Witch Uglies Down, Reporters Get Mauled, Public Health Stickers Litter Life

- Milk makes baby-eating witches insecure about their looks. Dude. Did she just try passing her wart off as a mole?

- Cops with Slingbox and a bullhorn wreak havoc. "Haaands up. COME ON, THREE POINTER!"

- "This is swimming." That was weak.

- British Airways wants to send you to Barbados on its tab, which is kinda funny, because the Caribbean is everything London isn't.

- What's public health? Everything around you. And also hygiene, hygiene, hygiene. And that's why you should molest everything you see with annoying red stickers.

- There is a giant salad bowl on Penn Station. See that ultra-deluxe Kraft Dressing bottle on top of it? Hope Penn isn't a hot spot for bird shit. Put together by mcgarrybowen.

- Nokia is sponsoring a music show called The Green Room on the UK's channel 4. It is hosted by Chris Neadham, who makes his mark on celebrities by asking (LSD-inspired?) questions like "What would a hip-hop doorbell sound like?" There are nicer ways to make your mark. Like peeing on a hydrant.

- Here, in three glorious minutes, are the real-life hazards of being a news reporter. It's not all small-talk and sunshine!