Cyclists have it hard down under. All those hours pushing pedals literally chafes balls, which is funny from a distance but sobering enough that the condition requires an anti-irritant, aptly called "chamois cream."
To contribute to the well-being of fellow bikers, pro cyclist David Zabriskie developed a cream called DZ Nuts -- pronounced "deez nuts," a colloquial expression defined as "The large, sweaty, hairy dangling spheres of man-hood containing future illegitimate seeds that swing violently in the wind when slapped."
If only every house was this nice and every kid this cute. Wait, what? this is advertising. Of course every house is perfect and every kid a cutie. Especially if it's...a Walmart commercial? Hmm...maybe it's because everything at Walmart is so cheap everyone can actually afford to have a nice house.
The cute kids? Not sure Walmart has much control the cuteness of its customer's offspring. That power comes from, yes, an ad agency...where all kids are cute and perfect and where every slice of life tastes perfect.
Created by The Martin Agency, the spot, Christmas Morning, is airing this week. And for even more of the perfect life, check out the Stock Up on Joy, a microsite the agency created for Walmart and Coke.
Life. Is. Perfect.
To hype the launch of the LG KP500 Cookie touch screen phone in Thailand, Malaysia, Brazil and the United Kingdom, some cruel soul thought they'd trap a stick man inside the phone. This video is the outcome of that creative genius. The poor guy manages to get out once only to be stuffed back inside for a lifetime of torture.
Anything to sell a phone.
This Christmas card from Manchester-based AHD imaging in which an out of work computer-generated character, AHD168, finds itself homeless and destitute strikes a cord. With this one video, AHD has accomplished two things; it's wished everyone a Happy Christmas and it's looking for work, something a lot of companies are doing these days.
So come on, help out an unemployed animation (company).
In this tiny burg populated by upright-standing pickles, the townsfolk come out, don hats and carol for the viewing pleasure of omnivorous predators.
All's well until a giant hand reaches down and takes a big noisy bite out of a baby pickle -- right after his solo. The savage! Mangled bits of soured cucumber fall from the sky, a disturbing yellow stain splashes across the snow, bystanders vomit relish ... and the miracle of singing dill becomes a wretched crime scene.
By Firehouse/Dallas, which, as of this moment, are the only people we want to invite to our birthday party.
- Pepsi blocks other non-alcoholic beverages from entire first half (!!!) of next year's Super Bowl. And Halftime! Now that's just gluttonous.
- To promote its Scott Shop Towels ("like paper towels but way tougher," the PR folk explained), Kimberly Clark goes on safari for grills gone wild!.
- Bill Green lends valuable insight on how to gain a near-instant boost in Twitter followers.
- Evil Dead -- the Musical.
- If the Peanuts crew were an ad agency, Lucy would be the obnoxiously bitchy, but refreshingly honest, Christmas party organizer. And Linus would be an AD. (The security blanket should've been the tip-off.)
- Powder Blue trailer strips Jessica Biel down to her bare minerals. Eat your heart out, Natalie Portman! (Neither link is SFW.)
- Burger King's King loses wallet.
After knocking a few drinks back, a svelte and shit-faced Mrs. Claus powers up the video cam and asks the kiddies around the world for a few friendly favors.
One of them: forego the mantlepiece cookies for a rice cake this year. "Sometimes when mama wants some sugar, she wants to be able to find the cane! -- if you know what I mean."
Yes, Mrs. Claus, we do. One drink later, she also solicits aid getting St. Nick to give her more love down South.
- Detroit-based writer, Mandy, was recently laid off. On her blog, she shares the drama and emotion that goes with losing one's job.
- Charlie Brown and crew illustrate how an agency goes through the process of creating a Christmas card.
- The I'm Just Sayin' Show dissects the Jessica Alba Photoshop Debacle.
- The House voted in favor of the auto industry bail out...sorry...bridge loan.
- Santa Claus is dead.
Bummer. Even beloved Hulu has fallen prey to the dreaded AWKWARD AD PLACEMENT. While Adrants reader Roger viewed the Saturday Night Live Jizz in My Pants clip, which carried the pre-roll notice "the following material originally aired at 12:40AM and may not be suitable for younger viewers," he was presented with an ad banner for Big Brothers Big Sisters.
It's not that anyone viewing this clip isn't a perfectly decent person worthy of being made aware of Big Brothers and Big Sisters. It's just the association could be seen by some as awkward.
As of this writing, the Big Brothers Big Sisters ad is still atop the clip. Jizzing aside, it's always nice to see Molly Sims and Jamie Lynn Sigler. Apparently, as the video proves, it was nice for the boys to see them as well.
Earlier this year, Snapple ran an ad to promote its new antioxidant-enriched water. It featured a guy leaping around in a bubblewrap world to the semi-infectious Cat's Meow by The Bad Eliots.
The commercial didn't exactly fare swimmingly, but Snapple's seed firm M80 claims it drummed up plenty of interest for The Bad Eliots in the blogosphere and elsewhere. So, partly to help them out and partly to make itself look more creatively robust, Snapple helped The Bad Eliots produce and release a snazzy new music video.
It's quirky and low-def, making it obvious blogger bait.