You'd have the best of two depraved worlds: a gaudy lustfest and some seriously decadent cake. Kind of like the ad at left, which was ganked out of last month's Travel and Leisure magazine.
Tagline: "Everything's sexier in Paris Las Vegas." I don't know about sexy, but it's sort of pretty after a few Pernods, and David Hasselhoff makes the occasional cameo. Plus, who can beat rooms starting at $89? Okay, okay, besides Circus Circus.
You've probably seen the American version of this iPhone ad, and you've probably not thought twice about it, but the United Kingdom ain't having any.
The Advertising Standards Authority argues the ad suggests iPhone users have access to all the parts of the internet, which technically isn't true. Two viewers complained, and the ad's been pulled.
If Apple wants to run it, it'll have to give Mr. Voiceover something less, oh, all-encompassing to say.
In addition to protecting big spenders from Apple's appalling dishonesty, the ASA's also railed against mascara deception, erosion of religious values and unsafe car dancing. Unrealistic depictions of nipple elasticity are okay though, because bright citizens know better than be to duped by that.
Good to know there's a discerning body keeping the UK safe from uninhibited agency machinations.
Some people look ad ads and see one thing. Others look and see quite another. That seems to be the case with a recent billboard for the Portsmouth Historic Dockyard in England. What could be seen as a perfectly representative image depicting life at sea back in the day when men were men and women had a raw deal, others see as representative of another form of life at sea. One which portrays a very different sort of relationship between a captain and his mates.
What's that saying? Oh yea. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Or something.
- Calvin Klein hopes a new e-commerce subsite will help it unload some "white label" (that is, very expensive but still mostly nylon and cotton) sports gear.
- For marketers hoping to retain a healthy base of Internet Explorer users, IE8 might turn cookies into a sometimes friend. Its InPrivate feature blocks them and automatically clears users' browsing histories once they end a session. Some writers are fondly calling it "porn mode."
- Free din-din at Google: officially off-limits, unless you happen to be an engineer. Not to worry, less twitchy Googlers won't starve. Lunch and breakfast remain a perk.
- PhotoShelter is selling some of its photographers' work as limited-edition art. Check out the existential phone booth.
So if you're one of those types who can't be bothered with the elitism, skill, finesse and general snottiness of tennis, you just might love this promotional spot for the WWE's Unforgiven pay-per-view event. In the spot, the WWE's Undertaker, acting as referee, shuts down Andy Roddick for complaining about one of the Undertaker's calls. And really, a sport that's totally fake, is played by idiotic buffoons and would make a space alien think twice about making contact with the human race is so much better than a namby pamby sport like tennis, right?
Three high school kids stand at the side of a track. One pulls out some chewing tobacco, then everyone's attention is captured by a rabbit with antlers. Bad taxonomy job? The creature spits tobacco out on the kids, everybody goes "Daaaang," suddenly somebody's missing a front tooth, and the moral is, don't chew tobacco.
"Dip. It can make your teeth fall out!"
By EnviroMedia for Spit It Out Texas. I don't get it. Off-topic, anti-tobacco ads -- no matter how disgusting -- always make me nostalgic for Big League Chew.
"Another box of Kleenex, one more forest gooooone!" That's part of Greenpeace's freaky new campaign song, inspired by the motion picture Wall*E. The group reimagined the doe-eyed, trash-smushing robot as the descendant of eco-antagonist Kleer*E, which -- in their words -- "gobbles up forests and spits out boxes of Kleenex."
Political cartoonist Mark Fiore produced the vid, available here. What was cute is now sinister, all part and parcel of Greenpeace's ongoing Kleercut campaign -- an effort to litter Kleenex's family-friendly brand persona with tree carcasses, wood splinters and warped, nightmarish jingles.
"Tell Kimberly-Clark to stop the Iron*E!" puns Greenpeace shamelessly. Once the goosebumps go down, though, I have to admit it's all very charming in a twisted sort of way.
MediaBuys, LLC has launched a web destination called Greedy People, where, according to the Flash intro, "People will do just about anything for MONEY." Think of it as Bragster with a desperate twang, or Digital Panhandler 2.0.
Users can earn cash for just about anything, and I mean anything. There's a dude on here apparently willing to pay somebody $25 to buy tampons for his "crazy feminist girlfriend." And another guy who'll pay $250 for somebody to talk to his dead relatives. (No prior experience necessary.)
Hell, the economy's weak; here's one more space that's raining money. See print ads here. (Down the right-hand side of the pressie.)
It's probably a bit cruel to point this out but it's the sort of thing we're supposed to do here at Adrants. Today, in Advertising Age, Ray Ally, apparently for lack of any other sort of information remotely related to advertising, wrote a piece about the Chinese volleyball cheerleaders which veered off to the apparent culture shock of seeing Beijing women in bikinis, the cheerleader selection process and a mini-dissertation on the merits of dark and light-skinned Chinese women.
But that's not the cruel part. Have a look at the bikini-clad hotties accompanying the article. Then have a look at Ally's picture. Absolutely no disrespect is intended but the man looks like he's in some sort of transfixed state due, perhaps, to having ogled the bountiful gyrations of all those bikini-clad hotties for so long.
You can't really blame the man though. Bikinis will do that to a guy.
Ooh, ooh, new time-wasting website. The makers of I Can Has Cheezburger?, home to many LOLcats, have launched Engrish Funny. And yeah, it's exactly what you think it is: random pictures of really crappy Asian-English translations. Diggin' the Domo favicon and rating system.