The MySpace homepage has been invaded by concurrently-running banner ads for the NBA. Each features two different basketball players whose faces are cut down the middle and mashed together. Each player is repeating the same speech about fear and slowly ... sloooowly ... driving me mad.
The banners drive users to MySpace.com/NBA, which tells you nothing about the ads themselves. Too bad; I actually wanted to know, but not enough to dig through all that other crap.
A soft-hued, angelic Alicia Keys appears -- on a first-name basis! -- for Alicia in Africa, a documentary following her efforts with Keep a Child Alive. (Not to be confused with that other video work she does.)
The film is streaming on the official site as well as on Blip.tv, which provided the video player; and on MySpace. (It's a wonder people still bother with that.) You can also download it for free on Spiral Frog.
But let's cut to the chase. KIDS! In AFRICA! With AIDS! Go DONATE.
Jun Group is distributing a Nike-sponsored YouTube video where Kobe shoves some shoes in the camera's face and then jumps over an Aston Martin coming at him from 50 MPH.
"DON'T -- TRY -- THIS -- AT HOME!" he shouts, but come on. How often have you done some dumb shit on a boring afternoon just to see if you could?
That Kobe. If he's not cheating on his fine-ass wife, he's doing silly shit for shoe dollars. Way to set an example, role model guy.
We're filing this under "Bad," but what we really mean is "Stupid."
That home is "Homestyle Sports."
And when I say "home," I mean a bonafide online show complete with hosts (Dan and Adam!), sponsor (Champion!) and a big-ass box of swag, which Dan and Adam explore between candid sports takes.
The whole thing's kinda like watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" except with two Bob Sagets, a lot of balls and some hoodies.
To be part of all the fear and loathing, upload your own clips to Break.com or YouTube.com/homestylesports. Be sure to tag them with "homestylesports."
If the bobblehead starts talking to you, squeeze the wheel and look straight ahead. It's probably just an Aquafina promotion.
To celebrate its snappy new designation as "Official Water of Major League Baseball" (sorry, there's an official water?), Aquafina has launched Lou's Daily Affirmations, featuring Lou Piniella.
Put together by Tribal DDB Dallas, yesterday's affirmation was "Life is always more interesting with a bat in your hands."
No need to tell me twice. The pinata might need convincing though.
Remember that van that looked like it was dipped into the dyeing vat of a private school uniform purveyor? Last year it motored through the East Coast converting heathens to Web 2.0; this year it's going West.
See tentative dates.
About four months from now, the Plaid van will stop at agencies and companies to preach the gospel of social media. Along with new ideas, they will come bearing Twinkies and shirts. (Email Darryl [at] thinkplaid [dot] com if you'd like them to pop by.)
The roadies need sponsors so if you can pitch in some cash, a hotel room or a new fashion tip for that chocolate ride, they'd be much obliged. (So would we.)
With money to burn from Hanes, a scruffy guy called Dave -- who's clearly approaching midlife with misgivings -- is challenging celebrities to games like Rock Paper Scissors or wrestling. (Somewhat more entertaining than watching Sarah Chalke moan off a wedgie.)
Dave has so far lost challenges to Cuba Gooding, Jr., Reggie Bush and Nelly, among others. But he did win a Comfortsoft Pose-Off against Paris, who unwittingly forfeited the game when she just didn't bother to look at him twice.
We'll clarify. She looked at him once, then tore him to shreds with her stare and publicly forgot he existed. It was superhuman.
More Beijing Olympics/Adidas gorgiosity by TBWA/China and Psyop. This one tells the story of Hu Jia, a competitive diver who in five years won a slew of Olympian silvers before taking the gold in Athens. Great mix of individual determination and community pride in these spots.
See previous efforts for the "Impossible is Nothing" campaign.
In this article, CNBC writer Darren Rovell uses convoluted logic to ask what consumers, in their childlike naivete, are supposed to extract from relationships between athletes and the brands that sponsor them. (And their trainers. And their trainers' websites.)
Here's the puzzle the column poses: say you're a kid, and you want to be the next LaDainian Tomlinson. Tomlinson is part of Nike's SPARQ training program. He also wears Nikes on the field. But Todd Durkin, Tomlinson's trainer, has a website sponsored by Under Armour.
Assuming you're wack enough to think this will fundamentally alter your destiny, what do you BUY? Nike trainers or Under Armour's? The author's so stuck on this that he's even taking a poll. (Who would you follow: athlete or trainer?)
We'd laugh this whole thing off, because it really is ridiculous, but then we got to thinking. Do sponsored associations between people and products really mean something?
Tabasco's Chipotle Sauce, Weber Grill Creations seasonings, Royal Oak charcoal and Chinet tableware have joined forces with the Kansas City Barbeque Society to launch the first-ever Great American BBQ Tour.
The sample- and recipe-packed bus will start its slow journey in Rio Rancho, New Mexico during the Pork 'n' Brew BBQ Cookoff from March 28-29. It'll visit 25 cities before coming to a stop at the Jack Daniels World Championship Invitational in Lynchburg, TN (October 24-25).
See tour info and schedule.
We are hungry for rib of animal drowning in spicy sauce. And maybe apple pie with Kraft Singles on top.