The Consumerist is hosting a survey to determine the best fake marketing blog for 2006. Contestants include McDonald's for its 4Railroads and Mcdmillionwinner flogs, Wal-mart for Walmarting Across America and Sony for All I Want For Xmas Is A PSP. Currently, Sony has the most votes for worst fake blog of 2006. Check out the survey and share your thoughts.
It seemed like such a good idea in theory.
For client Borders, design studio Firstborn created the Gift Squad, a site that aims to make gift-choosing easier but feels more like a horrifying attack by the characters adults find soothing for children but that actually populated our nightmares.
We dug the idea of an elf-chat. That could work. But Gift Squad asks a bunch of confusing and seeming unrelated questions generated by nothing that appears to be human. And along the way you're bounced across five other vapidly-happy "experts" (the nutcracker, the teddy bear, etc) on this quest that's starting to feel like the search for the holy grail - and all you want is for some human being playing elf to say "I know what to get your mom! She'll love a box of truffles from Borders! Would you like to order now?" or something similarly simple.
Do we ask so much?
It's sad we even need an ad campaign to tell people how to take care of their babies but that's the mission of a current New York City transit campaign for the city's Administration for Children's Services and Department of Health and Mental Hygiene (mental hygiene? that's a new one). Unfortunately, there are idiots in this world that do need to be told some very obvious things about caring for a baby. Trouble is, this campaign seems to confuse more than educate - well, at least to those mentally hygiene-challenged types.
Ironi Sans sent us this video clip of two of the campaign's subway cards placed next to each other. The first reads, "Don't Leave Him Alone." The second reads, "It's Safest For Him to Sleep Alone." That sort of "education" is sure to make a mentally hygiene-challenged person's logic loop explode which is quite the opposite, we're sure, of the campaign's intent.
You'd think Jolt wouldn't have to try hard to be grassroots considering they survive on high school hearsay about the soda's cracklike qualities. Yet somehow here they are, failing at the fresh-faced amateur game. The video, enthusiastically entitled "There's a new king in town!" really says it all. But if you need a bigger clue, here's a cut out of Jolt PR email:
"I am here to share a video created by a bunch of college kids in the spirit of the season and in appreciation of Jolt- the most highly caffeinated beverage in the universe!"
We've all seen them before. Those videos and commercials that begin with some odd or strange action and follow it through until the end at which some kind of payoff is provided making the previous :59 worth one's while. Unless you can speak "reindeer" and some sort of joke is being told, you'll waste a full :60 watching this Deutsch holiday video.
We don't need to tell you PETA prefers animals to people. South Park established that and everything South Park says is true. But why they need to defecate on the holidays by creating trite little would-be virals about reindeer trampling Santa, we'll never know.
Dissatisfied with a fantasy about the gift-giving saint underfoot, they took it further still by turning the song into a masturbation fest about how awesome PETA is for, among other things, its clever use of busty naked women to rail against animal exploitation. (See our equal opportunity coverage here.)
If you happen to dislike PETA, join us in grabbing your forehead with disdain. And if you happen to dig the hell out of what they're doing, be happy. Look at all the publicity they get from us.
"Dude, have you heard about this wild new ad technology that matches the content of an article to the subject matter of your ad? Oh, it's so cool. You just choose a few keywords that describe the ad and computers serve it up when an article mentions those keywords. It's like brainless. So easy to set up."
Um, yea, dude. We've heard of it. It's great if you want to make your client look like an unfeeling idiot who thinks it's OK to offer killer supermarket values in articles about Amish killings or turpentine next to an article about a girl who used the stuff to abort a pregnancy or Target selling Anna Nicole Smith's dead son.
Now, it seems, it's OK for Toyota to urge you to run right out and buy a car while reading about a teacher hit by a car. You can't make this shit up but we wish someone would make it stop.
This doll with missing limbs literally blows Trailer Trash Barbie out of the running. BBDO is behind this attempt to get Singaporean consumers to pay more attention to the plight of Cambodia, which happens to be deluged with landmines.
"It's often joked that shopping is both the national sport and the national pastime [of Singapore]," ECD Farrokh Madon explains to AdCritic. "Parents looking for dolls for their baby girls were greeted with a chilling reminder of what life is like for Cambodian children."
The campaign includes a direct mail component in which company execs with children receive the doll (and others like it) at the office "since parents are the most vulnerable when it comes to kids," adds Madon. This is so they'll talk to other office folk about the grotesque gift.
The back of the box "tells the sad tale of a Cambodian Princess who loses a leg on the day of the Cambodian New Year," ultimately directing shoppers to Surprising Cambodia.
We can't help but wonder how Cambodian kids would feel receiving one of these for the holidays, and learning this is how they're being hawked in nearby countries. That would definitely give me hope for the future. Wouldn't it do the same for you?
That nasty sickness contextual advertising just can seem to shake has reared its ugly head once again. This time, those reading about how 250 people got sick after eating at an Indianapolis Olive Garden restaurant are now encouraged to experience their own sickness first hand compliments of a Free Dinner for Two at the national restaurant chain. Oh yes, Olive Garden wouldn't think of making you pay to get sick at one of their restaurants. They want you to get sick for free. How thoughtful.
In case the U.K. serial killer who strips prostitutes of their clothing but leaves their jewelery behind was ever in need of some jewelery, John Christian Jewelers is right there to help. In fact, they're right there in the middle of a Guardian article about the murders so if he's reading his own press, John Christian Jewelers has made a great ad placement. Oh wait. They didn't have anything to do with it. It's just a bunch of pre-programed, contextually-motivated ad servers which are incapable of rendering any semblance of common sense. Click here to see the full story with the ad