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Firebrand Thinks People Will Actively Seek Commercials

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We really wonder if people do their homework before launching what they believe will become something akin to the next YouTube. The idea of commercials as content has been done many times before and has failed each time. However, the recently launched Firebrand doesn't seem to care and believes its offering of the "coolest" commercials served up MTV VJ-style will connect "consumers directly with their favorite brands in an integrated environment." How many billions of time have we heard that before?

We tried really hard not to laugh when Firebrand CEO Roman Vinoly said, "We program TV spots like a DJ spins music in a club. There is a rhythm and flow to it." In an attempt to spin Firebrand as something other than a massive database of commercials, Vinoly adds, "On Firebrand, you'll see more car chases, explosions, gags, drama, heroes, Oscar-winning actors, directors and producers in an hour than in a month of HBO." Right, dude. They're still fucking commercials. Not The Sopranos.

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by Steve Hall    Sep-26-07   Comments (7)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Cable, Commercials, Mobile/Wireless, Online, Opinion, Television

Hugo Fragrances Hauls Out Mutual of Omaha Mating Ritual Dance

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We're having a really, really tough time deciding whether this new video promoting the Hugo Fragrances XY for Men and XX for Women is insightfully witty or over-the-top horrific. Using the male stalks female in the wild analogy, the video lets us observe the mating rituals of a man and a woman in a museum. The video leads to a website which features Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Bette Franke sparring in a boxing ring. All to promote dueling fragrances.

by Steve Hall    Sep-21-07   Comments ()    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Campaigns, Celebrity, Good, Video

Netflix Wants Us to Sign Up After Having Been A Member For Four Years

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One would think a company like Netflix, with massive, sophisticated databases of its subscribers and the movies it rents might, when it comes to sending out its direct mail solicitations, actually be able to keep track of who's a member and who isn't. Or at least convey that to their direct marketing firm.

We've lost track of the number of times mailers have arrived asking us to become a member when we've been a member for over four years. Sometimes they come by mail. Other times they come by email. Sometimes, we'll receive a "your movie has been sent" email right after we receive a "become a member" email.

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by Steve Hall    Sep-19-07   Comments (9)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Direct

Fubar Promotes Online Happy Hour with Sultry ... Teenager?

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Here's an ad for Fubar, an online bar, that just leaped out at us. Jailbait, anyone?

Somebody pinch us; that chick looks young. If she walked up to us with a line like, "Wanna get me drunk?" we'd be all, "Wanna show me some ID?"

Oh, snap. Here's our girl of the hour, about five years prior (NSFW). If she looks young now...

by Angela Natividad    Sep-19-07   Comments (2)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Online

Mazda Still Makes Cars? Well, It Sure as Hell Can't Make Ads

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Imagine the music you'd hear at a gay strip club. Is your pelvis gyrating yet? Good. Add graphics from Japanese ninja porn. Toss in a green car for good measure.

You know what you get?

This ad for Mazda - which, to be frank, has given us (arguably) worse ads in the past. We can't think of a slogan that beats "Fitness comes as standard," though. If you can, congratulations.

JWT Dusseldorf, why have you forsaken us?

by Angela Natividad    Sep-17-07   Comments (11)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Commercials

Bell Mobility References Holocaust With 'Belsen Was A Gas' Button

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Portfolios.com's David Katz alerts us to an ad for Bell Mobility's Solo Mobile placed in Toronto's Downsview Station which carries a small pin that reads, "Belsen was a gas." The ad has caused a bit of a stir. The pin refers to the World War II Nazi concentration camp Bergen-Belsen where gassing was anything but a pleasant experience. The pin is tiny but several commuters spotted it and it became a TV news story last Thursday.

Whether intentional or an art director's sneaky joke, Bell Mobility quickly reacted and issued a statement, saying, "We are in the process of removing all of these particular Solo Mobile ads... running these ads was an error on our part and one we certainly regret. You won't see them again of course."

The company promise all fifty one ads in and around Toronto and Vancouver which contain the button would be removed.

by Steve Hall    Sep-17-07   Comments (8)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Outdoor

P. Diddy's 'Unforgivable' is Unforgivable

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Every once in a while a piece of work comes along that clearly looks like it's trying way too hard to accomplish what it set out to do. Courtesy of P. Diddy's Unforgivable fragrance, this is such a piece of work. For 2:58, we are subjected to repetitive images of Diddy mentally drooling for hottie Jessica Gomez, whom he ultimately beds in the final seconds of the video. It's styled like a quick cut video from the eighties and the music swells as if the creators of the video are circle jerking themselves to mutual orgasm.

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by Steve Hall    Sep-15-07   Comments (7)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Celebrity, Commercials, Video

Crush Calculator Could Do with a Better Selection of Soulmates

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We can't even describe how creeped-out we get when we see this ad for Crush Calculator. The thought of being passionately grasped by that furry over-the-hill co-ed is frightening - but somehow so realistic that we can smell the bacon on his wife beater and see the indentation he'd make on the couch while playing video games.

If he's our future, we're bummed.

by Angela Natividad    Sep-13-07   Comments (1)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Online

Samsung's Blueseat Celebrates 'Emerging' Filmmakers

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Illustrating the idiocy that is often passed off as breakthrough work from independent filmmakers, this spot hypes Samsung's Blue Seat, a celebration of the independent film industry which claims to help "emerging filmmakers keep their vision alive. Oddly, a star-filled, Sean Penn-directed film is featured on the site. How independent and emerging is that?

by Steve Hall    Sep-12-07   Comments (3)    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad

Hey, Kid. Want Some Manpower Candy?

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We got the coolest spam today. Check it out here.

For those too lazy or too distrusting to click, it says:

"Hey, can you make love more that 10 minutes? Yes, you can with our 'manpower candies.' All love enhancers (and many other meds) at one online store!"

We're not really sure what manpower candies are. They sound like a cross between our favourite peppermint treat and Power Thirst. We looked them up on our handy-dandy internets and only found more questions than answers.

by Angela Natividad    Sep-12-07   Comments ()    Bookmark and Share     
Topic: Bad, Online, Strange

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