Lack Talent? Have Hair

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While it doesn't answer the question of how American Idol survived beyond its first season, our current theory, that lots of hair can keep you buoyant despite any other merits you may lack, is the reason we think the unlikely Sanjaya Malakar remains in the musical running.

See his audition here.

His singing ain't fantastic but the whole seven ponytails ("For good luck!") shtick he recently pulled off is endearing to somebody. Many somebodies.

Even Simon is at a loss for words, noting if America likes him then it doesn't matter what he says. The defeated attitude wears badly on our judge of choice.

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by Angela Natividad    Mar-29-07    
Topic: Bad, Television



Karl Rove Enthusiastically Molests Hip-Hop

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We don't know what Mr. Rove was thinking at the Radio Television Correspondents' Association Dinner, but if hip-hop wasn't dead before he just shot it in the face. We'll never again be able to purge the memory of him jerking his hands from side to side and whipping out his cell-phone with knees bouncing.

Well, if we were part of the Administration we too would run with the strange, liberating sensation that comes with having nothing left to lose.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-29-07    
Topic: Bad, Events, Strange, Television



Yes, It's True. House Advertising Is Here

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Three years ago, we said it might not be so surprising for an advertiser to place their logo on the side of a house. Now, a company called Riley, with help from new Durham-based agency The Republik, plans to "turn upscale homes into a media vehicle" by allowing manufacturers to purchase space for product placement within newly built homes. Eesh. And we thought E's 'The Simple Life' pink house promotion was bad.

by Steve Hall    Mar-28-07    
Topic: Bad, Strange



Old KFC Ad is Gross in Current Context

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This 2005 ad, in which some call center members sing to one another with their mouths full of KFC, would probably have been more appetizing were it not for this.

Oh, ick. By Bartle Bogle Hegarty in 2005 for Kentucky Fried Chicken, the British made a record number of complaints about the spot, according to AdFreak. It would be hard to molest our own sense of propriety but the recent rat scandal pushed the envelope just enough for us to understand how they must have felt.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-26-07    
Topic: Bad, Brands, Television



Apple TV - H8xOred!

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Apparently the Apple TV nervous system isn't as resilient as their computers. Post first day of shipping, ZDNet spills the beans:

Non-Apple TV owners can enjoy the out of box experience by viewing the opening video which one crafty person ripped from the hard drive and posted in all of it's 720p glory. You can also download the Quartz Composer Screen Saver and the Now Playing Screen. And if you're truly hard-core you can download the entire Apple TV OS, and (conceivably) install it on another Mac.

And apparently that was just the easy stuff.

First generation Apple TV = FTL. Here's to hoping the almighty iPhone fares better.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-26-07    
Topic: Bad, Brands, Television



Somehow Buffalo and Beaver Sells Rental Cars

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We are at a loss at coming up with an explanation as to what a beaver and a buffalo have to do with highlighting Alamo rental's new kiosks other than for pure "odd factor." In two Fallon-created, Moo-produced commercials, the two animals get all buddy-buddy-like with the beaver taking on the smart guy role and the buffalo the doofus role all to explain why Alamo's kiosks aren't being used as much as they should. See the spots here and here and tell us if we're right or full of...excrement.

by Steve Hall    Mar-26-07    
Topic: Bad, Brands, Campaigns, Commercials, Strange



Fuel Recycles for Mazda's Queue of Lame Duck Campaigns

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Commendably persistent in its quest to spark the libido of speed-freak co-eds (previous attempts one and two), Mazda throws the weight of some slightly-below-indy Canadian bands behind a new virtual driving game.

Created by Fuel Industries, the courses were shot on college campuses and university students can choose between three.

We played the game and it seemed promising until we realized the speed couldn't be adjusted (from what we could tell, anyway) and we didn't even have to mess with the right or left functions. Just keep pushing the forward button and the car turns for you. If only real-life cars were that smart. Oh wait, Lexus might be.

Learn something from Candystand, the branded-game pros, or even Nokia, who really struck gold with almost the same idea. In fact, it was made by the same people.

Ew, a sloppy seconds campaign. Not cute.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-21-07    
Topic: Bad, Games, Online



Fifth (Or Later) Assvertising Campaign Dubbed 'World's First'

We just love when big companies usurp the ideas of others and claim to be the first at something when, in fact, very clearly, they are not. Why? Because we get to trash them for it. Had anyone behind the Gene Simmons Family Jewels show done even the tiniest bit of home work, they'd realize they were not, in fact, the first to launch an assvertising campaign. Far from it. They're not even the second. Or the third. Or the fourth. Do your homework, people. Damn, a simple Google search turns up 17,500 results!

While slapping panties that read "Gene Simmons Family Jewels"on 25 models and having them prance about tomorrow at the Hard Rock Cafe's Times Square location to promote the second season of Simmons' show, those involved seem to have forgotten this very thing has already occurred in the same city. NightAgency, which created the concept, did it for New York Health and Racquet Club. Kodak did it at a trade show in Boston. A Russian tire shop did it. MTN did it in Italy. And those are just the ones we've covered.

If you really must see this ill-name "first," hurry over to the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square tomorrow, Thursday, March 22 at 12PM.

UPDATE: Our explanation seems to have caught someone's attention. The words "world's first" have been removed from the press release.

by Steve Hall    Mar-21-07    
Topic: Bad, Guerilla



Julie Roehm, Sean Womak Gush Lustful Thoughts Over Email

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Oh please. Do we really need to know what Julie Roehm and alleged lover Sean Womack said to each other over email? Reading other people's email is never a good thing. Especially when it has to do with interpersonal relationships. It's like watching your parents have sex. Some things should never be shared.

Having to read Roehm gush things like, "I think about us together all the time. Litle moments like watching your face when you kiss me. I loved your voice mail last night and love the idea of memory and kept thinking/wishing that it would have been you and I there last night. So there's a little head action for you," is just not necessary. And it's especially not necessary to read Womack reply, "That was some good head action for me." Ew. Please. This stuff just belongs between two lovers. Not in court documents.

by Steve Hall    Mar-20-07    
Topic: Agencies, Bad, Policy



Day Rider Puts Unimpressive Spin on Knight Rider

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Ugh. We're not sure what Carsguide was thinking when they agreed to launch this campaign by Cummins and Partners out of Melbourne.

Animated by Firehorse Films, the guys who did bro'Town (NZ's response to Family Guy), this film, called Day Rider, is a kitsch-ridden, awkward spoof on the '80's series Knight Rider. Naturally the car becomes the protagonist's worst enemy.

Because for some odd reason watching an '80's hoopty go bad will inspire you to possess one of your own, Carsguide ties the campaign in with an opportunity to win an '84 TransAm.

We're trying to think of more mean things to say but we're too sleepy and bored, so we'll just move on now.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-20-07    
Topic: Bad, Campaigns, Online