Forget the Paris Hilton Sex Tape, 'The Simple Life' Rocks!

Paris Hilton's romp with Rick Salomon is now officially irrelevant. After viewing the first episode of "The Simple Life" it's apparent that we are in the one of the most hilarious reality television series ever to hit the airwaves. In the first episode, Paris and Nicole fly from LA to Altus, Arkansas on a private jey and land on a private, deserted airstrip. They then have to navigate their way to the Leding family home in a beat up pick up truck that has no reverse. (Which Jossip confirms actually DOES have reverse)

Later, while picking up some groceries for the Leding family, Nicole and Paris go a bit over their allocated $50 budget at the grocery store and wonder why the clerk won't just "give" them the overage. The clerk says, "This isn't a soup kitchen" to which Paris replies, "What's a soup kitchen?"

While having dinner with the Ledings, the subject turns to shopping and Nicole asks, "Do you all hang out at Walmart?" assuming that's what all Southerners do. Hilarity ensues and Paris asks, befuddled, "What's a Walmart? Do they like sell walls and stuff?"

At the end of the episode Paris and Nicole are sitting on the front steps of the Leding house with Justin Leding talking about what there is to do in Altus for entertainment to which Justin responds, "I don't know." Then he gets up to go in the house and get a coat and Nicole turns to Paris and says, "He's cute, we should have a threesome with him."

Some claim the show is contrived and that Paris knows what Walmart is and that the Ledings don't really skin their own chickens. I'd have to agree becasue what fun would the show be, like most reality shoes, if it was actually based on reality. For her part, Paris just says in a USA Today article she is just playing a part, "I was playing a character. I'm totally normal. I think it's obnoxious when people demand limos or bodyguards. I eat at McDonald's or Taco Bell. My parents always taught us to be humble. We're not spoiled."

That said, this is just gold for Fox. Neilsen ranked the show number two for the time slot closely following JAG.

by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03    

Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritche Finally Get Simple

Tonight is the night you all didn't know you were waiting for. Before a certain tape, no one had ever heard of or had plans to watch the premiere of "The Simple Life" airing tonight on FOX at 8:30PM. All that has changed in the last few weeks thanks to Paris Hilton's romp with Rick Solomon. Tonight, we can all watch some of the most unimportant programming ever to hit television's airwaves. This could be as big as the M*A*S*H finale! OK, so it won't be that big but you can bet FOX execs will be intravenously connected to the Nielsen overnights ipraying for Paris and Nicky to give them a ratings winner. And we can all say, "Gee, she does look a lot better when she's milking a cow instead of giving a blowjob."
by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03    

Corporate Spin and the Insanity of Political Correctness

Ad Age Editor Scott Donaton writes in his column this week about the idiocy we call "corporate spin." Jumping off from the infuriating claims by KFC they pulled their "healthy chicken" campaign because the flight had "run it's course" rather than acknowledging they created a stupid spot with stupid claims, Donato rails on the lack of honesty and owning up to one's actions in today's business world.

We have arrived at a point of ridiculous so far removed from any sense of honesty that we don't even know we are lying anymore. I'm quite certain it all started way back when there was the whole "self-esteem" movement going on in school which said children can do no wrong. Everything a child did was, in some way, a positive thing. If a kid grows up that way, of course they are going to carry that into their work life. It's a sad commentary on our culture and it makes you yearn for the days when you could call someone an idiot because that's what they were, not "mentally-challenged."

by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03    

Mobile Phone New Porn Frontier

Porn finds its way into everything and now it's sneeking into the mobile phone so says Juniper Research. The firm predicts mobile adult content sales will reach $791 million by 2006 with have of that video sales. You may want to be careful answering your phone on the train or in a meeting lest you wish to titilate those around you with the grinding and moaning soundss that may emanate. And that's not to mention the assured popularity of orgasmic ring tones that will be available for download.

by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03    

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Too Racy For Retail: Abercrombie Pulls Its Naughty Catalog

Perhaps it was the picture of half a dozen nearly naked teenagers entwined under the Christmas tree like so many unwrapped presents. Or maybe it was the words printed on the cover promising "group sex and more . . . " The latest edition of Abercrombie & Fitch's notoriously racy catalog so inflamed conservative groups that the teen clothing retailer was forced to recall it or face boycotts at its 651 stores

by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03    

Network and Media Agency to Sleep With Each Other

ABC has entered an agreement with media agency MindShare to develop and produce television shows together. ABC will distribute and MindShare clients will support the show. The two will share development costs. With product placement ramping up, this deal will further perpetuate the morphing of network prime time into one gigantic paid commercial.

by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03    

Neilsen Jumps Into Product Placement Measurement

The proliferation of television product placement, a gasp of survival for advertisers in light of TiVo, On Demand and trips to the bathroom, will now be measured by ratings giant Neilsen. If Neilsen simply hooked up to all the nation's sewer systems and measured waterflow or the number of times the refrigerator door opened during a specific time period, maybe advertisers could finally get a glimpse of what's really happening during television viewing.

by Steve Hall    Dec- 2-03