Bart Says Everything Steve Jobs Probably Only Says, Off the Record, to NYT Reporters.

Last Sunday The Simpsons took the piss out of Apple: the brand experience, the cult of the white earbuds and even Steve Jobs' sermons on the mount.

To incentivize the watch for hardcore ad-heads, wait 'til the end, when a dude with a mallet recreates Apple's "1984."

Magical. Experience Mapple -- "It's so sterile!" -- below the drop (courtesy of Hulu).

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Crispin Trots Globe in Pursuit of Whopper Virgins

See teaser visuals for the Whopper Virgin campaign by Crispin Porter + Bogusky for Burger King. Turn the volume down unless you dig the cacophonous din of high-pitched wind instruments.

According to AdFreak, Crispin -- our fearless leader! -- will scour the world in search of people that have never tried a Whopper, then publish a documentary about this deep spiritual journey alongside director Stacy Peralta.

The site boasts footage of unravaged remote villages as well as cultural wisdom, of which this is just one example: "If you want a real opinion about a burger, ask someone who doesn't even have a word for burger."

Ahhh. Today their stomachs, tomorrow their labour force. It's enough to make Hernan Cortes beam with childlike delight.

Everybody Loves a Witch Hunt!

Victoria's Secret Collegiate Collection: Hijacked for the Lulz

Victoria's Secret Pink Collegiate represents everything wrong (but sellable!) about college: bright-eyed, gum-popping sorority girls that coordinate dog leashes to their shoes, non-merit-based exclusivity (unless heart-shaped hickeys count), high-pitched voices, strawberry blondes, fruity body spray, polka dots, and pink.

Victoria's Secret recently gave unrepresented schools the chance to join the Pink Collegiate Collection -- a pupil-dilating clothing line sporting Pinkified uni logos and mascots. Probably for the above-mentioned reasons, a passel of hackers decided to have their way with the system.

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For Adland Nostalgiacs.

Memorable moments from 41 ads, nicely choreographed to the tune of One Spring Away. Yeah, the gorilla's in there, plus bits from Sony's Bravia spots and Gap's Khaki Swing.

Steve is jealous because, in less sober times, we've bounced this same idea back and forth: "Hey, what if we mashed up a bunch of ads to, like ... a song...?"

But it takes a fine hand to elevate advertising -- coolly thrashed by jaded pundits -- to the soft-focused realm of scrapbook-worthy human experience. The Band From does it better than we could have.

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ad:tech New York Closes: Despite Economy, Optimism Reigns

While it's said attendance was down slightly from past conferences, the New York ad:tech conference was, by all counts, alive and well despite 24/7 news reports reports of doom and gloom. It's true the economy is not doing too well right now nor is it expected to improve over the course of the next year. But, thankfully, the online and interactive market space is one of the few bright spots amongst the graying economic skyline.

In his keynote address Tuesday morning eMarketer Co-Founder and CEO Geoff Ramsey said he expects to see a 14.5 percent growth rate in U.S. online ad spending in 2009, not bad for an economy that's supposed to be tanking. Many other sources have proclaimed such health as well for the space which bodes well for those of us making our living in online marketing.

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If You're Not Making It Up As You Go Along, This is Not Your Time

As if there weren't a Republican in the house, ad:tech keynote speaker Shelly Lazarus gushed with excitement about the uplifting optimism brought on by Obama's presidential win the night before. No doubt, she had planned to speak about Obama's campaign, universally agreed to have been stellar and one of the best ever, but the fact he won couldn't contain the glee clearly resident in the room.

In her keynote, Lazarus commented the Obama campaign dubbing it a masterstroke of CRM and the digital realization of Obama's "yes we can" mantra. While the Obama love in the room was, without doubt, palpable, Lazarus did not spent the entire keynote talking about Obama.

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Online Ad Growth of 14.5 Percent Seen for 2009

Despite all the doom and gloom about the economy, according to eMarketer's Geoff Ramsey, there are bright spots. And those bright spots, thankfully, are in the online marketing space. Ramsey sees a 14.5% growth rate for online ad spending for 2009. Wipe that sweat off your brow now because you may actually be able to pay your mortgage in 2009.

Miniskirt Symbolizes Paper's Reduction in Size, First Female Editor

Italian newspaper 'L'Unità', originally founded in 1924 by Marxist Antonio Gramsci as the official paper of the Italian Communist Party, has relaunched and rebranded with a new campaign created by "controversial" Italian photographer Oliviero Toscani who worked on the United Colors of Bentton campaign.

Some have labeled the ad sexist. Concita de Gregorio, first female head of the paper doesn't agree, saying, "I don't think it's right to use a woman image to sell, for example, cars. But in this case, I think it's perfect. Since two months, this newspaper is controlled by the body and the head of a woman, me, so in this case I think is pertinent to use a woman's image."

Hmm. Interesting logic indeed tying the mini skirted body of the woman in the ad to her position as "head" of the paper.

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Crimes of Facebook Passion, Palin's Rack Promotes Storage, and More Crappy Jingles

- Avenue A/Razorfish is changing its name to Razorfish.

- Considering an iPhone? Read this first.

- Wife killed by estranged hubby for changing her Facebook status to "single" too soon. Wow ... the world has changed.

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