- Jezebel compiled a list of the top 10 female product advertising icons -- and the actresses that could replace them. That Mrs. Butterworth's/Queen Latifah one is hella funny. Now you: go forth and laugh.
- Driverside.com, which sends reminders for auto maintenance and calculates repair estimates in your area, is paying parking tickets off for 100 San Francisco inhabitants. Register at the above link and check back July 25th to see if you're among the scott-free parking violators.
- Gary Busey's objectively bananas, and here's proof. If you're planning to argue, I've got three words for you: stupid, misfortunate placenta.
- Neat water campaigns: submerged-society ones for Australian brand Insight, quiet dreamscape ones for Diesel.
- BooneOakley is behind State Farm's "Experience Peace of Drive" car wash campaign. (Apparently you also get a free massage.) More from the effort: bathing car, car and yoga, car and cucumber, car and candles, car and acupuncture. (Kinda cool. I had a fat friend whose mom made him visit an acupuncturist to induce weight loss. It didn't work, but he kept telling her it did because he found the needles soothing.)
- Attention all bleeding hearts: Tila Tequila is now an angst-ridden poet. (Such clever manipulation of iambic pentameter! Such masterful use of "cunt!") See an example without having to visit her MySpace.
- Obama rawks -- online, at least, but also literally (with help from PhotoShop).
- VH1 sent over a clip for its upcoming I Love Money "celebreality" show. It managed to be ghetto, valley and trashy all at once. Two words: naked cartwheels. (Tastefully censored with the Rock of Love logo.)
- What keeps Dungeons & Dragons in cauldron cash? "Part web savvy, part faith and all awesome." Also, there are podcasts.
- Google upsets the children it helped spawn. You kind of have to read it to believe it. Unless you already do believe it, in which case ... go you!
- AOL snags an ex-Googler to head Bebo Europe.
- On her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary, a Millennial reflects on how the advancement of technology in the last century have made life different.
- To distract from its increasing irrelevance, the Yellow Pages is engaging in a few guerrilla stunts. Nothing we haven't seen before.
- Draft FCB is a new breed agency with great analytics. It's gonna transform this industry in a modern way -- and that means holistic offerings with a strong Return On Ideas, not to mention rad rock music and awesome whitewash camera tricks. And then we choked on our rapidly-escaping brain cells and died. From George "Fuck Louie, that's some 'Analytics' you've got there!" Parker, via MTLB.
- Some mothers want John McCain to keep their babies out of war. Others are begging him to take theirs. (Via.)
It's been confirmed: vibrating banners can kill. Because no man is safe where the banner ads dwell -- not even if he's the type of man who confuses J-Lo's lips with Angelina's.
- It Didn't Air is another awards show that aspires to tickle the creative babies that were too ugly or flawed to make it into waking life. Strictly for radio ads -- and only $75 to enter!!
- Anheuser-Busch is going to stop selling energy drinks. Which is probably wise, because tipsy + hyper = high likelihood of Death by Freak Accident. Typically on a train track.
- Mega-Bang turns bald, bearded, nearsighted men into repetitive sex gods. Also, check out his bathrobe insignia. It's a phallus. With an orbit.
- Mattress Firm is looking for the most sleepless person in America. The winner gets a new mattress and a free consultation from a shrink -- er, sleep expert. To enter, write an essay or submit a video, though I think the latter's preferred because that's what all the cool kids do.
Here's to hoping weepy bobby soxers, blood-splattered chicken and scowling Brits get your appetite going. This spoof trailer for pulp film Night Hunger is an (unofficial!) ad ploy for guess-which-fried-chicken-company. (Catch subliminal branding action around 1:25.)
The film was shot by director Ben Whitehouse of RSA Films, the parent company of Little Minx -- the wild and wonderful folks that hope to make film gods out of ad directors. Guffaw.
Ric Kallaher, the photographer who took all those awesome shots at One Show in May, ditched the Cannes International Ad Festival for the Coney Island freak show, otherwise known as the Second Annual Wrath of Cannes.
And he's not sorry.
"Who needs Cannes?! Beter yet: who WANTS Cannes?!" he concluded, having obviously returned a changed man.
"THIS is everything an advertising awards show should be: last minute, no hassle entries open to anyone & everyone, free beer, rockin' surfer-guitar music (blasted out by the ever-cool Tarantinos), raucous fun on the beach, and on-site, in full-view judging for clients that could never exist for ad campaigns that could never air.
"But, hey, with modern mobile platforms, why not?!"
Below: 8 Freakish Things We Learned About Wrath of Cannes. (Illustrated.)
Forget about cows, celebrities and good health. After watching this video for BC Dairy, you will never see poker the same way again.
"I have longed for your heart."
"I have longed for your spade!"
The online video debuted in tangent with Teen Power Team, a TV spot that parodies Team America: World Police and crime-fighting dolls in general. (I dig how there's a token Spanish-speaker. Those saucy Canadians!)
Expect more where those came from. All ads, however random, conclude with the same tidy moral: must drink more milk. Dot com.
And you probably expect this by now, but I'll say it anyway: the website lets you UPLOAD VIDEOS and WIN STUFF.
Put together by Bent Images Labs for DDB Canada in Vancouver and Tribal DDB Canada (for the digital stuff).
We take it for granted that most ads are full of shit most of the time, but every once in awhile you need to take a whole industry to task. This video does that for the woman-targeting yogurt peddlers.
"Yogurt eaters come from every race, but just one socio-economic class: the class that wears gray hoodies. It's that 'I have a Masters, but then I got married' look!"
- FunAdvice mashed up top search engine and soft drink brands, under the premise that search engines today inspire us the way colas once did. Hrm.
- Hitler plays the fated Hillary in this emotional Nazi interpretation of the Clinton/Obama nominee race. The best part is when he shouts "The DNC has thwarted my destiny!" while the women tremble in his midst. It wasn't as funny as Hitler Gets Banned though.
- Legal Sea Foods' "Fresh Fish" ads piss off the easily-rattled Bostonians. The MBTA decided to pull the ads after Green Line workers took offense to them. (Some ads said things like "This conductor has a face like a halibut." Touchy much?)
- Penis advertising gets you everywhere. Especially if you're Dov "The Colonel" Charney. Horrors.
- Build-a-Bear Workshop is partnering with Sanrio to let kids build Tropical Hello Kittys. "Tropical Hello Kitty's sun-kissed look is perfect for summer and we're certain that she'll be a big hit," says Dave Marchi of Sanrio. But will that sun-kissed pelt betray her age?