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Now that the world has seen Paris Hilton in her famously compromising position, we may now have the chance to see Christina Aguilera in an equally compromising position. Apprently, there's a Christina Aguilera Sex Tape. This, according to Ryan at Gorilla Mask. Ryan says, "GorillaMask inside sources are reporting there's allegedly a similar sex tape of my baby, Christina Aguilera, which may be released in the coming months or even weeks. And apparently I'm not in it. I'm horny and sad. Anyway, if this is for real, you can bet your ass I'll be one of the first to get my hands on that one as well."
OK, so rumors are a dime a dozen but if they come true, it's nice to have been the first person to say it. Or the second in my case.
Felix Dennis Walks in the Woods
In an interview with 60 Minutes II correspondent Bob Simon, Maxim Publisher Felix Dennis reveals he has no idea what he's worth, he gives much of his money to relatives and friends, says GQ is for men who like sox more than sex and he has plans to sell Dennis Publishing to build a 50,000 acre forest in England.
Do people with money start out this crazy or does the money make them crazy? I really would like to know what makes people like this tick. OK, so giving money to relatives and building a forest isn't completely insane but it is a little odd.
The FTC has called KFC's bluff and is responding to complaints that the chicken chain's latest batch of ads, which basically attempt to pass the food off as healthy, are deceptive. The ads claimed KFC fried chicken has less fat and fewer calories than Burger King's Whopper explaining to Americans, as if a bunch of unintelligent idiots, that fried chicken could be part of a healthy lifestyle. Smartly, KFC has pulled the ads claiming they did so "for brand protection reasons." What they really meant to say was, "Yes, these ads make us look really retarded and the Americn public stupid so we are pulling them."
In a telling tribute to the vapid mentality of the advertising industry, marketers registered over 20 of 150 fake brand names from a web site poking fun at the ridiculousness of corporate re-branding. Created as a spoof by U.K. ad agency Design Conspiracy, the site, What Brand Are You, asked marketers to enter a set of brand attributes and then click a button to get an auto-generate a brand name. Rather than get the joke, over 20 marketers used the site to generate a brand name and then registered it as a real brand. Some of the spoof brand names that are now "real" are Amplifico, Integriti, Thinc and Winwin.
Creator of the site, Ben Terrett said, "We were just literally trying to think of the most stupid company names." The goal was to illustrate the trend toward nonsense brand names and to debunk the complexity of the process. Advertisers, idea well dry, took the bait and perpetuated the trend of inane, meaningless brand names.
A new Italian (?) film and production company, KinoKomanda has launched and is promoting itself with a new viral video that, after viewing, will forever more cause you to insure you are alone in your house before you engage in your own personalized fetishes. Thanks to Viralmeister.
If Yahoo's Buzz index is any indication, it appears there's not a sole with access to a computer who has not seen the Paris Hilton Sex tape. In one short week, she's risen from obscurity to the number one spot on Yahoo's Leaderboard, a measurement of popular web searches, dislodging perennial winner Britney Spears. Obviously, everyone wants to watch her cavort with well hung stud Rick Solomon.
The whole thing is either an unfortunate (for her) coincidence or a brilliant marketing move to promote her new reality series with Nicole Ritchie, 'The Simple Life,' in which the two celebutantes have to endure a month on a farm in Arkansas. At this point, the series is almost guaranteed initially high ratings when it debuts on FOX December 2.
Greenwich Don't Like All That Ass
Apparently the residents of Greenwich Connecticut have decided they've seen too much ass and they aren't going to take it any longer. Several area moms have complained that the thong-clad, plastic-assed mannequins in the local Victoria's Secret are simply too racy for local tastes.
"I avoid walking by there purposely," one of the moms said. "I'm uncomfortable when I see things like that. And I'm not a prude."
Complaints have made there way to Town Hall too with selectman Richard Bergstresser saying, "We have no ordinances if it involves bad taste. If they have displays that people object to, then they'll lose business."
Victoria's Secret spokesman Anthony Hebron was accommodating enough in addressing the complaint, "We try to be a good neighbor in whatever community we're in. Everyone has the right to their opinion of what they consider fashionable lingerie, which is what we sell."
The lingerie marketer may have to cover their ass cheeks in this community lest they raise the ire of minivan-driving, soccer moms with attitude.
Parisians are rebelling against the new talking billboards that have started to appear in their subway stations. The boards start singing brand names as you walk by.
I'm Makin Milk...I'm Lookin Stupid...
Brooke Shields dances around her kitchen while preparing formula for her baby only to realize that she looks pretty stupid moving to cheesy 80's music telling her baby, "It was the 80's. It's a long story." Along with Brooke, featured in this week's Ad Age TV Spots of the Week, are two talking heads comparing the invention of the beer bottle to sliced bread for Guinness, a pile of humans climbing on top of each other for Playstation2 which we previously reported here, Sam Waterston hawks the TD Waterhouse brokerage (Waterston...Waterhouse...was that planned?), iPods rock, '24' star Dennis Haysbert promotes Allstate Insurance's personalized service, and a guy pours latte over his head in an amusing spot for Nutrigrain Granola Bars.
Seems the JLH strategy didn't work for beleaguered TV Guide. The weekly chronicle of TV just reported a net loss of $18.1 million for Q3 2003. Revenue fell 12.4 percent to $207.6 million, compared to $236.9 million in the same quarter last year. With the proliferation of set top and TiVo program listing guides, the lifespan of a printed magazine about TV is destined to be shortened very quickly.
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