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- It Didn't Air is another awards show that aspires to tickle the creative babies that were too ugly or flawed to make it into waking life. Strictly for radio ads -- and only $75 to enter!!
- Anheuser-Busch is going to stop selling energy drinks. Which is probably wise, because tipsy + hyper = high likelihood of Death by Freak Accident. Typically on a train track.
- Mega-Bang turns bald, bearded, nearsighted men into repetitive sex gods. Also, check out his bathrobe insignia. It's a phallus. With an orbit.
- Mattress Firm is looking for the most sleepless person in America. The winner gets a new mattress and a free consultation from a shrink -- er, sleep expert. To enter, write an essay or submit a video, though I think the latter's preferred because that's what all the cool kids do.
Here's to hoping weepy bobby soxers, blood-splattered chicken and scowling Brits get your appetite going. This spoof trailer for pulp film Night Hunger is an (unofficial!) ad ploy for guess-which-fried-chicken-company. (Catch subliminal branding action around 1:25.)
The film was shot by director Ben Whitehouse of RSA Films, the parent company of Little Minx -- the wild and wonderful folks that hope to make film gods out of ad directors. Guffaw.
Ric Kallaher, the photographer who took all those awesome shots at One Show in May, ditched the Cannes International Ad Festival for the Coney Island freak show, otherwise known as the Second Annual Wrath of Cannes.
And he's not sorry.
"Who needs Cannes?! Beter yet: who WANTS Cannes?!" he concluded, having obviously returned a changed man.
"THIS is everything an advertising awards show should be: last minute, no hassle entries open to anyone & everyone, free beer, rockin' surfer-guitar music (blasted out by the ever-cool Tarantinos), raucous fun on the beach, and on-site, in full-view judging for clients that could never exist for ad campaigns that could never air.
"But, hey, with modern mobile platforms, why not?!"
Below: 8 Freakish Things We Learned About Wrath of Cannes. (Illustrated.)
Forget about cows, celebrities and good health. After watching this video for BC Dairy, you will never see poker the same way again.
"I have longed for your heart."
"I have longed for your spade!"
The online video debuted in tangent with Teen Power Team, a TV spot that parodies Team America: World Police and crime-fighting dolls in general. (I dig how there's a token Spanish-speaker. Those saucy Canadians!)
Expect more where those came from. All ads, however random, conclude with the same tidy moral: must drink more milk. Dot com.
And you probably expect this by now, but I'll say it anyway: the website lets you UPLOAD VIDEOS and WIN STUFF.
Put together by Bent Images Labs for DDB Canada in Vancouver and Tribal DDB Canada (for the digital stuff).
We take it for granted that most ads are full of shit most of the time, but every once in awhile you need to take a whole industry to task. This video does that for the woman-targeting yogurt peddlers.
"Yogurt eaters come from every race, but just one socio-economic class: the class that wears gray hoodies. It's that 'I have a Masters, but then I got married' look!"
- FunAdvice mashed up top search engine and soft drink brands, under the premise that search engines today inspire us the way colas once did. Hrm.
- Hitler plays the fated Hillary in this emotional Nazi interpretation of the Clinton/Obama nominee race. The best part is when he shouts "The DNC has thwarted my destiny!" while the women tremble in his midst. It wasn't as funny as Hitler Gets Banned though.
- Legal Sea Foods' "Fresh Fish" ads piss off the easily-rattled Bostonians. The MBTA decided to pull the ads after Green Line workers took offense to them. (Some ads said things like "This conductor has a face like a halibut." Touchy much?)
- Penis advertising gets you everywhere. Especially if you're Dov "The Colonel" Charney. Horrors.
- Build-a-Bear Workshop is partnering with Sanrio to let kids build Tropical Hello Kittys. "Tropical Hello Kitty's sun-kissed look is perfect for summer and we're certain that she'll be a big hit," says Dave Marchi of Sanrio. But will that sun-kissed pelt betray her age?
Apparently in the works for over six months, ZobZee promises to be the the killer social app which will put Twitter out of its misery and lend some order to the insanity that is FriendFeed. ZobZee's premise? Why type when you can just think your social inanities and have them automatically shared with the world?
CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell, citing UPS' recent end to its winning streak with Big Brown in the Belmont horse race which was part of a larger event sponsorship, proposes the ad FedEx should run in response. With help from CNBC in-house designer Florence, created an ad with the headline "Big Brown...if you're not first, your last." Witty.
In one of the more interesting methods of attempting to illustrate the waning worth of newspaper advertising, a Gyro-created fake ad campaign for the Philadelphia Inquirer features the fictitious airline Derrie-Air which, in an effort to be carbon neutral (fuckin' buzzwords), promises to plant trees to offset the pounds of carbon its planes spew into the atmosphere.
After all the accolades that rained down on Halo 3's "Believe" campaign this past awards season, the last thing I wanted to see was yet another monument to the game's mystique. But this spoof about a homicide detective investigating a dead rookie Team Slayer makes "Believe" seem fresh again.
Once again, Halo's universe is brought into the real world. But the quiet sense of awe that surrounded mentions of Masterchief is earnestly mocked, and the reenactment of the rookie's death is priceless. Both a mimicry and a tribute, the piece totally cracks through "Believe's" sobriety.