Nike Gear Turns TV Actress into Ninja.

Wanna bamboozle the same daft friends who thought Kobe Bryant really jumped over a speeding Aston Martin?

Then sit them down and share this video of Gossip Girl actress Tyler Momsen escaping the paparazzi -- with help from her loud blue Nike sneaks. And possibly some training tips from Spiderman.

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Brace Yourself For Lebron James

On January 18, 2009, Lebron James will announce his "first love." Will it be football? Will it be basketball? Will it be to become a rapper? Those are the speculations surrounding a recently released video in which James faces an audience and says, "First of all, I want to thank everyone for coming out here today. After having a long discussion with friends and family, I've decided to follow my first love."

Thankfully, we won't have to speculate for much longer but it's likely this is tied to Nike. If it were simply an announcement as to his desire to play another sport or become a rapper, there'd likely not be paid advertising on Google promoting the video.

Whatever. We'll know Sunday.

UPDATE: One theory points to his first love being Reebok and all this is is yet another marketing stunt.

Slendertone Will Make You Blow.

Check out "First Time," the first-ever online video attempt by a company called Slendertone.

Put together by Publicis, the video depicts individuals, couples and groups either grinning or standing around uncertainly -- before their faces explode with either alarmed or joygasmic expressions.

The ad leaves you to guess what Slendertone actually does, but especially curious users are invited to visit slendertone.com, where all is revealed.*

Until you actually go out of your way to do that, however, you'll probably be standing around going, "It's a vibrator, right? Or an orgy-inducing party game?"

Probably doesn't help that at some point, the feel-good background song exclaims, "I'm about to blow, yeah!"

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Durex Knows About Your Balloon Animal Thing.

We all hit an age where our innocence is lost and we should be kept away from balloon animals at all costs.

Know why? Because, given the opportunity, we'll grab two and make them hump each other, either out of boredom or to entertain other co-eds whose brains haven't fully developed yet.

Capitalizing on this sad phenomenon, Durex gives us its latest online vid, which Superfad CD Robert Rugan creatively dubbed kama-balloon-animal-sutra.

"When you get the chance to create 'kama-balloon-animal-sutra', everyone involved gets really stoked about pushing the boundaries as much as possible," Rugan beamed.

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'You Got Him in the Jugular!'

@tim_nolan introduced us to The Fist of Oblivion, a bizarre web series directed by Roman Coppola for Scion Broadband.

Scion Broadband, a lifestyle content network targeted to young, thrifty and image-conscious drivers, launched in 2006. We didn't realize it was still kicking.

And while it's hard to go wrong with muppets, kung-fu and mobsters, we're glad there's a place where Scion's ad folk can potentially still express its creativity.

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Evolution of Dance 2 Debuts Monday With 'Viral Bridge Marketing'

Oh no. Here it comes. Another marketing babblespeak acronym. Yes. Are you ready? OK. Viral Bridge Marketing. Yup, VBM, people. What's it all about? We're not really sure but it's described as part of an "innovative deal to monetize the sequel to 'Evolution of Dance.'"

Comparison shopping site Saveology and self-improvement site PeopleJam have teamed and developed "an approach that allows a viral video and its sponsors to meet consumers at the intersection of their tastes (Evolution of Dance 2) and needs (saving money in a tight economy)."

Eesh, if there's anything that'll kill a, hmm, potentially viral viral before it goes viral, it would be this.

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Everyone Has a Song Inside. But Few Should Give Birth to It.

Microsoft channels Dr. Horrible with this scary new ad for Songsmith. Not since Vista's Rockin' Our Sales music video has Bill Gates' baby so deftly tapped the Twitter rubbernecking reflex.

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Helicopter Douses Pool Party Fire With Hot Guys

This is nowhere near as good as the first ad Netherlands travel company X-Travel did in which a not so un-lifelike plane crash occurred right in front of a beach before the joke was revealed; X-Travel is a travel agency for frat boys and their bikinied girlfriends.

The reveal is no different in this second spot but the lead up in which a helicopter "inadvertently" scoops up two guys with a forest fire water bag just isn't the same a a plane crash. Nor has it garnered anywhere near the 2 million plus views the original saw.

But hey, it's a pool party and who doesn't love a pool party?

Mommy Cow Bloggers to Unite Against Ray-Ban

Dear Chuck McBride,

Assuming you had a hand in its creation, we just watched your Cow Gives Birth to a Guy commercial in which, yes, a cow gives birth to a guy...wearing Ray-Bans and we're, well, disgusted. No wait, freaked out. No wait, astonished. No wait, horrified. No wait, laughing out loud. No wait, what? We have no idea.

Fake sunglass tossing videos are one thing. This thing falls into an entirley different category. OMFG, we're calling the SPCA. Or is it PETA? Or is it NICFA? NDFA? ADA? DFA?

Surely someone's gonna have a problem with a 6'2" guy getting extricated from a mommy cow! Oh wait, that's it. The manure storm is about to hit! Mommy Cow Bloggers are gonna be all over your ass about this one!

The Whopper Virgins Got Their Aid ... But Who Will Serve the Perrier Virgins?

A Humanitarian Lion supporter produced a video riffing off Burger King's Whopper Virgins campaign, where documentarians engage Third World inhabitants in hamburger taste tests -- and incidentally pop their hamburger-free cherries.

Unlike Burger King's ad footage, which makes backwater village life look exotic and friendly, the pro-Humanitarian Lion video uses images of abject poverty to illustrate "Whopper Virgins," followed by Nike Virgins, Playstation Virgins, Perrier Virgins and Human Rights Virgins.

The push point: "Millions of people cannot enjoy the world. Why not use our creativity and power to help them once a year?" A link to the Humanitarian Lion website wraps it up.

Poignant if lengthy. If nothing else, it illustrates the crassness of imposing Whoppers and Big Macs on people with bigger voids to fill.

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