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That nasty sickness contextual advertising just can seem to shake has reared its ugly head once again. This time, those reading about how 250 people got sick after eating at an Indianapolis Olive Garden restaurant are now encouraged to experience their own sickness first hand compliments of a Free Dinner for Two at the national restaurant chain. Oh yes, Olive Garden wouldn't think of making you pay to get sick at one of their restaurants. They want you to get sick for free. How thoughtful.
In case the U.K. serial killer who strips prostitutes of their clothing but leaves their jewelery behind was ever in need of some jewelery, John Christian Jewelers is right there to help. In fact, they're right there in the middle of a Guardian article about the murders so if he's reading his own press, John Christian Jewelers has made a great ad placement. Oh wait. They didn't have anything to do with it. It's just a bunch of pre-programed, contextually-motivated ad servers which are incapable of rendering any semblance of common sense. Click here to see the full story with the ad
You can do what on Second Life?! That was, and remains, our reaction when we discovered you can role play rape in the back alleys of the commerce-friendly virtual wonderland.
Apparently even Second Lifers can't do the rounds alone after dark. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Scamp directs us to yet another holiday video. It takes place in what looks like a dorm and involves two guys in Santa hats dancing around in their underwear. Since five-year-olds do this all the time we failed to see what was so special about it.
The video was created by some "directors/graphic designers" called Type2error operating out of the UK and, we suspect, out of this same dorm room. Well, we look forward to watching their talents develop, which should happen shortly after their voices change and they discover tube socks and vegetable oil. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Considering this Julie Roehm/Walmart saga is getting 9/11-style coverage we're not going to dive much into it at this very moment but you have to admit all this lychee martini-parsing, who-slept-with-who, who-paid-for-dinner crap brings back vivid memories of slut rumours and peer ostracization on the quad. AdScam rants beautifully on the latest goings-on in the made-for-TV drama. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
In Altoids Factory, which looks suspiciously like a Chinese sweatshop, assist two little men in the hefty task of turning plain Altoids into sour ones by creating clusters beside the proper packaging. The game is mystifying as we couldn't begin to guess what some of the packages are supposed to represent and thus wasted a lot of time putting 'toids beside the wrong containers resulting in no transformation of any kind.
Keep your dirty dealings to yourself, PR guy Al Toid. We will not take part in your shady time-wasting practices. Oh, and your music sucks too. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Copyranter wonders whether or not the recent new York City Health Board law to ban trans fats in all foods found in New York will lead to the banning of street food carts, deli salad carst or even farting. One cause group, Consumer Freedom thinks the law goes too far and asks in a USA Today ad if pizza, hot dogs, corned beef and coffee should be banned as well since, ya know, they're kinda bad for you too. Next: miniskirts and halter tops because, ya know, they're distracting.
Our friend Snake Oil Guy has a problem with ValueClick Media General Manager David Yovanno's recent announcement video for the company's video offering for publishers wondering why Yovanno:
1. Can't put on a tie for a major rollout announcement?
2. Can't afford a lavaliere mike?
3. Can't shoot in a room with no echo?
4. Can't speak slower?
5. Can't find a decent backdrop?
Indeed, it seems Yovanno spewed this out between checking his morning email and making his first sales call for the day.
Not even ten seconds into this video in which a boxer tells his corner man he's got nothing left and needs something big, something really big, we're already yelling at the screen, "Bend over loser and take it up the ass like a man!" Then we realize it's not some cheesy porn flick, it's a Nemer Fieger-created, Twist-directed Subway commercial for the chain's new Big Hot Pastrami sub. Seriously. We know it's just us but the combination of "needing something really big" coupled with a bulging, footlong object made our mind go to an entirely different place than a Subway restaurant.
You know that feeling you get when you watch somebody do something stupid in complete confidence? You know, that vicarious embarrassment where you wish you weren't even around to see it?
RackSpace gives us that same feeling, impressively from a distance, with its latest campaign, which carries the ironic tagline "At RackSpace, we speak your language."
Attempts to show audiences you're down with them by interpreting their brand of l33t-sp33k rarely do well, and rarely succeed in making you look like a native speaker. Oops and NBTTTP variations here. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
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