lest you fool yourself into thinking he's a one-track kinda dude, consider this: he also came up with Hacky Snacks
(complete with working prototype!) and, um, candy cane chopsticks
. Better for the environment, I guess, but potentially also extremely sticky.
Goes to show there are still a few unturned tricks left in advertising. (Pun much intended.) So think like Chuck. Or steal his ideas. Which, oddly enough, is what he wants you to do. (Just send him a kickback once in awhile.)
It's funny about this subsite. For a few seconds I seriously thought it was for a phone called the Pomegranate NS08 -- which I had already begun to covet more than anything else I've ever wanted, ever.
Then I realized it's unlikely that a phone -- even one with email, internet, GPS, music and a camera -- will actually shave your face, brew coffee or double as a harmonica. (Though it's easy to picture scenarios where all those value-adds would be useful.) So, taking my cues from the site motif, I concluded this must be a campaign promoting the universal merits of the pomegranate fruit.
I hit "Release Date" and got a message that kind of seemed to corroborate my theory:
Someday you'll be able to get everything you want in one device. Today you can get everything you want in one place.
Followed by the product reveal, which did
blow my mind because it struck me as so utterly improbable:
It's not immediately clear what's going on in this spot for Microsoft's Zune, featuring Common and Afrika Bambaataa. In it, a girl puts Common's Universal Mind Control on the spin. She gives props for it, then Common and Afrika Bambaataa leap out of a cloud of images and start sparring over it.
At first the whole thing rang like a poorer rendition of HP's "Hands" campaign, which does a good job of connecting the essence of a celebrity to the machine he's using.
Remember The Wolf, the cool operative summoned in Pulp Fiction to clean up the remains of a guy who had his brains blown out in a moving car?
UK-based cleanup firm Clearway riffs off that unseemly scenario with the ad at left -- "No job too big, no job too awful" -- depicting bloody furniture and a distinctly man-shaped stain. Among other things.
The ad was banned for obvious (read: "excessively graphic, offensive and distressing") reasons. Obtusely defensive, Clearway insists the piece is "an accurate portrayal of the work they undertook on a daily basis."
Which I guess is one way of saying Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino -- or their gun-and-butcher's-knife-swinging muses -- get open tab when they're in town.
That's the question my friend Elinora asks herself every time she sees this suspiciously meditative ad for Dove Go Fresh Body Mist, "in the same cool scents as Go Fresh deodorants." Variants include women in flowing dresses or underpants, writhing in harmony as little Dove logos waft around their armpits, tummies and legs.
Then one day, waiting impatiently for Life: Black Friday to return on Hulu, it hit her like a ton of bird-shaped bricks: "IT'S COOCH SPRAY!" she shrieked.
I don't know if she primed me for it or what, but the ad does have that timeless Massengill flair. "Mom, do you ever feel, you know ... not so fresh?"
Tagline on the Dove spot vibes almost like a tip-off: "Go beyond fresh."
Just how many social networks do you belong to? Well, here's another one for you. It's called Creatives Connect. All the cool kids are on it from Ty Montague to Andrew Keller to Bob Greenberg to Tony Granger to Pete Favatt to Bob Scarpelli to Jeff Goodby to Marie-Catherine Dupay.
They're all laughing and having a such good time. Bob sent me a personal invitation and I think I'm going to join up right away. You should too. Especially if you want to win an ANDY.