"So what if I'm gay? You let my rainbow fade away," accuses a Care Bear in this awesome video where toys rebuke cynical adults for ditching them after puberty, thereby ruining their Christmases -- and ours -- forever.
And if our He-Man could talk, he probably would be just that ditzy.
Thanks go out to Grey, Vancouver for putting it together.
If you're on the hunt for creepy new fables, find out how the Christmas tree fairy came to be. It's twisted.
If you, like every other college student suckling from Facebook, enjoyed the first Powerthirst ad -- a spoof on testosterone-rich energy drink ads that make ridiculous promises -- then you'll be marginally interested in watching the spot for Powerthirst Rocket Edition, brought to you by Picnicface and College Humor.
Now your favorite non-existent drink comes toting new flavors (MANIMAL! FIZZBITCH! GUN!) and new words for your lexicon like "beveryman," "preposterone" and "douche-fag."
And not only will you be preposterously good at sports, you'll win at irony, art and "everything forever!"
Testimonials added for effect.
Wandering ever deeper into a tangly forest of camp, Lucky gives us Karate Cop, courtesy of Night Agency.
The ad says that in December when you buy a pair of jeans at Lucky Brand, you can get something of equal or lesser value for 50 percent off. Neato. Provided some plainclothes cop doesn't elbow you in the neck on your way out of the store. (But hey, seeing shag-heads in sweatbands generates that reaction in us, too.)
What's going on with the flannel?
A group called Holiday Cover Up is encouraging us to celebrate every day of the year by revealing holidays we don't know about.
The logic: holidays were parsed out by greeting card companies in order to encourage productivity. "Calendars are propaganda!" snarls founder and author Kevin Goodson.
See video here. We think it's pretty good. Plus, you gotta love the idea behind Pi Approximation Day.
We also got a new word for the Ad-Jive dictionary: "holidology"!
Feeling festive? Get Holiday-a-Day widgets and other web 2.0 crap. If you're lazy like us, you can just celebrate your unbirthday, which takes place 364 days a year. Thank goodness the Mad Hatter and the March Hare weren't holiday perfectionists.
Nothing says jackpot like a slew of copycats. So if (like us) you wondered about the success of the Elf Yourself campaign by OfficeMax, look no further than this moody spoof by Dunder Mifflin.
DM also built a website called Gnome Yourself, which features characters from The Office.
Here's a bummer of significant proportions. SF group Richter Scales posted a parody video on YouTube about the impending pop of our rancidly ripe Web 2.0 bubble. It's a shame. We would've liked to see it.
The group used a bunch of images found online, mashed up to Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire.
Since its debatable* big win over Facebook's Beacon, we've developed an almost unhealthy interests in other ad campaigns it's trying to drum up money for.
Here's the latest one. (If it's too big for your browser, just click on the image and scroll down with your arrows.) We like how it says "dramatization" in the corner. As if!
In lieu of a season's greeting, AIS, London gives us a holiday tool we'd actually like to use.
The Staffblaster attacks dronelike employees -- likely sleepy, hungover and shoddily dressed -- right as they walk through the door (typically between nine and 10 AM).
Must do wonders for morale.
Hitler is one fucked-up agency executive.
This is almost as funny as Hitler gets banned, a homage to his love for the Xbox.
It's great that we've learned to laugh at this icon for human tragedy. But how long before our laughter eases the stigma around the toothbrush mustache? Until an ordinary man can walk about with one, sans persecution, our work is far from done.