No One's Watching That YouTube Video You Paid For

MultiVu, a service of PRNewswire, will help you create and distribute a multimedia news release to "more than 100 million consumers and investors who get their news and information on the Web."

If you have a company video or ad embedded into your release, MultiVu will share it on popular sites like YouTube and Veoh as part of its distribution service. Pretty cool, right? It's not all good though.

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Don't Stop at Shaking Your Ass. SHAKE TA LIFE.

Viacom is the parent company behind a covert French mobile phone promotion called Shake Ta Life (probably the most wince-worthy Franglais EVAR), where, with one quick shake, phones do all kinds of wild and wonderful things to improve the lives of their MTV-enslaved owners.

An on-site phone customizing doohickey lets you select what you want a phone to do (make you sexier, make a kebab) and how you'd like it to look (girly, glamrock, gothic, geeky).

I put together a geeky kebab-making phone. That's the thing at left. It probably smells nice.

The brand behind the madness will be revealed on April 16th. Try not to stay up fretting over it. Instead, ponder on this: wouldn't it be cool if your phone had a foosball table?

Now There's a Home for Your Lame Home-Made Sports Videos

That home is "Homestyle Sports."

And when I say "home," I mean a bonafide online show complete with hosts (Dan and Adam!), sponsor (Champion!) and a big-ass box of swag, which Dan and Adam explore between candid sports takes.

The whole thing's kinda like watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" except with two Bob Sagets, a lot of balls and some hoodies.

To be part of all the fear and loathing, upload your own clips to Break.com or YouTube.com/homestylesports. Be sure to tag them with "homestylesports."

Flickr Users Protest Video, iJustine Says Quit Being A Btchr

What the hell? Flickr decides to make it possible for users to upload videos along with their photos and what do some people do? That's right. They bitch, complaining Flickr is only for photos as if people who take and look at pictures NEVER, EVER, EVER take or watch videos. WTF? Justine tells all the video mimbys to quit being Bitchrs.

Feed Company Drops Stats on Zune 'Masks' Effort

Hey, remember that Zune Masks spot? Feed Company, which seeded it on YouTube and elsewhere, sent us metrics on how well it fared.

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Xiaxue Was iJustine Before Justine Became iJustine

Back in 2004, Singapore hottie Wendy Cheng, aka Xiaxue was just a blogger. But a very popular blogger. in Singapore, at least. Then, in 2005, a t-shirt company LocalBrand approached her to become their brand ambassador. It was sort of a big deal back then for a brand to tap the popularity of a blogger.

Xiaxue was sort of like iJustine before iJustine became iJustine.

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Yahoo Taps Google, Webby Would-Bes Go Live, BMW Gets Tagged, and the Most Beautiful Marker We've Ever Seen

- YAHOO'S PARTNERING WITH GOOGLE FOR SEARCH ADS OMG. Whew. Glad that's out of the way.

- Here is the Webby Awards list of nominees.

- Barkley's Bad Gift Emporium, which makes e-cards like the treasury of memorable Hillary expressions at left, was nominated for a Weird Webby. It's weird and all, but can it beat Cute Overload? (See reclining pug and potent pandas.) Vote here.

- Tag a BMW on Facebook.

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Come On. Deforestation is JUST LIKE Plucking Out Earth's Chest Hair.

Here's a video that will make you think about deforestation in a painful, deeply personal way. Try not to cry.

Except this metaphor doesn't really hold. Because after that virgin pluck session, you get all rhino-skinned and totally impervious to the pain of losing your hair, one at a time, in an agonizingly slow manner.

I know this. I have conducted studies on my own anatomy.

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'Good Lord, What Are You Doing?' Why, Ordering GTA IV, of Course

It's a teaser for Grand Theft Auto IV! There's girls with thongs, multiethnic gangsters (so Epcot), bloody cops, and one-liners that would make Scorsese shoot a puppy. (What is it about bad dialogue that makes violence funny? Maybe Elmo knows.)

GTA IV comes out on April 29th. And did we mention in-game music will be available for purchase? True story. Earmark the croons you like, in the next car you steal, with a handy-dandy in-game mobile phone. Amazon keeps track. The song in this spot is "Real McKoy" by Mavado.

Ahh, the sweet smell of sex, drugs and urban misery. We have officially wandered out of the Coke side of life.

Witch Uglies Down, Reporters Get Mauled, Public Health Stickers Litter Life

- Milk makes baby-eating witches insecure about their looks. Dude. Did she just try passing her wart off as a mole?

- Cops with Slingbox and a bullhorn wreak havoc. "Haaands up. COME ON, THREE POINTER!"

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