Top Ten Thirty Adrants 2005 Sex-In-Advertising Stories

As we endeavored to compile our list of the top ten sex-related advertising stories of 2005, we realized very quickly it would be impossible to limit the list to ten. After all, advertising and sex are so deeply intertwined it would be like coitus interruptus to place any limitations on such a project. So here, in no particular order, are the top sex-related advertising stories of 2005 for your multiple pleasures. We're sure we've missed some as there's only so many times a chap can go 'round.

British Hottie Says Hand in Pants Not Hard
Freakish Appendage Horrifies, Sells Shoes
Sex Sells...Until the Doors Close
GE Wins And Loses With 'Ecomagination' Campaign
Big Breasts And Suckling Babies Promote Food Bank

Ass Pixel Advertising Hits Million Dollar Homepages
Condo Complex Encourages Loud Sex in Ad
Outdoor Campaign Teases
Nestle Drumstick Ad Over Sexed
Hot Models De-Cry Turtle Egg Aphrodisiac Consumption
Monitors Orgasm to Promote TVGuide Online
Shocker: Boobs Promote Advertising Week
American Apparel Hires Porn Star to Sell Tube Socks
Girl Grabs Crotch, Ad Gets Banned

Paris Hilton Has Sex With Bentley For Carl's Jr.
BMW Launches Racy Motorcycle Mini-Movie Ad
American Apparel Ad Campaigns Dance With Porn
Very Pink Hotties Provide Football Fantasy
Alan Cumming Cums For Cumming
Book Promoted With 'TwattyGirl' Apparel
Jenna Jameson Launches Wireless 'Moantones'<
PR Firm Lures Survey Respondents with Striptease
Elevator Used to Recruit Pole Dancers
Wife Strips, Man Watches, Product Benefit Fulfilled
Manisms and Hot Women Sell Milwaukee's Best

Provocative Imagery Promotes Holland Festival
Beer.com Launches Virtual Bartender II
McDonald's Wants People to Fornicate With Burgers
Big Boobs Sell Low Air Fares
Big Boobs Keep Foster's Beer Cold

And for one last go 'round, here's a few stories that sum up our industry's fixation with sex.

Advertisers: Wake Up And Smell The Sex
Marketers Push Sex Appeal
Group Says Too Much Sex on MTV

Paris, Butts, Masturbation Make Up Adrants 2005 Most Viewed Stories

Everyone's doing their top ten lists this time of year so we thought we'd jump right on that train too with our Ten Most Viewed Stories on Adrants in 2005.

10. Dead Guy In Trunk of Cab Promotes 'Sopranos'
9. Mountain Dew Launches MDX Energy Drink
8. Unicef Anti-War Commercial Blows Up Smurfs
7. Female Masturbation Ad Gets Banned
6. Lego Gets Pissy About Brand Name
5. McDonald's Japan Dumps Ronald For McHotties
4. Virgin Music Launches Musical Artist Identification game on Heavy
3. Paris Hilton Has Sex With Bentley For Carl's Junior
2. 'Rockstar' Contestant Slips Expletive Past CBS Censors
1. Nike likes Big Butts...And Thighs...And Knees

Popular Ad Campaigns Get Snarked

Illustrating how ads embed themselves in culture, Canada's ihaveanidea.org and agency Taxi have created three very funny, insiderish videos that show the cultural power, well, at least to those of us in the industry, of popular ad campaigns.

Family Group Forces Retailers to Say 'Merry Christmas'

Oddly, the American Family Association thinks everyone in America is Christian and celebrates the Christmas holiday. Certainly the vast majority are and do and the recent politically correct shift from labeling everything formerly known as "Merry Christmas" to "Happy Holidays" may have gone too far but we're not sure we need an organization to force companies to say "Merry Christmas" in their marketing. But, unsurprisingly, in our overly issue-oriented world, there is.

The American Family Association has been boycotting stores such as Sears and Target for not including "Merry Christmas" in their signage and advertising. Apparently, the AFA is quite powerful. Both retailers have relented and added "Merry Christmas" to their messaging. We don't know what's more stupid; forcing a retailer to adhere to one particular religion over another or the politically correct insanity that got us here in the first place.

There Is Most Certainly Life After the :30

During the bathroom breaks and :30 coffee breaks we are allowed here at Adrants headquarters, we have finally finished Joe Jaffe's book Life After the 30-Second Spot. Actually, we finished it about two weeks ago but, again, we aren't allowed much time here to do anything serious what with all the stunt marketing and cleavage out there that had to be given our journalistic excellence. So, finally, we've found a few moments to hide from the Adrants Overlords to reflect on Jaffe's book and share our thoughts with you.

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Online Video Growth Stunted by Old School :30 Mindset

Following his trip the the recent iMediSummit, Underscore Marketing President Tom Hespos is voicing his frustration with the advertising industry's continued cling to the television nipple. Concerned that many new online video advertising opportunities will amount to "shovelware TV," Hespos reports many industry execs are pleased as punch with the status quo, happy to unnecessarily pay middlemen to serve their precious TV spots and offended at the notion online video should be any different than a :30 spot.

'White' Agencies Are 'Biased, Greedy, Stupid'

Writing on TalentZoo as a guest columnist, copywriter, brand consultant and author Hadji Williams brings to light the rampant dismissal among major agencies of multicultural advertising and explains how "ethnic" agencies are brought in by AOR's at the last minute to black/Latino/Asian-ize campaigns only to have them end up looking stupid and perpetuating stereotypes. It's an insightful examination of the practice and one I can admit to engaging in having done my fair share of minimizing the importance of the ethnic portion of a campaign.

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Nip/Tuck Gets On MySpace Train

Apparently an avid viewer of FX's Nip/Tuck, Bucky Turco points out FOX has tapped into its own network of 25 million MySpace users and has created a profile for "The Carver."

Chinese Coke Billboard Goofy...Or Not

There's something about Chinese culture that makes relatively snark-free advertising like this Coke billboard possible. Of course we have no idea what we're talking about because we've never been to China. But we do know, or at least we're told, there's a bit more innocent goofiness in the culture that makes this stuff possible. Of course, we could be completely wrong about that notion too.

Sony's Street PSP Campaign Getting Tagged, Ragged

While initially it seemed Sony's PSP street chalk drawing campaign in several cities around the U.S. was being well received by some (us), others have dished out a bit of backlash by defacing the drawings and calling for an end to corporations' attempts to co-op the graffiti art form. AdFreak sums up the issue pointing to a rant over at Gothamist, an online petition to stop the practice and street art blog Wooster Collective's collection of PSP street art.