Exclusive! Adrants Interviews Gerry Graf...Uh...Corneluis Trunchpole


After claiming he, in fact, is not Gerry Graf, Cornelius Trunchpole agreed to an exclusive interview with Adrants regarding his origins, his history in the industry and his plans to transform the industry into something better.

Cornelius: How do you do?

Adrants: So tell us about the grand plan. How will it change advertising?

Cornelius: In many ways

Adrants: Well, give us one

Cornelius: By using a crowd of over a thousand hand picked creative minds only the very best ideas will get produced. And those creatives who originate the idea sold to the client will take home a slice of the "agency" fee. No salaries at T&T.

Adrants: We've heard of this before. Sounds like controlled crowd sourcing. What's new about this model?

Cornelius: What's new about it is its spirit. it will not just be a collection of random people but a group who share an Trunchpolian attitude.

Adrants: How will you recruit?

Cornelius: Recruitment is already well underway. I have been inundated with people the world over keen to take part in my "virtual agency", people of all levels of experience.

Adrants: When will you officially launch?

Cornelius: We will officially launch when we reach a certain critical mass. This will be when we have the minimum amount of participation to effectively service a client. And then of course we must wait for our first brief.

Adrants: Understanding that you are seeking the best creative talent, will you also recruit account people to manage the process?

Cornelius T&T will run on pure creative enthusiasm. With out that it is nothing. With enough of it it could achieve anything. It will of course require a minimal administrative core, which is why account handlers will also be required. Though the extent of their involvement is hard to predict.

Adrants: OK, then. So you are trusting creatives can manage their own work? OK, kidding. But only a little

Cornelius: Creatives are humans too. They are more than capable of managing their own work. The key to T&T's success is that it will refuse only the most exciting briefs. To get people to work remotely and in their own time would require truly inspiring opportunities.

Adrants: Agreed. Where were you first employed?

Cornelius: My advertising career began in the army of all places. I was sent their at the tender age of six, after proving incompatible with life in an orphanage (both my parents tragically died in child birth)

Adrants: What sort of work did you do for the army?

Cornelius: I was a useless soldier. But they let me write the slogans on the sides of munitions. "Enjoy this Adolf!", "PS your hair is on fire!!" and "I AM A BOMB!" being amongst my most celebrated works.

Adrants: Hmm. Sounds like fun. Did you ever work for an ad agency and if so which one?

Cornelius: On leaving the Army I went straight to work at the London ad agency Wilson Bagley, where I quickly rose to the rank of Creative Director, writing copy for such accounts as Coleman's mustard, Heinz, and Monster Munch crisps. Following a chance meeting in a London phone box I was then offered a job at the McCann Advertising agency in America, where within weeks of joining I had facilitated the companies merger with the Erickson agency (an achievement I received not even a word of thanks for). At this point I was still only 14 years old.

Adrants: Never hold back talent as they say. Let a kid excel whenever he's ready, right?

Cornelius: Right! I then spent the next two decades moving from agency to agency sometimes as Creative Director, sometimes as head of copy, sometimes as Chairman (once as receptionist - a mistake quickly rectified). Shall i continue?

Adrants: Well, of course. Share your career with me

Cornelius: During this time of agency hopping I also founded The Annual Trunchpole Awards, (or Trunchies as it affectionately came to be known), where I awarded the finest advertising to come out each year. Needless to say I consistently won in almost every category.


After years of working for other people I decided to set up my own shop, Trunchpole & Trunchpole (there was no other Trunchpole, I just liked the sound of the repetition).

Adrants: So...why are you and all you refer to absent from Google? Did you live your career in stealth mode?

Cornelius: Because Google wasn't invented dear boy! And there's another reason too.

Adrants: Yes?

Cornelius: After the demise of T&T barely a decade after it launched I went ever so slightly mad. I committed an act of insanity against the advertising world so grave it wrote me out of its history books.

Adrants Ah...I see...so you spent a few decades in an asylum?

Cornelius: No. Immediately after committing my crime I came to my senses and extracatedmyself from society. it's how I ended up in Scotland.

Adrants: What was this act of insanity?

Cornelius: It's too unspeakable to say. But I will tell you that it took place at David Ogilvy's
retirement party in Nice.

Adrants: An eventful...um...event I can imagine

Cornelius: But that's all in the past. I have returned to the advertising world to make amends, and restore T&T to its former glory. Albeit in a more 21st century guise

Adrants: Well that's good. We all know we don't need more of the same in this industry

Cornelius: T&T is the antidote to "the same." T&T will be a celebration of the fun that advertising will be. A backlash against the generic nonsense we bombard the poor public with every day.

Adrants: Do you think the industry will welcome you with open arms?

Cornelius: Our industry is a cruel mistress. From what I've seen over the past months there
are conservative people who do not subscribe to my philosophy, but thankfully there are many more who see the joy and worth in the Trunchpolian approach to making ads. By coincidence, Gerry Graf is one such person.

Adrants: Well that's a very interesting statement, sir.

Cornelius: Not particularly. The rumor you published was false. Yet, he and I do have a connection of sorts.

Adrants: And on that note, what's your real name and where do you really work?

Cornelius: My real name is Cornelius Trunchpole and I work at the soon to be greatest
advertising agency in the world, Trunchpole & Trunchpole.

Adrants: Fair enough. I eagerly await it's official launch and we hope you will give us the chance to feature it here on Adrants

Cornelius: Oh of course.

Adrants: Well thank you very much for the interview, sir. I look forward to the launch. Will there be a party?

Cornelius: I should imagine so. I never was afraid of a tipple.

Adrants: Us either. We love a good party. And it makes for great editorial on Adrants.

Cornelius: I hope you appreciate what a scoop you have. Cornelius Trunchpole's first interview in over 45 years.

Adrants: I thank you for the opportunity, sir!

Cornelius: It was my pleasure. Now be gentle, I'm doing what I'm doing for the good of the industry. To bring back some fun. And some decent bloody whisky too!

Adrants: Sounds good to us.

Cornelius: Ardbeg 10 years. If you ever fancy sending me a bottle.

Adrants: Well now. How can we refuse an offer like that? We'd have to be strictly off the record, of course. Lest we be accused of being "influenced" in our coverage of this epic event.

Cornelius: Off the record is my specialty. just ask any of the 37 secretaries I got through.

Adrants: Ha!

by Steve Hall    May-27-10   Click to Comment   
Topic: Agencies, Strange