Idiotic Oracle Dispenses Pointless Rubbish, WhoDo Fixes

From the company GotThingsDone, which provides productivity tools, comes Follow the Oracle, a site on which you can "0btain all the answers to the typical questions of people involved in Project Management." Trouble is, the Oracle's an idiot and can't help you at all. So after a few minutes of idiocy, you can click your way over to GotThingsDone's project management tool, WhoDo and leave the idiot behind.

Marketing is an Investment; 200+ Pages Say Why (and Eventually, How)

Here's a somewhat interesting read.

Young and Aitken's Profitable Marketing Communications encourages marketers to think about marketing the way Warren Buffett thinks about investing (yes, at some point they make that connection): as a quantifiable value-add, with a focus on targeting platforms as opposed to diversifying.

A few decent case studies (brands include Samsung and Unisys) are included, and emphasis is placed on measuring campaign ROI, which we hear lots about but don't see much of.

To get the most value for your buck you might want to skip straight to chapters 12 and 13 ("Leverage Your Employee Capital" and "Is Your Organization Marketing ROI-Fit?") which finally cuts the bull and gets into how you, too, can implement some of this advice.

The book concludes with "Happy investing," possibly its best instance of straightforward message delivery. In the end, it was a lot like reading Malcolm Gladwell, but not as funny, and Benjamin Graham, but not as informative.

Behold: The SEO World's Response to the Inexplicable Success of 'The Secret'

Given: It's hard to make SEO interesting or even appealing to marketers who would rather be designing graphics for a direct mailer or fantasizing about making music videos.

MRP Web Media gives us The Lost Brad Tapes, a compilation of the world traveler's attempts to become a website success. Supposedly these tapes have just been liberated from a vault, where they were wrongfully hidden on account of their incendiary nature (you know, kind of like The Secret).

In the first installation we find our hero in the desert, talking to a disembodied voice who is supposed to represent a website sage. He reminded us of James Brown, which resulted in us looking up James Brown clips for half an hour in order to validate this resemblance. It turns out he doesn't sound much like James Brown at all.

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So You Want to Work in Advertising? Read This First

For those of you just getting into the ad biz, Advergirl has some important tips for you. You might already know this but, despite what you may have been told, you ain't getting any training. You've been hired to put out and avoid fires for your boss. And, contrary to what you might think, you've also been hired to take the heat when your boss screws up. Just avoid all that crap by reading Advergirl's list and you'll avoid most of the ad jungle animals' tricks.

Simpson's Bazaar, Disco Dreams, Eyewonder Calls, Mops Orgasm

- In the ever expanding quest to make sure every inch of media space contains some elements of its campaign, the Simpson's Movie campaign has hit the pages of Harpers' Bazaar.

- Grow Interactive has created Disco Dream Ride, a site which promotes Lance Armstrong's fan club and the Discovery Channel Pro Cycling Team. Visotors can webcam themselves and affix their heads to character on the site Trailer Crashers-style.

- Eyewonder has launched a Click-to-Call feature or its rich media ad units.

- Naked people, cock rings and orgasm mops get it on for Method cleaning products. These are the ComeClean people.

- The "world's most boring movie" is supposed to promote paint. We think not.

- Here's the full length Obama Girl vs. Giuliani Girl video we tipped last week.

- First there was Diet Coke and Mentos. Now, there's Carlsberg and Mentos. And it's bad. Really, really bad.

Sears' Die Hard Click-to-Call Doesn't

We're thinking if Sears were to partner with eStara on a click-to-call, battery promotion project, the two might actually want the thing to work. Perhaps, we just caught them at a busy time. Although, we wonder how many people are really buying batteries at 12:30 AM. It's all working fine now but it's random glitches like this that insure POTS (plan old telephone service) will always have a place in this world.

Page View Dead, Jane Dead, Heavy Drifts, Simpsons Market, Flickr Up

- The death of the page view is now a reality. As of today, Nielsen is expected to announce it will no longer base its ranking on page views but rather time spent on the site. Stickiness is the new auto-reload. Of course, time spent and page view are just one metric among many used based on campaign goals. All have their place.

- Heavy.com and Castrol have launched Heavy Tuning Channel to celebrate the art of drifting.

- Rohit Bhargava has gathered together all the varied methods of marketing used for the upcoming Simpsons movie.

- Following a two year, last ditch effort to rejuvenate Jane magazine, Conde Nast is folding the publication, shuttering the website and bidding adieu to employees.

- Hitwise reports Flickr traffic is up 38 percent over the past four weeks following Yahoo's shut down of its Yahoo Photos and its inclusion of Flickr photos.

- Copyrranter ain't liking the new Ad Council PSA for youth alcohol abuse.

Online Ad Spend Up 29 Percent, Games Measured

- Zenith Optimedia sees a 29 percent growth to $33.5 billion in online ad budgets for 2007 and 23 percent to $41.2 billion in 2008. Over the four year period 2006-2009, the organization predict an overall 82 percent increase for online advertising to 47.4 billion while all media growth for the period nets out to 13 percent growth.

- Sony and Nielsen hammering out a metrics method for online console gaming.

- Nokia has given Wieden + Kennedy the thankless job of handling it $300 million account just at Apple's iPhone is set to take over the world.

- Following the July 12 One Show Design Awards, the winners will be on display at the Chelsea Art Museum from July 13 to July 21. Viewing is open to the public or a fee.

Google Reports, Spending Decreased, JWT UnBolded, Upfront Pricey

- Google has launched Placement Performance for AdWords providing advertisers detailed information on how each site within their buy is performing.

- TNS Media Intelligence has revised its 2007 ad forecast downward from a previously predicted growth rate of 2.6 percent to 1.7 percent.for a total spend of $152.3 billion within the media it measures.

- Oh JWT, how we feel for you. It seems Ford doesn't think it's getting all it can from the agency and has reached out to two WPP sibs for new ideas. We said it last year; your move was not bold.

- Well this is logical. Since television rations are sliding downward because of new Nielsen metrics discovering reduced viewing levels, the networks want brands to pay even more for even less during this year's upfronts.

- Copyranter thinks Strawberry Frog's new self promoting "t-shirt test" ad is properly filed under his "agencies are stupid" category.

- Personal Life Media CEO is featured on DoubleClick's NerveCenter series to discuss the world of social marketing.

Cuckoo Brings Big Boy Advertising to Mom-and-Pop Credit Unions

Welcome to the brave new world of ready-to-wear advertising. Cuckoo Campaigns enables small credit unions to compete against major banks with its stock marketing service.

Basic packages start at $4,500. You just pick a campaign that you like and a Cuckoo rep will deliver a fully-produced campaign within a month.

The only other things you really need are a ready-made swatch of suits, in campaign colors, and a peppy personality to match the shiny new veneer. We doubt Cuckoo helps with those but we're sure there's another firm out there that will.