National Cleavage Day Unleashed Advertising-Style
Depending upon the source, today is National Cleavage Day. Or maybe it was March 26. It really doesn't matter. Thanks to Wonderbra, we now have this annual celebration of the female breast. So in celebration of such in important event, let's take a look back at some of the bra busting ads we've covered here on Adrants over the years.
Most recently, the Chinese, increasingly fixated on big boobs, came out with an ad for what can only be described as boob clamp lingerie. A woman adorns herself with the slinky satin and then pulls a few string and BAM, her boobs are suddenly twice as big.
Right in line with Asia's general fixation with boobs, comes this extremely weird commercial for ice cream in which a deliciously endowed Asian girl whose breasts are far too big for her tiny bikini top frolics with a pair of ice cream cones.
Jacques Magazine hooked up with Jonathan Leder and the stunningly endowed Lauren Young for a couple of videos to hype the magazine. In the first, Young plays Squash. Or tries to as her bulbous breasts bounce inside the confines of her cute, pink outfit. In the second, Young dons some very tight blue pants and a bra that's two sizes to small for her globes of glory. She then illustrates just how exciting bowling can be. That or how impossible it is for her to keep herself from caressing her curves until, well, until she reaches the inevitable completion.
Let's be clear about something here. It's not just men who "leverage" boobs for their own personal gain. Miss Fit, a UK-based lingerie specializing in clothing, lingerie and swimwear for women lucky (or unlucky depending upon viewpoint) enough to possess DD cup or larger breasts, signed a deal with the very curvaceous X Factor star Maria lawson.
Lawson is a perfect fit for Miss Fit. More than twice the size of a DD, Lawson straps herself into a 36JJ bra when she gets dressed in the morning. Miss Fit is owned by a woman.
And how about movie poster cleavage. We've got Michelle Trachtenberg smashing her boobs together for Eurotrip but poor, less than well-endowed Keira Knightley had to have a digital breast enlargement for her King Arther movie poster.
Boobs and beer, as you are all well aware, have always gone well together. Especially with the added twist of a big breasted woman whose burps can scare away a dragon. No, seriously. And how can we forget the Virtual Bartender? Or boobs big enough to cast a shadow on a Foster's to keep it cool?
And how about the obsession with boobs and cleavage turned inward by the ad industry itself? Remember this poster created by DDB Worldwide to promote Advertising Week? Or the use of porn star boobs? Or the use of boobs to drive a car on? O the use of big boob cleavage to drive up television ratings? And yes, even Wonderbra themselves fuels our obsession with cleavage and reminds us of former ginormously endowed fellow employees.
Even motorcycle insurance is sold using cavernous cleavage such as the pendulous 32G sized mammaries of Lucy Pinder (you can also see the pendulous Pinder doing charity work here). Bennets Insurance has a long time obsession with breasts which has involved mechanical bull riding and leather.
It just seems anything related to size always ends up with a boob in the mix Take this Nikon ad which fosters the notion bigger is always better. Definitely when it comes to boobs but, cameras? Yes, according to Nikon (or whomever created this ad which may or may not be real), like a D cup versus a B cup, 3 million pixels are better than 2 million pixels.
Remember viral advertising. Yea, the practice where anything feature a baby, stupid guys injuring each other and women with big boobs will garner boobtastic amounts of YouTube views? Or how about Chatroulette? Remember that oddity? Yea, brands were in on that one too. Dr. Pepper, with a twofer, hyped there beverage with boobs and a cheerleader. What's not to love about that?
We, of course, can't leave Victoria's Secret out of this National Cleavage Day celebration. After all, they are, perhaps, the biggest purveyor of cleavage on the planet. Everything they do revolves around lifting and squeezing and padding a woman's breast to make them look bigger than they really are. When you think about it, it's the capitalistic equivalent of the tissue paper-stuff bra of yesteryear.
All this cleavage enhancing push up crap only works in the woman keeps her bra on. And eventually she's going to take it off revealing the truth to her suitor who was expecting a bit more. It's really a cruel trick Victoria's Secret and you should be ashamed of yourself.
But cleavage isn't always a good thing. Some women, shockingly, are modest and prefer to cover it. Enter the Cami Secret cleavage doily.
Now lest you think this fixation on cleavage is just a playful objectification of women with no redeeming business merit, you might be interested to know cleavage increases Facebook ad response 61 percent. Unleash that DD-sized fact and suck on it, people.