Here's a creepy twist on the American Psycho premise.
You're in the Chinese laundry. Some hotshot white executive walks in and starts heckling the pitiable Asian owner in front of his family. He makes the nasty requisite Pokemon and Hello Kitty jokes, does the grating "oriental" accent. Things are clearly spiraling out of control.
Suddenly, a black dude in the background takes a call on his Jawbone Bluetooth headset. And in a noise-canceling orchestration Bose would be proud of, the world beyond his convo is efficiently muted.
If you want a seriously retarded re-cap of this year's Super Bowl commercials, be sure to check out Bob Garfield's video in which he thinks one of the Bridgestone commercials was homophobic, an extremely tame Victoria's Secret commercial somehow compels guys to go home and masturbate, the cartoonish heart in that Careerbuilder commercial as well as the "blood curdling scream" in Audi's Godfather spot will "scare the wits" out of children, Diet Pepsi Max is somehow marketed as a drug, McDonald's somehow shouldn't make people aware it's behind the Ronald McDonald House and that it's impossible for two people of opposing political parties to put aside their arguing for a day and relate to each other like human beings.
Seriously, Bob. Life really isn't as bad as you paint it. Didn't you see Coke's beautiful balloon ballet? OK, so this year's Super Bowl wasn't a stellar one ad-wise but it was not the debacle you paint it.
Really, we don't know what we were expecting. But we sure hoped it would be more than what Victoria's Secret gave us.
What a waste of Adriana Lima's come-hither talents. Check out the preview, which is about as unimaginative as the ad itself, which just wastes more time.
We can't believe Hyundai waffled over the inclusion of its ads in the Super Bowl this year, a decision (or lack of it) that build unmerited hype for what we thought to be a really boring brand.
Well, that hasn't changed. This Genesis ad was a waste of time and a waste of $2.7 mill or whatever they ended up paying for it. If they were hoping to be confused for the average Lexus, or the average anything-else, good job, Hyundai.
We all know sticking a baby in a commercial usually guarantees it to be a success so we figure this Etrade ad with a talking baby would follow that trend...until, of course, the baby puked. Ew. Gross. And how much can you digitally manipulate a baby before it's really anything but a baby. And, what was it again Etrade was trying to advertise? We still can't get over that baby puke! See the commercial here along with another.
OK, so they are kind of funny but still.
We suppose there's a legion of Carmen Elektra lovers out there but wasn't she popular like ten years ago? And what's up with that secret "whoa" word in this commercial? Yea we get that the security guards are reacting when she says the word but where's the set up? Where's the reason for them reacting the way they do? We don't get it. But, hey, she's still nice to look at so it can't be all bad.
OK, so we finally get to see those cavemen do their thing as they struggle to deliver Bud Light to the party which becomes easier when another cave dude invents the wheel. We hate subtitles. We didn't like the ad. We did, however, very much like the Bud Light Fire ad. Now that was funny.
OK, we can totally understand why FOX didn't accept the "beaver" version of Danica Patrick's GoDaddy commercial. Paparazzi drooling over "beaver." "Celebrities" holding beavers in their laps. Danica cooing into the camera, "A domain name and a website from GoDaddy.com give me all the exposure I need so I can keep my beaver safe and out of site." Right. Like there's no double meaning there, Bob. Yawn.
Oh, and let's not forget the Candice Michelle version in which a doofus is too busy registering domain names to watch the game and his friend can't help but inject his sexual fantasies into the scenario. Hey Bob, we've got the perfect tagline for GoDaddy. Ready? Here it is. "GoDaddy Gets You Laid." Simple enough. After all, that is what you're trying to say, right?
By now you've heard the spot GoDaddy's Bob Parsons wants you to see won't air during the game. The spot(s) that will air feature a crowd of people at a party scene. In one, White Light, Candice Michelle makes her appearance in a doorway to a transfixed audience. In another, Spot On, Danica Patrick teases the crowd to check her out online in her "OMG! Fox Rejected Commercial!" So after the game, if you care, that's where you can see Danica and that whole beaver thing.
We're going back to sleep now.
When we heard Sunsilk tapped design firm Desgrippes Gobe, Paris and BrandThinkTank to compose its Super Bowl spot -- which features images of Madonna, Shakira and Marilyn Monroe -- we pictured something deliciously Warholian and mod. We thought it would make sensuous sport of our eyes and ears.
Instead there was this.
We watched it twice to be sure of its suckage. We are now certain. The pictures and music should flow, but the ad feels like it missed a much-needed appointment with the cutting room. It's all too much like a YouTube mashup.
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