JCPenney 'Endorses' Teenage Sex (Not Really, As It Turns Out)
Come on. You know you can remember it. You were in high school and your boyfriend or girlfriend was on the way over to visit and the anticipation was killing you. Killing you! Your heart was pounding. Chills were running through your body from head to toe. You couldn't wait to see her/him when you opened the door. And when you did, a gush of warmth filled your body and you smiled a big smile. And then...you couldn't wait to tell your mother you were "just going down to the basement to watch some TV" so you could....go down the basement, each tear your clothes off the other and embrace with an urgency words can never describe.
And you felt fully confident you'd be just fine if Mom decided to open the basement door, walk down the stairs and make sure you weren't doing anything you weren't supposed to be doing because...because you'd both practiced dressing and undressing in front of the mirror until you got your time down to 18 seconds, the time it would probably take for Mom to get off the couch, walk across the floor, open the basement door and begin to walk down the stairs...at which time the two of you would be sitting on the couch fully dressed doing just what you said you'd be doing: watching TV. All thanks to JC Penny.
Because for J.C. Penney, Every Day Matters. And "Today's the day to get away with it."
A brand, with help from Saatchi & Saatchi New York, endorsing teenage sexual foolery? What, pray tell, will parents say to this?
Smart ones will shock the shit out of their kids by nonchalantly asking, without getting up off the couch, "Need a condom?"
UPDATE: Oh of course it turns out to be a fake. Damn. All the great ads are fakes! This ad is actually very good and follows closely the direction in which JCPenney has been recently heading; to become more relevant and to appeal to a younger audience. And the killer is it won a Bronze Lion. Cannes ain't gonna be happy about this. Here is the clarification from JCPenney Legal:
"JCPenney was deeply disappointed to learn that our name and logo were used in the creation and distribution of a commercial that was submitted to the 2008 International Advertising Festival at Cannes. No one at JCPenney was aware of the ad or participated in the creation of it in any way. The commercial was never broadcast, but rather was created by a former employee at JCPenney's advertising agency, Saatchi & Saatchi, solely as an award submission without JCPenney's knowledge or prior approval.
JCPenney does not approve or condone its content, and we have asked Saatchi & Saatchi to remove the ad from online circulation and to apologize to our customers and our Associates for misrepresenting our Company in this manner."
And...Saatchi & Saatchi ads its own clarification:
"Saatchi & Saatchi has a long history of producing principled and respectful advertising for JCPenney and its entire client roster. The Speed Dressing TV commercial, which was submitted to the 2008 International Advertising Festival at Cannes, was created by a third party vendor without JCPenney's knowledge or consent. It was produced and released to the public without any knowledge or prior approval from JCPenney. Saatchi & Saatchi did not enter the spot and deeply regrets the message this ad presents. Saatchi & Saatchi apologizes to JCPenney, its associates and its customers. The commercial is being removed from public circulation."
Epoch? Care to add yours?
Ponder the damage this has done. Since the work, though quite good, was unauthorized and, apparently, never ran anywhere, it's not eligible to win an award. Cannes will now have to strip the Bronze from Saatchi/JCPenney/Epoch leaving other legitimate contenders in the category screaming, "Hey, we could have had that bronze!" Is this any way to behave in what is supposed to be a professional business? Oh way, this is advertising. Sorry for having such lofty expectations.