Big Boobs Banned by Network, Lane Bryant Pissed

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Hello? This is Adrants, right? So where's our commentary on the Lane Bryant ad featuring a woman whose breasts are apparently too big for Fox and ABC? Excuse us if we took off a few days to enter the actual world where women with actual breasts and actual cleavage exist. And who aren't cast off as mutated oddities as the networks seem to have done to the women in the new Lane Bryant commercial.

"Good God! She has breasts! Holy shit! Look at that cleavage! We can't possibly air that! That would break our B cup limit! That would likely cause men to get erections in public!The cause groups would eat us alive! Besides, the she weighs more than 120 pounds! And that makes her fat! No one wants to see fat people in ads. Tell those fatties over at Lane Bryant that if they want that spot to air, they're going to have to cover up that cleavage."

So sexy. So not what your father's network would air.

by Steve Hall    Apr-23-10    
Topic: Creative Commentary, Opinion, Racy



Coke Continues to Twist the Mind of Youth

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Haven't we all had enough of these stupid commercials that promise you the world if only you drink a Coke...as if that can full of sugarized crap has anything to do with your ability to achieve success on your own?

So here we have some crap about a "boy who didn't know how to celebrate so he set off on a quest to find his own celebration." Complete with joyous lyrics about freedom and fire, the boy flies, fights against robots and climbs mountains of celebrations. But it's not until he takes a sip of Coke that he realizes the only place he needs to search for celebration is inside himself.

Gag! Please! Seriously? A kid needs to drink a a Coke to realize his potential? Seriously? What twisted sort of education is that for today's youth? Oh wait, it's the same thing every other marketer does. Buy our product and you will be magically transformed in the most supremely perfect person on the planet.

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by Steve Hall    Apr-23-10    
Topic: Creative Commentary, Opinion, Trends and Culture, Worst



Coke Gets Stylish with Karl Lagerfeld

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If you can get over the fact, Coke is just unhealthy sugar water to which the entire human race is seemingly addicted, then you might be able to enjoy a modicum of excitement for the new limited edition Coca-Cola Light packaging from Karl Lagerfeld. And if you can get over the insanity of a soda brand pimping itself as if it were DKNY or Dolce and Gabbana then you can come to appreciate the fact a brand as big as Coke can do anything it wants (New Coke, anyone?) and still succeed.

Then again, this all happening in France which makes it completely normal.

by Steve Hall    Apr-19-10    
Topic: Brands, Creative Commentary, Opinion



Hot Girls! Whipped Cream! Lingerie! Pillow Fight! Yawn.

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So...let's have a pillow fight. Yea, that's it. And why not? After all, pillow fights are fun. Especially when there's a lot of feather-filled pillows. And the pillows break open. And you film the thing. In slow motion. With zoom shots. And an oh-so-uber-cool throbbing soundtrack. And you stage the thing between two hot girls. In lingerie. In a bedroom. On a bed. With a third girl. Who has an ejaculating squirt gun. With pump action. That shoots water over a girl's chest. Which is gratuitously zoomed in upon. In...slow motion.

And when that isn't enough, you add a fourth girl. With two pies. Filled with cream. That end up all over the four girls. Along with the feathers. Which makes the girls look like they just appeared in a bukkake flick.

And the you ruin the whole thing by actually showing the advertised product.

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by Steve Hall    Apr-14-10    
Topic: Creative Commentary, Racy, Video



The Game of Squash is Hotter Than You Think

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Good God! Who knew squash could be so hot? Directed by Jonathan Leder, this promotional video for Jacques Magazine features a very hot looking Michea slapping the ball around the court. As she runs across the court bending perfectly for the upskirt shot, her ample breasts bounce unrestrained underneath her pink top which can't conceal the affect the excitement of the game has had on them. And if that weren't enough, at one point she looks as if she's about to have an earth shattering orgasm. All from playing squash.

We think we'll be taking up the sport soon.

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by Steve Hall    Mar- 8-10    
Topic: Creative Commentary, Magazine, Racy, Video



It's Hard to Fit Fun Into A Small Space

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Sounding a bit like a double entendre-laden line from a bad porn flick, this BBDO Toronto-created work for Frito Lay's new Multipacks informs us, "It's hard to fit fun into a small space." But, according to the company, it's quite possible. As long as you believe junk food is fun and small is actually a normal serving size.

Don't even watch the second commercial in the series. It's lame. And besides, it doesn't fit into our twisted view of this campaign thereby making it impossible for us to make another really bad joke disguised as an attempt to be witty.

by Steve Hall    Mar- 8-10    
Topic: Campaigns, Commercials, Creative Commentary, Strange



Gretchen Bleilor Outshines Lamar Odom in Conceptually Similar Ads

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There's graceful. And then there's crass. Graceful is sending Gretchen Bleiler into space to the tune of Lou Reed' Perfect Day. Crass is sending Lamar Odom into space as if he were in an episode of flash Gordon.

Grace is illustrating an athlete's desire to continuously reach new heights. Crass is minimizing those desires to the notion a candy bar is the sole reason an athlete can reach new heights.

Grace is creating a commercial that is uplifting and beautiful. Crass is creating a commercial that is silly and stupid.

by Steve Hall    Feb-23-10    
Topic: Bad, Celebrity, Creative Commentary, Good, Opinion



Vitamin Water's Steve Nash is 'The Most Ridiculous Man in the World'

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We love the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World campaign. Many people do. Because it's funny. And Weird. And, well, ridiculous. And Vitaminwater knows this. And so does Nike Trash Talk sneaker creator, philanthropist and Phoenix Suns' guard Steve Nash.

Nash appears in a series of Vitamin Water videos which spoof the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World campaign. Nash's version is entitled The Most Ridiculous Man in the World. And it is ridiculous. And brilliant. Ridiculous and brilliant. When do you get to use those two words in the same sentence?

We love that.

by Steve Hall    Feb-12-10    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Creative Commentary, Good, Spoofs, Video



Hot Ass Still A Workable Creative Solution

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Hey, didn't some other brand just do the "your ass will look better if you wear our shoes" thing? Now Reebok's doing it. Or was it Reebok in the first place? We're too busy at a conference having fun to take the time to find out. And besides, why analyze an ad when it needs no analysis? A hot ass attracts eyeballs. And in advertising, that's half the battle. And it might even sell some shoes.

Now go buy some Reebok's so we can claim we know what we're talking about as opposed to appearing to be some sort of ad hack with nothing better to do than leer at women's buttocks like a Neanderthal who's been away from his woman on a long hunting trip.

by Steve Hall    Feb- 8-10    
Topic: Creative Commentary, Opinion, Racy



No Clear Winner Among Super Bowl Commercials

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There were no standouts,commercially speaking, in last night's Super Bowl. Unless of course, you believe USA Today's Ad Meter which ranked the Betty white/Abe Vigoda number one. Or if you believe the Mullen/radian6 Brand Bowl which, through social media comment and positive sentiment, gave top honors to Doritos (the brand, not an individual spot). Or if you place credence in Bob Garfield's watch-them-all-before-the-game approach then the top slot goes to Audi.

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Or if you are a fan of Adland's Ask Wappling, the love went to Volkswagon's Punch Buggy ad. Or of you can't get enough of Make the Logo Bigger's Bill Green then it's Google's Parisian ad. Or if Hulu is your gig, then the top slot was Doritos to own for its consumer-generated House Rules ad. Betty White's Snickers ad and Google's search ad faired well there too. As did the hottie-in-a-tub Megan Fox ad for Motorola...which distracted us enough to mostly miss the VW Punch Buggy ad which followed. We know. Predictable behavior around here at Adrants.

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Or if you can't get enough Barbara Lippert, Budweiser's Clydsdales or Bud Light's Asteroid. Or, well, she really isn't clear on which one she liked best. (In a later article, she named Google her fave.) Or if you're a commenter on Bob Garfield's Ad review, then honors, it would seem, should go to Google. Bob didn't even comment on the spot because, well, he watches all the ads (at least the ones that have been released), forms his opinion and files his story before the kick off. he misses in-game context and late/un-released commercials.

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by Steve Hall    Feb- 7-10    
Topic: Creative Commentary, Opinion, Super Bowl 2010








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