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Danica Exposes Herself in the Name of GoDaddy. Again

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As always, domain-buying service GoDaddy took the fullest advantage of its liaison with Danica Patrick -- and her beaver -- for this year's Super Bowl spots, whose scripts appear to have been written by pornographers in financial distress.

Here's a trope you might've seen before: pubescent boy's fantasies, realized.

And this spot, confusingly dubbed "Baseball," plays on trashy court TV. I think it would be better served if it were renamed "Enhanced? I'll show you enhanced."

Cast votes for your favorite on GoDaddy.com up to January 23rd. Like last year, each spot continues in a (gasp!) unrated online version.

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Self-Lovin' Scents, Twitter Marketing Help, Designer Laptops, Knowledge Hustlers

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- A whiff of Hugo Boss Femme may put you in a self-adulating, decidedly Diddy state of mind.

- Twitter marketing toolbox. *twirls finger*

- Contemplating facial hair? Upload your likeness here. For Schick -- which may actually lose customers that may have otherwise grown mustaches out before realizing they looked like Super Mario. (And not in an awesome, sliding-through-the-magic-pipe kinda way.)

- Bob Knorpp contemplates the legal saga of the Bratz. Complete with at least three hooker jokes.

- This HP Mini 1000 is brought to you by Vivienne Tam. We find them semi-sassy.

- Hey Facebook, "your dreams of avarice are fucked."

- Just another world record-breaking stunt.

- Cab driver advertises MBA credentials to customers. One good thing you can say about this economy: it makes everyone a marketer.

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Microsoft Does Softwear. No, That's Not a Typo.

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Having failed (twice!) to woo young defectors with ads, Microsoft tries appealing to their unending quest for ironic shirts.

The so-called Softwear line of tees joins Crispin Porter + Bogusky's ongoing "I'm a PC" campaign. Common -- who already appears in ads for Microsoft's Zune -- infused the shirts with retro cred and his own '80s-inspired designs.

Variants include:

o The DOS Tangle: "The first logo you saw on a screen."
o The 101: "Learn to speak the language." Oooh, binary.
o The Misdemeanor: "Everyone deserves a second chance."

There's something the world needs now: mugshots of Bill Gates prowling the streets.

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Franck Ribery is the New Pink Panther

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Wieden + Kennedy/Amsterdam reprise the intro to The Pink Panther with this catchy spot for Nike's Mercurial Vapor IV.

"He's a gentleman, a scholar, he's an -- acrobat!"

Cheeky. Wait for the tooth-gleam at :47. Makes me wanna watch soccer while cuddling a plush Ribery doll.

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Ozzy Osbourne Faces Off with WoW's Prince of Darkness

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The ad cash just keeps pouring in for Ozzy Osbourne. Fresh off that Samsung spot for Leo Burnett, he's enlisted with Mojo for a World of Warcraft promotion.

The more blitzed he is, the better. And it probably only helps when he makes batshit-insane statements like, "Well, maybe you're the one who's been riding a fucking CRAZY TRAIN!" while teetering. (In case you didn't catch that with your ears, captions -- now a staple for Ozzy cameos -- have been included.)

At spot's end, WoW's "What's your game?" slogan is modified with yet another bleeped-out F-bomb.

Just another piece of high art by production company Green Dot Films. The latter called it the most-viewed spot on YouTube this weekend. We don't know about that, but ratings have been generous.

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Stripvertising, Social Media Etiquette, Pot-Driven Cautionary Tales

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- Hurtin' for love? Advertise on a stripper's apple bottoms. Dolla make you holla! (Via.)

- BU needs money too.

- Mind your social media Ps and Qs.

- The rumours are true: it snows in Switzerland.

- Ivanka Trump blogs for Brides.com.

- Bogus Nike discount code. Boooo. (Hoooo.)

- Maybe that dam is somebody's house.

- Possibly the best marijuana PSA evar. If you watch it while high on 4/20, the universe will fold in on itself. Also, just for the record, I have ironed my hair while under the influence. It is so, so dangerous.

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Sexting, Nuggnuts, Blogger Bailouts, In-Game Ads on Saints Row

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- Massive inked a multi-year, in-game ad deal with THQ. So far, the only game that will for certain feature dynamic advertising is Saints Row 2.

- Queen Rania of Jordan has won the first-ever YouTube Visionary award for her daily videocast. I kind of love her.

- Six Apart has launched something called the TypePad Journalist Bailout Program. Under it, about 30 ex-bloggers or journalists will receive a free TypePad Pro account, tech support, representation on Blogs.com and auto-enrollment into Six Apart's ad network. 300 applications were received in less than two weeks.

- "Diddy is so Sarah Palin."

- Close-up on crotchvertising.

- New buzz word: sexting! Almost as fun as nuggnut. (Click on "Nuggnut pledge" for awesome brainwashing action.)

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Tiger Woods Out As GM Spokesman

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With GM citing the poor economy and Woods citing the need to spend more time with his family, GM and Tiger Woods have parted ways reports Advertising Age (story not up yet). GM and Woods have worked together for nine years with Woods appearing an several commercial and playing in the Buick Open.

by Steve Hall    Nov-24-08    
Topic: Brands, Celebrity, Sponsorship

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Hey, Song Writer. Got a Hit? License It to the Porn Industry.

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Just another idea by our good (if lazy) friend Chuck, who hashes it out like so:


"Give adult entertainment production companies such as Evil Angel and Vivid Entertainment limited rights to music from upcoming video games for use in their adult films, six months to a year ahead of release.

"The soundtracks for most adult films are fairly pathetic, and I am sure that many companies would welcome free, quality music for their films."


Chuck's previous epiphanies have included porno product placement -- but lest you fool yourself into thinking he's a one-track kinda dude, consider this: he also came up with Hacky Snacks (complete with working prototype!) and, um, candy cane chopsticks. Better for the environment, I guess, but potentially also extremely sticky.


Goes to show there are still a few unturned tricks left in advertising. (Pun much intended.) So think like Chuck. Or steal his ideas. Which, oddly enough, is what he wants you to do. (Just send him a kickback once in awhile.)

by Angela Natividad    Nov-19-08    
Topic: Online, Opinion, Sponsorship, Strange

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Battle of the Agency Bands

With help from the disarming Alice Anda (and the kind indulgence of Massive's Cassandra Nuttal), ad:tech's blog crew crashed last night's Battle of the Agency Bands, a Guitar Hero party sponsored by Massive.

Suited up like charming schizophrenics, agency bands played a random Guitar Hero song for a crowd composed of their own cohorts. I wish I could attach the agency name to each of these videos, but we were in and out in two shakes -- too quickly to info-gather. One of them is MediaVest; and creatives from Ogilvy performed, but I didn't catch footage.

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by Angela Natividad    Nov- 6-08    
Topic: Industry Events, Sponsorship

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