For pseudo-scientists still toting the efficacy of subliminal advertising, we bring you Hypno Marketing, an Australia-born method for turning even the most cynical of purchasers into brand evangelists for life. All they need is a few hours with said consumer.
"Hypno-marketing is not dangerous nor is it evil," says general manager Gavin Hawke. "Hypnosis and marketing use similar techniques to motivate people into a particular behavioural pattern. We cannot remove the free will from people but through our re-programming we believe we can control the individuals' decision making process."
Well, if hypnosis can get people to stop smoking, why wouldn't it work for marketing? And we're sure consumer-wannabes will be breaking the doors down at marketing evangelist hypnosis seminars. Who wouldn't want to be further cannibalized by every ad they see?
Apparently, the backlash over the Snickers Super Bowl commercial in which two men end up kissing after eating a Snickers bar from opposite ends was too much for the company to take and, as a result, the candy maker has taken down the commercial's accompanying website, afterthekiss.com. Typing in the URL simply redirects to the Snickers site.
While we liked this spot purely for its shock value, there's a faintly high probability this will have a very real negative affect on sales. Can you imagine the looks one will now receive from the checkout clerk when they buy a Snickers bar? That's just way too much snickering for most people to take and there's plenty of other perfectly good candy choices with far less embarrassment attached to them.
The Army/Ad Council Boost Up effort skyrockets in our ratings of deserved abuse with this awkwardly-phrased, melodramatic, grammatically awful and typo-ridden explanation for Boost Up's mission.
We're sure they're sincere in suggesting that inside every one of us is a graduate. But clearly a high school graduate does not a good editor make. Well, guess that's what the military - er, college - is for.
If memory serves, after 9/11, wasn't it the French who sort of dragged their feet and made things difficult for the countries trying to tally together against Bin Laden? If so, that might explain this ad for French tree hugger site Defi Pour La Terre which thought it would be witty to transform the image of two trees into the twin towers burning on that fateful day. All to somehow equate the value of a tree to the value of a human life.
We not sure any amount of time passed makes this sort of thing OK. Then again, we're American. We knew people on Flight 93. The French? Well, perhaps they didn't know anyone who died that day or just feel Americans can't keep their hands out of other countries' issues. While the latter may be true, mocking a world event such as 9/11, at least for now, is still in very bad taste. And the French are supposed to know about taste, right?
We've never been huge fans but Mr. Peanut gets just due for being a longtime symbol of good clean fun in a mixed nuts can. That's why we're sad to be the ones to tell you how easily the 'Nut's integrity can be compromised.
Word on the street is Kraft had Draft FCB run an online vote to freshen up the Mr. Peanut look. Small changes: pocket watch, yea or nay? Cuff links, too Chippendale? But apparently Kraft had a panic attack and made everyone in the Company and at Draft stuff the ballot to ensure Mr. Peanut remains the same stodgy, phallic eyepiece-porting womper he's always been.
And, we're back! Yes, my friends, the Disney vacation is now, sadly, in the rear view mirror but the rejuvenation that vacation provided was much needed. As we get back into gear here (not that we were ever out of gear with co-editor Angela providing you musings on a daily basis), how apropos it is we stumble across The Silly Girl's mention of airport security bin advertising. Just when you thought every available ad space has been taken (now there's a sentence that's been written here many, many times), ads will now appear on those gray bins you toss all your stuff in as you pass through airport security.
We don't know what to say about this creepy iPod-wielding Orville Redenbacher resurrection except that we're horrified, and popcorn won't console us. To add insult to injury, it's also badly taped and executed in a manner most shitty.
Turning a childhood icon into a twitchy zombie is the air fluffed foodstuff of nightmares.
Thank Crispin for this work when you're done being paralyzed by fear.
You'd think in a medium made largely successful by teens recording themselves dancing in their rooms or ghostriding the whip, that major brands would naturally thrive. But this wannabe viral for Panasonic Viera's He Didn't See That Coming campaign reminds us all how they fail again and again.
You can't use corny ad shticks, remake them on a shoestring budget and call it viral media. And what are we - five? We're supposed to laugh at a fat guy covered in elephant jizz? Ha ha. No.
Way to sell a Viera, guys. Oh, and that spit-polished website at your guerilla campaign URL? Nice touch.
We're amazed by how the Patriot Act has affected every one of our rights except protection from double jeopardy, which remains Simpson's ongoing joke on a rubbernecking nation.
It was only a matter of time before the definitive chapter of his botched If I Did It... book leaked to the press. Our favourite part of what he would have done (if he did it) was the end: "Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can't tell you exactly how."
Laughter. And the smacking of gloved hands.
Read the rest of the chapter summary here.
For Zvue, makers of handheld whatever-the-fucks, indy SF-based agency BuderEngel and Friends throw together a hopeful viral called Feet for Hands. They warned us first that there wasn't much cash in the deal but no amount of money can compensate us for the embarrassment we suffered having to sit through this story of a man with boots for hands dancing to "Look Out Weekend."
Of course the agency says it's doing well so what do we know? - Contributed by Angela Natividad