Ad Campaign Proves Toothpicks and Breast Implants Don't Mix

Somehow this ad for Hamlet Cigars tries to combine toothpicks, breast implants and the post-coital cigar. Oddly, it works.

And here's another that makes you want to cry. That is if you like domesticated rodents.

Dennis Publishing CEO Has Hissy Fit Over Fortune Article

A not so accurate Fortune article by David Leonard detailing the supposed decline in growth of lad magazines such as Dennis Publishing's Blender caused Dennis Publishing's President and CEO Stephen Colvin to write a scathing rebuke to Fortune Managing Editor Rik Kirkland. Colvin's letter was in response to supposedly inaccurate statements regarding the decline in circulation of Dennis Publishing's Maxim, Blender and Stuff.

Colvin wrote, "By publishing an article that wildly distorts the facts and by displaying zero knowledge of the industry, you’ve got as much credibility covering your own magazine business as if you had hired Jayson Blair to be the magazine’s ombudsman."

Colvin continues, "Where do Fortune editors get the nerve to criticize Dennis Publishing's circulation strategy when slightly more than 94 percent of Fortune's circulation is subscription-based while selling 'dirt-cheap subscriptions' (to quote Leonard's article) equal to $1.15 an issue (regular newsstand price: $4.99) and almost 10 percent of these subscriptions are bulk. Compare that to Dennis Publishing's very healthy 67.5 percent subscription to 32.5 percent newsstand ratio (industry standard: 84 percent subscriptions, 16 percent newsstand) � and no bulk."

Even the magazine publishing industry is turning into a Jerry Springer show.

Ad Agency Salaries Still Not Rising

The annual Ad Age Salary Survey is out and after three years of limping through the recession, the industry that has become the leading indicator of an economic downturn and a trailing indicator of its return still needs more time to improve. Most agencies plan no bonuses and one quarter will not give salary increases. Of course as in the norm in the twisted world of top management compensation, agency CEO's and CFO's will receive larger percentage raises than those that do the actual work.

Chrysler Bails Out on Arnell Group

Distancing itself from the Celine Dion campaign disaster, Chrysler is dumping Arnell Group, creator of the campaign. The car maker will stick with its main agency, BBDO, and renegotiate its contract. Insiders say it wasn't just the awful ad campaign but also the $1 million monthly retainer Arnell Group charged Chrysler to handle the account.

The change is not suprising since Joe Eberhardt just joined Chrysler in June as EVP of global sales and marketing. As is the norm, it's a forgone conclusion that the Arnell Group would be dumped and the account placed in review. God forbid a new marketing director actually stay with the same agency.